...to catch, kill or gather your next meal...what would it be?

Right now? Squirrel or cat, with cattail tubers and spring water to wash it down. But for the recent cold snap, I probably could have added in some fresh baby mustard greens, but they'll be set back another few weeks now.

I'd be done in less than one hour, have everything killed, cooked, cleaned, eaten, and burped in less than 2, and leaving 2 more for a nice nap.

Walk into the back room, open the freezer, pull out a DiGiorno.

Does looting count?

There's a 250 lb hog in the pen I'm thinking sausage or ribs. I can finish butchering after I eat.

LOL .... and a cold beer

crabs, swimps and fish or go kill a hog depending on time of day. of course you could always drive down the road and kill a slow elk if you were desperate.

Beef or venison

I would have liked to whack the cow moose that was standing on my front lawn this morning. She ate the hell out of my neighbors crabapple tree. Other than that there isn't a lot of critters around this year. Hares are on the bottom of their cycle. Probably a better chance to chase down some ptarmigan.

Assuming there was nothing in my home, I'd have to sit on the back deck for maybe an hour or so to take down a mule deer. I'd be screwed though for side dishes.

Anything illegal to kill?

No...not even your freezer.

No.

well so much for slow elk.

I guess I could poach a deer no problem but I'd be breaking the law
Is this like zombie apocalypse times or is there still lawmen roaming ?

living next to the ocean provides a lot of options as you know.

My "ocean " is not liquid right now.ice fishing has been slow around here

Yes. You're the last man standing and it gets dark in four hours. From where you're at, what could you catch, kill or gather (outside) to eat before then? Deer is good...I probably couldn't get one in four hours.

In this snow you could they are yarded up

hell i've been known to eat a grub or two and earthworms are not bad, kinda bland. i'd have no trouble finding something to eat. termites taste like almonds by the way.

Dang, that's easy. Neighborhood free-range chickens wander into my yard every morning.

Finding food in four hours is easy. Finding it when everyone else is after it too.....not so much.

4 hours isn't quite enough time to get to the nearest Pappa Deaux to gather up some Alaskan King Crab, but I'd easily find some other place to settle down for a few brews and BBQ.

Ants have a nice citrusy flavor, too.

Figure in 4 hours, you could likely find relatively fresh roadkill if nothing else.

In four hours, in this area, I've got a world of options for meat but greens are scarce this time of year. In about another 4-6 weeks, all that changes.

There's always something to eat; the question is whether you'd eat it.

Chick-Fil-A Meal #5, the spice chicken club. Line is so long here that at lunch you could spend half that time waiting to place the order

Any neighborhood pets that I could get a bead on, ha. Actually, right now we're covered in geese in our area so probably a couple of them. Lot's of doves too.

There's plenty of skwirls & doves & blackbirds around , other than that I guess I could kill one of the dogs


Mike

Catch a few Redfish, and pick off a few dozen fresh Oysters on the way back in.......doesn't get any better!

In Idaho, those invasive Eurasian Collard Doves are not protected. You can kill them year-round with no limit so long as you have a hunting license. I know where they like to hang out, and they're not real bright. Easy, peasy.

Outside ? FUG dat it's minus 2 in the front yard. Warm up the Jeep and bring back a mess of ribeyes from the sto'.

I have a 3 minute drive to work right now and someone just on the other side of the shop has a crapload of goats....

The next door neighbors have a dozen laying hens right across the fence. I could easily hop in and get a handful of fresh eggs because nobody is home during the day.

Other than that, I could pop enough starlings with the bb gun for a meal and maybe some sparrows for appetizers.

Same here!

With that criteria, it's a slam dunk - mule deer doe. More of them around than anything else, and the ones in town are damn near tame. No problem getting one in somebody's front yard less than 5 minutes from the office

Edit: forgot about the neighbor's horses - wouldn't have to pack meat as far...

Dove, pecans, maybe squill. The city just stocked some fish
at the
little lake at the park nearby.

I can go out the office here in town, about a mile, and have a deer within an hour pretty easy. POssibly within 5 minutes since its nice out.... should be plenty down by the boat ramp...

I have about 10 dozen smelt swimming in a bait tank in my garage.

If that wasn't enough, I'd walk about 200 yard behind the house and kill one of three bull moose that are hanging out there.

Rabbit, sharptail grouse or mule deer doe.

If a person is an acceptable answer I could probably bag one of those in under four hours as well.



Travis

Good idea. I was thinking fish, but oysters are a slam dunk. Pays to think like an injun.

oysters are given for us.

Something tender. I'll try to not break the glass.

I'm eating at your place!

Seafood is easy around here. Red meat, not so much, unless you like animals with webbed feet.

You have platypus in Texas?

don't know about platy but plenty of puss the younger ones are much more tender...

I forgot about all the alligators. Don't care for them much, but they're easy to get.

Last I looked the thermometer said six under nothing. There's about three feet of snow on the ground. I could find some yarded up deer a few minutes from here.

Gambel's Quail, Fresh New Zealand White Rabbit, Young tender Onions, Fresh Young Garlic.

Got a stash of last year's Mesquite beans that grind into pretty fair Flour (a PITA), for some griddle cakes.

There are deer and Javalina right close, if one got bored with the above.

GTC

We have red meat close by too. This one was killed between my house and the oyster reef.

Neat looking horse.




Travis

This afternoon, right now, I could kill a couple dozen doves in the trees in and around the yard. Deer are plentiful in the mesquite brush and one could be harvested quickly if needed.

I'll walk across the driveway and kill a goat.

They're a bitch to saddle.

From my yard; doves and pigeons and the neighbors fat cat. W/in 1 hour Burros and Wild Horses are a sure thing w/ Mule Deer and Elk a fair possibility. I could also be catching trout in 1 hour, catfish and stripers too.

mike r

okok could probably find plenty of black seacock.

Have a bunch of those Eurasian ring necked doves around, a few rabbits and about a block away I could shoot an antelope.

yard bird, or labrador.

Fat Ring neck Doves make a home in my back yard, rabbits like to lay in the shade in the front yard,local lakes are open due to good weather, I'm told the fishing is pretty good right now, and I'm pretty sure I could drive a couple of hours and poach a moose.

I could walk out of the office and probably dig up a handful of clams and a few crabs pretty quick. Lot of deer around. I'm sure I could poke one in 4 hours.

Kale in the garden.

2 rabbits under one of my trailers right now, I could prolly pop 4 or 5 doves off the driveway in about 15 minutes.

Behind the house I could easily shoot quail or mule deer.

Dude - starlings must be about the nastiest thing alive with feathers. I used to pop 'em from my back patio and have my lab retrieve them for practice and entertainment. It took me a little while to convince her to pick 'em up. She always had that "this thing smells and tastes nasty" look on her face when she brought 'em. Never seen a cat take one either.

Of course, the fare changes with the season - if you have seasons. Sport fishing ain't all that reliable right here, but during much of the warmer part of the year I can fill a canoe with carp in about an hour - 15 minutes from home.

same here

You are always thinking about eating somebody.

I would gather at HEB.

Now I'm going to do you all a favor and let you in on a little-known (in the US) non-secret.

Purslane.

It's a well-known food crop in most of the world, but Americans just think it's a persistent weed. Picked young, it is quite tasty. Nutritious too. It's usually the first thing around here to sprout in the garden, by the sidewalk, in flower pots, etc. It grows just about everywhere the soil has been cultivated.

I have that nasty ass weed in my gardens

Well, there are only going to be a few times in a person's life they can legally eat person. So you gotta be ready.



Travis

As a boy growing up in Central Florida along the Gulf, we would always stop by an Oyster bar on the way back in from fishing the flats to chip off a few dozen fresh Oysters and put them in a wet burlap sack. I still have the old Mason hammer we sued for that task.

Sad to say, can't do that anymore, nor can you stay all summer long at the little county park in Ozello we used to live at for the entire summer while out of school! Thos were great times!

Of course you do. Everybody does. Pick the limbs when young and tender. Cook it like you would spinach or asparagus. lightly salt....enjoy. Also makes great filler or topping on enchiladas.

I could kill a mess of squirrel/rabbit in the yard, beaver in the pond and I know for sure deer when the sun went down. I could also flame a few bald eagles.

Pus......or are we talking about nutritional needs?

a I would gather DQ foot long Slaw Dog with fries and lemonade.

I would gather a DQ foot long Slaw Dog with fries and lemonade.

Easy. I'd head to the coast, and be back with about 50 lbs. of mussels, clams, snails and various other sea critters in no time. Grab some seaweed too. Be home with time enough to spare to whack a couple of squirrels out back. Voila: surf and turf.

there's about 120 head of angus behind the house here with their calves. I can carve out a back strap and have it on the weber genesis in less than 1 hour

if the answer to the question included hitting the years worth of cached Mountain House, MRE, buckets of rice/beans/flour etc, then I am set right now.
If the correct response is killing or catching something, then I have the back yard. Squirrel, coon, birds, and within easy walking distance, fishing.
I certainly have the skills set to handle the issue.

Rabbit or squirrel. Never a shortage and snow makes it easy.

If we are going to go cannibal I think a discussion on the best technique for field dressing and meat prep is in order. Is ethnicity a factor in choosing prey? Which is your favorite knife for people work?

Sorry for the thread bomb, sometimes I get carried away.

mike r

Human beans are mammals. No fancy prep required. I've read of folks coming across bush markets in Africa where 'long pig' has been offered. Hint: 'long pig' ain't porcine.

Deer,rabbit,or squirrel could be killed without having to go more than a couple hundred yards probably less.

Piece of cake, limb chicken!


maddog

I would go out back and arrow an axis doe, carve out the backstraps and make axis marsala.

4 hours and really hungry, as in survival situation?

chop hole in ice and bait a hook on a line

kill anything that crawls, walks or flies and hope to to have surf and turf

HD, do yall have a lot of quail?

as of right now could kill a deer, turkey, squirrel or pheasant within an hour on the place. Could have the neighbors dog on a spit in 20 minutes

4 seconds, walk out the back door and shoot a calf.

Dat's mean...............but tender

I can also raid the neighbors hen house for eggs

Wife and I had delivery Chinese for dinner tonight. Delivery guy shows up and there's a cat standing on my front porch.

Collar on it and name is Twiggy.

Hmm, I have take out duck and Twiggy. Hmm, problem solved. (we gave her some milk and sent on her way. Really friendly cat and I am not a cat person).

Failing that, some stocked trout and lots of urban deer nearby to take but with a moose and quail and boar in the freezer and it planning on it being 8 degrees tonight and the freezer in the detached garage I'm good.

I'd gather some meat out of my deep freezer, there's 6 deer in there. Forgot to add that all them deer are dead.

UH, he said 'meal'

I'll choot the bigguns for company, and 10-roger on the hen berries.

I like Korean food too!

Beeves are about 1000 ft from the house here...just up the street

Da fook is a beeve?

Around here, deer, rabbits, fish. I believe all three could be had in 4 hours, if it was a life death thing with the 4 hours I would go for the fish first.

I googled it, plural for beef , you dang linguistics majors. ror

Me too but dog gives me the trots

I thought for sure it was gonna be something hairless.

That would be split tail beaver silly...or beardless clam.

Wife saw a gopher in the yard today..

Barring that, I'd have to whack a WT outta the coulee next to the house.

white tail doe just outside my yard fence. maybe a grouse I saw roosting in a hawthorn next to the drive. not much for a salad this time of year. oh ya. some spuds left in the ground and covered. Mashed. with dripping gravy from the fried tenderloin.
chased with some hard cider left from the apple crop this year.

Squirrel or rabbit on the property. Got laying hens and some roosters I could dispatch. Seen lots of deer and turkey recently. Neighbors have cows and goats adjoining the property, heck sometimes on my property. Might have to poach but lots of protein available. Fish and green vegetables are hard to come by right now.

Everything is out of season but I did see about 20 'pet' roosters in the hay yard, hundred or so geese out in the field, usual whitetails and of course my cow friends.
(all about 4 minutes from my house)


Guess I'd have to shoot a steer to avoid poaching.

Deer from out the window. Good chance it would be eating an apple.

I think about these things often because I work in a temperate "impovershed" city surrounded by water that is full of fish and edible crustacians. Anything will grow here. There are no gardens and none of the "starving" people fish.

If I ever move to a new home a little further out, I will have a well drilled even tho I would hope to never use it all the much.

It's been one of those days. Reading the title I thought of Viagra. You know, what fills the four hours before the warning says to see your doctor.

I guess to continue, go fishing for perch. And to revert, go out and deal with a bunch of ice holes.

And I haven't even had a drink tonight. Yet.

There are lots of feedlots within 4 hrs of here.

Presuming the other 2 million people in Bexar County ain't all trying to do the same thing...

This city floods at the drop of a hat, so there's lots of places along creeks you cannot build. The riparian corridors in San Antonio all have good numbers of deer and hogs, nearest one as close to 400 yards of my house.

Other than that, dogs and cats all day long.

Birdwatcher

It is amazing how people will starve (or in most cases here, go begging ) with food all around them, free for the taking.

Beardless indeed, bearded clams aren't fit to eat.

Within 30 minutes I would definitely have a few pigeons, maybe a duck or two hopefully wood ducks or teal and not a dam mallard, and some sunfish for sure and probably a crappie. If it were a bad situation and I wasnt concerned about being legal I could also get a turkey shot off the roost in a evergreen thicket on the way to my fishing hole that is also my duck and pigeon hole.

I'd pull the stone crab traps, catch a snook, put boat on trailer, drive to farm, shoot a deer, hog, turkey, gator, sandhill, squirrel, GWT and be back home with an hour to spare. Florida sucks DO NOT MOVE HERE

Steers we sold about 10 days ago went to Colorado.

JBS?

DONE, SON!

=============

My neighbor's hound dog that won't STFU for 20 hours a day.

That is damn nice buck! I thought deer in 'bama were tiny...that's why you can shoot a bakers dozen per day for 6 months?

Living on the coast, I can be fishing in a few minutes.

I could drive 3 minutes to the nearest lake for fishing and pop a couple pheasants on the way. Or if I took a left on the way to the lake, I could raid my cousins feed lot for beeves.

I would grab the loaded S&W model 19 sitting next to my computer, rotate my swivel chair slightly to my right, stick the muzzle out the window and shoot one of the 4 deer within 50 feet of me. Done.

Chicken, squirrel, deer, pigs, or maybe slow elk (beef Kind). All else fails the are fish to eat.

Not sure it would take 4 minutes to shoot any of the antelope I can see from right here.

I could walk out into the corral and bag a cow or heifer within about 4 minutes of walking out my door. Or, better yet, some cheval as he is pretty much worthless otherwise.

I've got plenty of pigeons that have taken roost in one of my open-faced sheds. I have a number of pheasants in the pasture behind the house and down the road.

Most likely a eurasian dove (tey're thick here)...but lots of quail & rabbits at first light.

[/quote]That is damn nice buck! I thought deer in 'bama were tiny...that's why you can shoot a bakers dozen per day for 6 months? [/quote]

Nothing to see here really. The fishing sucks too.

Fish-- walk down to the bridge, perform a little magic, and in a few minutes, have enough fish for the family for several days. Take longer to clean them, than to get them.

Wtf do they belong to? They damn sure aren't yours!