A Japanese couple is arguing about how to perform kinky, highly erotic sex:

Husband: "Sukitaki. mojitaka!"

Wife replies: "Kowanini! mowi janakpa!"

Husband says angrily: "Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo!"

Wife on her knees literally begging: "Mimi nakoundinda tinkouji!"

Husband shouts angrily: "Na miaou kina Tim kouji!"




I can't believe you just sat there trying to read this – you don’t know Japanese!

You'll read anything as long as it’s about sex.... You need serious help!!!










Japanese Sex translated!








A Japanese couple is arguing about how to perform kinky, highly erotic sex:

Husband: "Sukitaki. mojitaka!"
Translated: Wood. Giant!


Wife replies: "Kowanini! mowi janakpa!"

No! Toothpick!

Husband says angrily: "Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo!"

I will show you wench!

Wife on her knees literally begging: "Mimi nakoundinda tinkouji!"

Not now, I have a headache!

Husband shouts angrily: "Na miaou kina Tim kouji!"

You are just like your sister!

Thats just Wong!

You know what Lee, GFY.

It is that, literally; that ain't Japanese, though who's counting?

*********************************************

A single Chinese man owns a Chinese restaurant, and one day a beautiful Chinese woman walks in. He immediately walks over and asks her out on a date. She agrees. They go out for a while, and soon, the man proposes to her. She says "Yes, but before we do, there's something you must know. I have never had the sex, but I've read about it." He says that it's not a problem, and they are married.

On their honeymoon, the man tells his wife that since she's a virgin, she can choose what they do first. She says "Oh, most honorable husband. I am honored to be your wife, even though I have never had the sex, but I've read about it. So, I have chosen to have the 69.

The husband looks confused, and after thinking about it, he says "You want beef and broccoli NOW?"

Those freaking chinks are crazy, Kamo.

Ha, can you believe that chitt flew?

Those suckers will eat anything.

You know Wong Too?

Not sure what kinds of foods you might enjoy when eating out--if that's something you do--but if Chinese or any other Asian foods are on the list, I'll share a well-kept secret with you that few non-Asians know about. Be sure to refer to the proprietors of the establishment as Chinks when ordering. Seriously. They love being called that, and will take extra good care of you for your reference for sure. Let me know how you make out, OK?

Eating out Asian. Hummm...

WTF, here goes..........

Years ago, usta have lunch at a Chinese place by my work.

Name originally was "Bamboo Hut
Chinese Restaurant".

Two window panes.

A barfight later, name was:

"Bamboo

Chin Rest"

Eatin lunch, a woman at the next table ordered "sweet and sour chicken".

Waitress brought it out a little while later.

Woman said: "Oh, I didn't want the S/S sauce on top of the chicken."

Waitress, said: "Let me talk to the owner".

Went back to the kitchen, and, tho I don't speak Chinese, the following occurred:

Waitress (in Chinese): Unknown.

Owner/cook: $#%%&^(*&)(*()&*&*%^%$$#@%@$#!@#%^&*%^(*)*)_(_!
(*))&)*&(&$$%^@#^$^&*(&)_+(*&^%$%^$&*()_! (in Chinese)

Waitress comes out.

Tells the customer: She said: "OK, but try not to do it again."

Sure she did.

You're not allowed to play.

Bastid...

Suspect that Clarkson will be checking his food for a long time after this!

Solid bloody gold. It'd be in the running for HOF status if they added, "right, hurry along then Charlie!"

ROR!

RMFAO !!!

Best thlead I lead on here rong time.

No aspersions cast upon those with Asian roots, but having spent more than a few years in regions where a wide variety of local languages are Asiatic in nature...I smiled a lot in Nam, what with listening to the locals trying to speak Engrish.

Way too funny GI. I raff too much. They rove GI too much.

Gunny Harrelson thought it amusing as well. Or is that 'werr'?

If you happen to run across one of those folks someday, don't ask them for a lollipop. For God's sake, don't ask them to sing the song.

There are strictures in our society regarding cruel and unusual...

Like listening to the Vietnamese girl singing "Hang on Sroopy"????

Knowing eye a bit... I don't think he meant anything by chink, anymore than us calling ourselves crackers and the like...

But I do know folks that use it in a negative tone.

Ha! I ROR at that one!

Funny tales from the Chinese restaurant in the town in WI where I used to live. The owner, Khien, was a Vietnamese expat who cooked phenomenal food and was a good friend. Both my daughters worked for him off & on, waiting tables and tending bar. Being the only roundeye servers in the place, they got more than their share of bad jokes about the "numbah 69", etc. Good thing I raised my girls tough.

Egg Zachery

A cultural thing more than a language thing, but one of the funniest things that I have ever witnessed: my wife's small-town church had a priest who was Vietnamese, raised in Vietnam: on Mothers's Day years ago, he had a touching story that he had heard and wanted to share about a dutiful son. The mother was back east in a care facility. The son made sure that she was well-cared for; private nurse, trips out, etc. In coversation with one of the staff, Mother alluded to how proud she was of her son's success in the west. As the conversation progressed, the staff person inquired as to the son's business. Proud Mom said that she wasn't sure exactly what it was, but that it something to do with boarding pets as he had a string of cat houses in Nevada. Poor priest had no idea of the joke that he had just told in a Catholic Church on Mothers' Day.

already told leighton i'm going to fly to japan with him so he can hook me with a Geisha.

Japs are freaks.
I thought German women were bad...
Whoo-whoo.
Japanese women make Germans look like Amish.

true story:

In the early 1990's a large American Company and a Japanese company decided to start a joint venture, and build a new plant in Kentucky. At one point in the planning meetings for the plant, a group of Americans and Japanese are reviewing the plans and building schedule. One of the Japanese says, "we must have results of bowling test before start of construction."

The Americans wondered if this was a physical fitness test for the new employees (who actually were required to do the Japanese calisthenics each morning) and asked questions along that direction. The questions went back & forth for an hour, as the two sides were completely befuddled as to what the other meant. Finally a frustrated Japanese man said, "we must have results of bowling test. We must make sure there are no caves under the plant!"

What the Americans heard as "bowling" was actually "BORING" to check for caves underground, below the plant site. After everyone understood, they busted up laughing. After the end of the day, they went out for dinner & drinks

Yeah that whole speech/accent thing takes some getting used to.

I once had a Japanese guy tell me that he thought I was a great guy and I could date his daughter, although it did sound a little like "Go F'k yourself".

A guy I played rugby with in college was half-Chinese, half Scot, and grew up in Edinburgh. His burr was something to hear! But when he pretended to have a Chinese accent, it was hilarious.

On the other side of that coin, I knew a North Vietnamese woman (born in Haiphong, moved to Saigon as a young girl before the festivities started) when we both worked for a trucking company in Oregon.

Apparently the Vietnamese words for "iced tea" and "urine" are only a slight tonal inflection apart. The Vietnamese waitresses would get a big laugh when American GI's order iced tea to drink.

Yes.

I enjoyed my time in Japan.

probably- "ha ro "

Moshi-moshi!

In a bar in Japan in the 50's the bar girls would play on the juke box "Wake the town and tell the people" and sing "Burn the town and rape the people".

The old fleet landing in Manila would present hordes? of street walkers and pimps waiting for the liberty launches to dock. Once through the gate there would be aggressive solicitations and fondling by the local sex workers which in some cases would negate the the need for a cash transaction.

Yep, Roundup.
Longer ya last the more expensive it gets.

Grandad told about jerking off in a south pacific whore house WW2 waiting for his purchase to arrive the motel room.

"Wha da hell you doin, Joe? "

He responded,

"The first one's easy. I work for my money, you're going to, too. "