i have a rib poking out at my sternum, I'm sure i tore the cartilage, any body got any ideas on how to make the sob stop hurting,
I never cease to be amazed at this place, never. LOLOL.
On the other hand, sure I do.
1) Get a fifth of Clear Springs, a small hickory stick, a box cutter (w/new blade to minimize chance of infection), a big roll of paper towels, a cold forged chisel, a 8 oz hammer, some Gorilla Tape and a staple gun.
2) Drink half the Clear Springs.
3) When you begin to regain consciousness use the hickory stick as a bite block and make a deep incision with the box cutter at the junction of the offending rib and sternum.
4) Peel skin and flesh back with your finger nails until the disjointed joint is clearly visible. Dob the blood flow time to time with one end of the paper towel roll to keep things accessable.
5) If ragged edges of cartilage are obstructing the reseating of the joint use the chisel and hammer to trim the excess. If the rib has just jumped the joint bang it back in place with the little hammer.
6) Dry the joint with the remaining clean end of the paper towel roll and quickly use proper lengths of Gorilla Tape to hold the joint together temporarily.
7) Fold flesh and skin back in place and use staple gun to stitch said material to rib and sternum.
8) Splash small amount of Clear Springs on surgical site to sterilize and drink the rest.
9) When you regain consciousness again Ubber yourself to the nearest Emergency Room and rant about how much money you saved by doing it yourself.
10) Fall on your knees and beg for Morphine IV and/or General Anesthesia because that's the only way you'll get that sob to stop hurting.
Thank me later.