I thought this was going to be fun. However, I found my Viking name ended up being:

I had visions of Dorf the Impaler.

However, it came back: Bjorn the Bishop Stretcher
alternatively: Welk the Bottom Stretcher

Neither sound particularly savory.

I think I'll hide for the rest of the afternoon.

Jari the squid throttler.

Parek the Skull Skewerer.

You can figure out the modern day translation.

I’d avoid bottom stretcher for name whatsoever

Jari the Monkey Squasher.

I would have thought spanker would be more appropos...

Thorfast the Skull-Stamper.......

Apparently I managed Zarek spear slinger, or Jari...depending on what age the naming takes place.


Now it will be interesting to see just who it is that wants to know what our first names and birth dates are.

Gart The Squid Crusher..... LOL

Kare the brain stamper

One hung low!

Parek The Tongue Thumper?
Calm down woman or i'l thump ya with my tongue.

Magnus Monkey Stamper

Wrong thread you chink bastard...this thread caters for big dumb hairy drunk [bleep].

Jari The Bear Mangler

Ha! I'm Magnus Monk Stamper - I went for the village notary public/post office title

Sven the Knight Farter, hell I could be a super hero. haha

Ragnar the Shield Farter!

Can hear your dad now...

Harek the Elk Wrestler! Hot dang...headed out next week elk huntin!

Ooga!!

"Jarl the Head Stamper" for me..

HHHAAAARRRR....

Jari the Elk Farter

Really?

Then again, I have a reputation of hitting some rather high decibel levels at deer camp.

I’m hairy!!

....the Nair-do-well.

Sven the Hound Hammerer.....



Which is kinda ironic as my Indian name is Sambo Dogfucker.

Magnus the Skull Stamper at your service here! Two of my older sisters had their DNA analyzed and it showed traces of Spanish and Viking blood that we weren't aware of. Most likely from times they raided Scottish and Irish booty! I always hoped for some of that 2% Neanderthal blood that's out there, but I'll settle for Viking!

Sven the Elk Shish-Kebbaber

No matter what else,I'm a Biffer. I suppose nothing else really matters. How can a Viking Biffer be taken seriously?

According to the DNA test I have major Neanderthal blood.

Ragnar Wolf Wrestler

Sven the Appendix Slayer

I went to school with a guy that must have been a Viking...

We all called him Needle Dick the Bug Fugger.

Alrick the Wolf Hammerer

So far you win.

Jari the Monkey Shishkebbaber

Thorfast the Sword Slinger


Trump's is: Dagfin the Bone Wrencher . . . sounds about right.

I’ll go ahead and do Deflave’s

Thorfast the Cock Catapulter.

Leif Elk-Farter

Jari Ox Eater

Magnus the finger farter.

We'll Never Winasuperbowl

Cnut the skull-splitter. That is not c u n t!

Thunder Cock

Jari the Ear Catapulter

Astrid the Raven Throttler - She
Jarl the Wolf Wrangler - me

yours, tex

My wife's grandmothers actual name was Astrid.

Ed the PuzzySlayer

Thorfast the Finger Stapler.........BTDT!

Sven the skull kababer

Jari the Monkey Catapulter

Why do you ask Two Dogs Phouching?

Sven OxGrinder

I think I'll keep it. Viking blood runs thru my veins anyway.

ragnar brainthrottler

Dagfin the elk slayer. Haven't slain one since 2012. Should get on that.

Ragnar brain mangler

Wife picked hers...

Lara Spear Impaler

Magnus Elkgrinder.

Geez if you wanted to know everyone's birthdate why didn't you just ask?