Not new but still fun:



You can retire to Phoenix , Arizona where

1. You are willing to park three blocks away from your house because you found shade
2. You've experienced condensation on your rear-end from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door at 500 degrees.
6. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

OR

You can retire to California where...
1. You make over $450,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
5. The four seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud and Drought.

OR

You can retire to New York City where..
1 You say, "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
5 You've worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car.)
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

OR

You can retire to Minnesota where...
1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. Halloween costumes must fit over parkas.
3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.
6. The highest level of criticism is "He is different,”” She is different," or "It was different!"

OR

You can retire to South Carolina where...

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2 ”Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either: "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder.”
6. You can say anything about anyone, as long as you say, "Bless his heart” at the end!

OR

You can move to Colorado where...

1.You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, so he stops at the day care center.
3 A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4 The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

OR

You can retire to Nebraska or Iowa where..

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day
4. You end sentences with a preposition; "Where's my coat at?"

OR

FINALLY, you can retire to Florida where...
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2 All purchases include a coupon of some kind - even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist, or orthopedist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.

You sound very well traveled.

All of 'em pretty fffukked up places to live, if you want a life. The only one I would pick, and only in the most dire straights, is Minnesota, and that's only because the Democrats would be too ffffukkin' cold to get out and oversee your life.

I pick Florida!

Florida AKA - God’s Waiting Room

There are a lot worse places than Florida but wait until the next Gillum gets elected, things will change instantly & they’re not coming back.

I got a kick out of the $3000 bike one a $500 car. That must have been written a while ago, $3000 won’t even get you a mid range mountain bike today. I’ve got a friend that spent $17,000 on his bike.

Colorado ain’t that bad, especially Western Colorado. Yet.

WTF, it's made of platinum?

Mostly titanium I think.

I thought the $17,000 amount for a bike was way unimaginable, but a quick search on the internet shows it is not at all out of the question. Always something to learn on the 24 hr cf.

You can have every one of those dang places.

I will pass.

After years of travel, the more I deal with cities and people, the more I like being in the middle of nowhere.

This is my idea of neighbors:










One of these days I hope to live at the cabin full time.

Maybe go to town once every couple months for a grocery run. If I absolutely HAVE to.

Is there a spring nearby?

For me water is DEEP, as my property is on a mountain pass. The neighbor went 400 feet to hit the aquifer, but it is great water, which is to be expected.

Good looking setup Mackay Sagebrush!

Thank Jim

But the last pic is just a pic of the area. My cabin is is a big sagebrush basin. Great views though.





Lots of nice country around.




and it is about 25 miles either way to a small town, neither of which has even a thousand people in it.

Great little county, Ranch/Ag, and hunting/tourist based economy for the most part.

Not a bad place to drop off the map as far as I am concerned.

I had to read it twice before I sputtered my beer.

It is some very nice area. Been over that way with a buddy that lives in Rigby. Mackay's area and Birch Crk area. Awesome country.

I'm destined to spend the rest of my life in Iowa. whoopee.

kwg

Mackay, "The Warden" thinks you're still in too crowded of an area!

Macky,

Isn't there a muzzle loader elk hunt still running out that way. I'm thinking about going after an elk this Friday and Saturday. I still haven't bought a tag yet because I was still recovering from having an Achilles reattached during the earlier hunts. I can walk a little bit now and I'm thinking about elk. I live in Rigby these days.

Bb

Given the choice, that's about where I'd be if I couldn't find a similar area in the Delaware Mountains in Texas. I'll hopefully retire in the next three or four years, but I just don't see either option in the cards. Geeze, I don't wanna live out my life in this phugging place!

At least Florida is warm! We've got 5" of snow on the ground in Northern Colorado!

It’s just about 90* here today, which is on the very warm side of warm, but we’re supposed to get a “cold” front here and by the weekend it will be in the high 70’s. Winter clothing here consists of a long sleeve t-shirt and running shoes instead of flip flops. I’m born and raised in S FL, as is my Dad, but my wife and I have been seriously talking about moving northward to somewhere like E Tennessee or W NC, like everyone else who is fleeing the mess down here. Someplace where there’s hunting and some space. If I had my way, I’d go to WY or Idaho as I’ve spent a lot of time out there and really look forward to moving there someday. For the short term I’ll just continue driving sportfish boats in tournaments until I can’t take it any more and need some seasons, then off to Tennessee for us.

Craig

I spent about $17,000 on a bike a few yrs ago - of course it came with a 1584cc V-twin engine, 6 speed transmission, a fair amount of chrome, but no platinum unless its in the spark plugs.

Well, my plan is to enjoy most all the areas of the country when I retire. Bought this little place in Florida a little over a year ago, and fund a decent job to go woth it. Once I'm done however, plan on using this place as a home base and traveling with a medium sized camping trailer to visit friends and family in the Northern states during the Summer months for Walleye fishing, and after Fall and hunting season is over, return to Florida for fishing and oysters during the Winter months!


Might even stop by and visit my buddy Mackay in Idaho!

What else does a bachelor and two dogs need?


Frog---OUT!

Probably carbon fiber. $17,000 is a bit much for Mtn bike. You can get a very top of the line one for only about $10,000 with a carbon wheelset.

Sounds like home.

It may be, I'm not sure since I've never seen the bike. I do remember the number he told me though. He had it custom built from a high end fabricator.

I guess it's kind of like rifle loonies. Once you get to a certain point you want what you want and are willing to pay for it. He's not an extravagant guy, he's a divorced guy that lives in a modest house in Tuscon and doesn't drive a fancy car or truck. He works with me as an airline pilot, he makes good money but doesn't blow it. His big hobby is riding plus he likes to bird hunt so every fall he goes home to Iowa for a few weeks to hunt with some old friends, the rest of the year he's usually riding his bike around Tuscon.

I'm sure most can relate, he saved up for something he really wanted and went all out on it to make it the way he wanted. It brings him a lot of enjoyment and he's earned it so why not?

It's a pretty lame store that doesn't.