My sister in law and her husband were over. They've been married 30 years. We are talking about that when she rears up and says, " I don't know if there will be any more! I caught him looking at porn on the computer. That's like cheating!"

So we go one talking for a few minutes and I said, " I don't mean to pry, but how long has it been since you and Butch had sex?" Butch spouts out "Nine years!" Then I said to Linda, " Linda, if that is true then it seems to me that you broke the marriage covenant nine years ago and he is just reacting to it."

She stormed off to the kitchen and my wife followed. I could hear some excited talk, then she said, " Butch, it's time to go." So butch gets up and shakes my hand to leave, Linda didn't even look at me.

Diana comes in a few minutes later a bit mad at me, " You didn't have to say that to her!" she says. I simply replied, " Just telling the truth sweetheart."

Great, fuuckthatcrazybitch, I’d have been found me some peuzzy well before nine years, and told her yippie kiyo mutha.fugga!

Poor ph ucking butch 9 yrs without pussy [bleep]..

Just out of curiosity, how old are they and do they have health issues?

I take it from your question, there is nothing keeping them from doing it in the past 9 years?

Your a good BIL

This!

9 years, good grief.....most would have bailed long ago. She should be thankful that only porn has been his release.

Shes lucky.

How is she gonna threaten to withhold something shes been withholdin for 9yrs? SMFH they are a breed apart

Confucius say;
Man always in doghouse, soon go to cathouse.

Airing their dirty laundry to the rest of the family...

Doesn't put out...

Won't hear the truth...

Call your BIL and tell him he has one chance to get out clean, then give him the number of a good divorce lawyer.

Yep, who wants to hear about that crap.
I pitty Butch, she sounds like a piece of work.

^ this.

Hopefully you gave her something to think about by speaking the truth. Sounds like you care about them so maybe she’ll hear it.

My brother in law was in a somewhat similar situation. His wife at the time was as cold as a dead fish. He eventually divorced her when she found out (I think he just flat out told her) he was having an affair with a girl .......in China! He was over there on business and she turned him inside out. His mom, my mother in law, was shocked. First person in the family to divorce. The family’s image and status in the community was destroyed! Dear Lord she was about to die.

He told his mom and anybody who would listen that they hadn’t had sex in six years. She wouldn’t even hold his hand, hug him...nothing. Told my wife I’m not surprised in the least....she wanted all the benefits of marriage but with none of the commitment. I cautioned my wife that if any wife denies her husband even the very basics of affection, he will stray...even if he has to go all the way to China to get it. I then quoted the comedian Ron White to her...”I’m a pretty good dog, but if you don’t pet me every so often, I’m not staying on the porch.” That’s very true.

Been married 38 years to her....she knew what I was talking about all along.

As my good friend Hubba is wont to say, "If not for pu$$y there would be a ten cent bounty on each of them".

Yup. Truth is they were done a long time ago.

Say it like it is!

Age is a non-starter. At 59 years myself, it ain't what it used to be, but it's damn good! I know 70+ old guys that at least SAY they get some.
And if they got married at 30 she cut him off at age 51.

As you say, unless somethings physically broke that's all just wrong. She's lucky he didn't leave her skanky self 8 years ago.

We don't know that. We only know it's been 9 years since he got into her! I hope he's been wearing out his secretary and that she was a former Hooters calendar girl.

Some of the crazy a$$ things wonder why they are treated like they are.

If not his tank should be full of glue.

This ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Tell him to run, 'cause now she's gonna make someone pay for insulting her.

No man has ever divorced a woman that gave a daily BJ.

We did a couple of counseling sessions a few years back (some past demons crept up on us, better now). Therapist ( a woman) asked if we communicated, yes, we talk all the time. Then she asked if we still had sex, yes all the time, like a couple of spider monkeys. She said "good, if you don't talk and you don't have sex, you're done. You can overcome pretty much anything else." We've been married 18 years come July. We've never not enjoyed each others company.

I think a lot of dudes bring it on themselves. If their high school girlfriend ran around on them, they think if a woman enjoys sex, she's a slut, so they marry a dead fish and wonder why they don't get any. Or, they sit in front of the TV ignoring their wife and getting fat. Then wonder why their spouse doesn't want a 40 year old, drunk, 300 lb, diabetic wallowing around on top of her trying to work with half-a-hard-on. Go figure.

Wife came in one day after we had been married about a year telling me how a couple of ladies at work were discussing how their husbands only got it about twice a year and how lucky I was. I knew who they were and replied that their husbands were knocking a little off elsewhere. That reply pissed her off and she proceeded to tell me what an awful person I was.
About a year later, she came in telling me that these two unfortunate ladies were in the middle of divorces because their husbands were cheating on them! I simply grinned and said "no sh**". She was pissed off all over again, but mostly because she knew I was right. She's a very bright girl..........

"I know a girl who lives on the hill, she won't do it but her sister will...."

ZZ Top

Very good!

Yep. Not married for 9 years.

Matthew

and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man (OR WOMAN) separate.”

There's some story about granny telling granddaughter about how to keep a man happy and close: "Keep his stomach full and his balls empty."

She probably wants him to be a real man, in which case he would have left 9 years ago.

Dat needed to be said a little over 8 years and 51 weeks ago. I wonder what she thought she was gonna hold back.

I have a neighbor that is a good friend to many. A guy she worked with told her he and his wife hadn't had sex in over six months. She told the guy "If she's not banging you she is someone else"! She was right.

I'm just wondering what kind of pussy is that you could sleep next to for 9 years but not bother to get.

Stinky.

Why would you sleep next to one?

"she likes to boogie"

Because no one ever married one.

Seriously.
If she owns this, I own that.

you should have sex with your wife every time renew your driver license.

That would be all some guys would ever get...

Look, I've seen all sorts of arrangements, so I'm not going to judge.

However, when the SIL starts mouthing off about her husband's interest in porn, it took things to a whole new level. That was highly inappropriate.

Wife #1, Satan, used to pull tricks like that. Porn was never an issue. However, she'd wait until we were all gathered for a family event like Thanksgiving and then make some horrible accusation or dredge up some dreck from the deep past and try to make it the center of the event. Usually, this was due to her predilection for control and she used these events to punish me. My folks got wise to this really quick and started discounting her and the accusations. The truth of it is, growing up a good Methodist boy, I had been completely honest with my folks about just about everything, so nothing really surprised them. That's a good thing to remember, folks. Honesty IS the best policy. When she started making stuff up out of whole cloth, my family knew it was hooey.

This all escalated until she realized she wasn't getting any traction with my family, so she started trying it with others. Finally, she called the police one time and that sparked the end to the marriage. I won't go into details, but she was probably trying to get me killed.

1) This is the first shot across the bow of a really malignant situation.
2) Once this kind of crap starts flying, I see very little hope of this marriage being recovered.
3) If I were the BIL, I'd make an escape as soon as I could.

Bezos is going to pay billions to get him some.

Linda is a perfectly healthy 55 year old women. Her and butch have three children, all adults now.

My wife and I are in a similar situation. Except my wife is physically and mentally disabled. Hard for a woman that is in physical pain, can't breath and is riding a roller coaster between depression and mania to get much into sex. Humping off a piece without her being into it does not interest me.

Butch lives in involuntary celibacy ( I don't know if he's getting any strange) I do not. In my case I have assumed the role of caregiver and even father with my wife. Of course my wife has put on 85 pounds since she got sick, all around her belly. Not very appealing to roll the fat up to get to it. Frankly, I love her and always will, but I don't desire her sexually anymore.

And yes, the why is important. Linda has no physical impairments and no mental one's I'm aware of. And she is not generally a bitch to Butch either. Outside this you would think they are a loving couple. I don't know, maybe that something people learn, to act a part.

you did the absolute right thing.

I am a pastor. If that conversation had went down in a counseling session, I would have told her more or less the same thing.

In fact, I have said that same thing from the pulpit in a sermon on marital fidelity.
The Bible would even say that she has been in sin for the 9 years that she has refused sex with her husband.

Borderline Personality Disorder.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases...ty-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20370237

Causes

As with other mental health disorders, the causes of borderline personality disorder aren't fully understood. In addition to environmental factors — such as a history of child abuse or neglect — borderline personality disorder may be linked to:

* Genetics. Some studies of twins and families suggest that personality disorders may be inherited or strongly associated with other mental health disorders among family members.

A&F, have you noticed that whenever you bring situations like this to the campfire it turns out that you were right?

You are a good man and I have a lot of respect for you. Not that you need that.

Okay, one question here, what of BIL is a one pump chump? Did he hold up his end to her or is it all about him? Just saying, it's a two way street.

So would you say that denial of sexual concourse without cause, especially to exert power, is as much a breaking of the marital covenant as adultery?

Does the fact that she sets up conditions that tempt him to sin make her partly responsible for that sin?

Is this breach of the covenant consistent with sexual immorality, to be cause for Biblical allowed divorce?


By the way, I applaud you for bringing this scriptural truth to light in open sermons. Most pastors leap over or overly soften such things to avoid offending.

Well, when you cut through the bullchit you often find the truth. My problem is I don't tend to be diplomatic and avoid irritation. I'm told two things: I'm too "Black and white" a thinker and I am overly blunt.

Well, Butch lost his job back then and it seems the time line's converge. Linda had to go to work, which she still does. Butch did find another job but not making the kind of money he did before. I'm thinking like an $8,000 year cut. But he works every day and overtime when it's available.

She dont respect him after reading this last post....imo

Has anyone considered that she might have worms and Butch loves to fish?

If it's based on the hardship they faced when he was out of work and she had to start I'd say respect was not really there to begin with. In such dire times a woman is not to be a hindrance to a man, but his support. Since Butch lost his job for no other reason than the company went off shore there is nothing for her to be angry at. I mean he worked that job for 20 years and rose to a section manager, and then it's gone.

I got a girl she lives cross town
She's the one that really gets down when she boogie
She do the tube snake boogie
Well now, boogie, little baby
Boogie-woogie all night long
I got a gal, she lives on the block
She kinda funky with her pink and black socks, she likes to boogie
She do the tube snake boogie
Well now, boogie-woogie baby
Boogie-woogie all night long
I got a girl, she lives on the hill
She won't do it but her sister will when she boogie
She do the tube snake boogie
Well now, boogie, little baby
Boogie-woogie all night long
Blow your top, blow your top, blow your top!

Ok, TFF!

Maybe it stinks, that's why he's not hitting it.

On the flip side to that, maybe someone should read her 1 Corinthians where it says not to deprive one another.

I'd get rid of her.

Odds are high she is getting satisfaction somewhere else, either alone or with someone.

I admire those qualities. Many people do not it seems.

There could be a physical reason - look up dry vagina - happens around that age. Sex becomes excruciating for the woman.

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Replens-...s1ImC4AIVGrjACh1VYA18EAQYAiABEgIly_D_BwE

Yeah, but also look up KY Jelly. It's an easy fix.

. . . or what Mathman found.

Personally, prefer Marmite over that Kentucky Jelly stuff. It tastes better on toast, don't ya know.

A&F.....I respect and admire the true dedication you have to your wife inspite of the medical and psychological problems she suffers from. Till death do us part, in sickness and in health....those are the vows I took before God and my family and I will stick to those vows until I draw my last breath.

9 days is pushing it in my world but 9 years...no fugging way.

11 years in my case. "Till death do us part" may not be so far in the future for us. Either her due to her COPD and such, or me with a heart attack since I am under incredible stress doing this and being a corrections officer. Either way, "Till death do us part" was my vow and I will stand by it. That includes being faithful regardless. I set my mind to it, that is the way it will be. Though I have been tempted to wander, and have had the opportunity, I didn't and won't.


But I have to admit that in those three instant opportunities I often wish I did. I'm glad I didn't because I know what guilt does to me. And no, I can't justify my actions based on her. My actions are my actions and I am responsible 100% for them. No diverting blame.

You are a good man.

I wonder if the SIL doesn't claim to be too tired because she now works?

She now works 6 hours 4 days a week. Runs a cash register at Walmart. Butch works for a company that lays big pipe projects. He runs equipment and drives.

My SIL don't like me, i call her the creature from the black lagoon and halitosis. she gets in your face and its all you can do not to puke.

I think hes saying if your bil is a bit premature and doesnt put the grease where the squeek is to her satisfaction, then she ix justified in chopping off his action.

That excuse is, of course, as old as the world.
Example: you dont ring my bell like you used to, so its our new neigbbor who i will screw.

Wow, there could be all kinds of mental stuff going on with both of them. Her throwing out a slapper like that in front of family indicates a lot of tension built up there. Hope they work it out.

Mental illness of one form or other is rampant in North America.

Most of the females on my wife's side are on antidepressant medications of one form or other, but there was sexual abuse by an uncle that touched most of them. They don't forget and don't handle it well.

A couple of years ago, I was very close to slipping into depression, dealing with nerve pain, swelling joints and not being able to what I wanted to do with my family. It seemed a high percentage of my days and nights, especially when i wasnt working, i was in pain for hours at a time. Didnt matter what i did. I often spent my days off curled up in a ball on my bed as waves of pain swept over me . I thank God that i had enough sense to talk to my doctor.

The doc referred me to a pain management clinic where I had a nurse as my case worker. I saw a different physiotherapist who tried different techniques, a counsellor, a kinesiologist, a pharmacist who specialized in pain meds and a doctor who specializes in chronic pain. I gained a little something from each of them, and together I made changes that has helped the pain and helped avoid depression. Not everyday is great, but I've lived with this since 2005. I am blessed in my life.

Help is out there, we just have to admit we need help and seek it out.

I feel for you, prayers sent. It must be hard, seeing those two with outwardly anyway, nothing to prevent a good marriage and the wife blowing it (not in a good way) because she's essentially a chunt. You're a good man.

What a stupid stupid biatch. He should dump HER

Story in my familiy was that back in the day, Great Grandmother (who was obviously a much younger and sharp woman) was asked by the younger women in the family what the secret to a long and happy marriage was. She supposedly told them about husbands "Keep their stomachs full and their peters empty".

Must admit, simple formula that sounds effective. Who says men are demanding?

had gone I am working on this one with my grandson now. You'll never use "had went."

Well if Butch isn't planning on divorce,the best thing for him is to find a hot divorced woman that wants sex,but really not interested in a serious relationship and bang each others brains out and then go back home.There really are a few women out there like that,though hard to find,but they are.

At least Butch is laying pipe somewhere.

And among us who has not perused a beaver book now and again? Men are just visual creatures.

Her’s was a simple, outright effort to embarrass the man in front of family. Ain’t no love there.

Now that's funny!!!

I would say that willfully (non-medical reasons) depriving one's spouse of sex would be grounds for divorce. It is a form of abandonment. It is desertion of a sort.

The sexual infidelity is still adultery, but the deprivation of sex makes the partner culpable of that adultery. IOW, an accomplice. That partner is guilty before God also.

I cannot say that refusal of sex is on the same level as sexual immorality, but I do believe it is grounds for divorce.

My feeling is that if one's spouse is refusing sex, then seek marital counseling. If she/he will not resume sexual relations, then file for divorce with cause (not a no-fault divorce). Then find a new mate. this order.

there are all sorts of lubes...... KY, coconut oil, Crisco, etc.



(just kidding about the Crisco)