The thread on tyre grooving by Brits reminded me of another British oddity: Transportation to Australia.

In the 1800s, if you were convicted of at least one of 19 crimes, you could be sentenced to transportation to the prison colony in Australia rather than being hung. Those 19 crimes were:


Grand Larceny, theft above the value of one shilling
Petty Larceny, theft under one shilling.
Buying or receiving stolen goods, jewels, and plate...
Stealing lead, iron, or copper, or buying or receiving.
Impersonating an Egyptian.
Stealing from furnished lodgings.
Setting fire to underwood.
Stealing letters, advancing the postage, and secreting the money.
Assault with an intent to rob.
Stealing fish from a pond or river.
Stealing roots, trees, or plants, or destroying them.
Bigamy.
Assaulting, cutting, or burning clothes.
Counterfeiting the copper coin...
Clandestine marriage.
Stealing a shroud out of a grave.
Watermen carrying too many passengers on the Thames, if any drowned.
Incorrigible rogues who broke out of Prison and persons reprieved from capital punishment.
Embeuling Naval Stores, in certain cases.


The one that curls my eyebrows is "Impersonating an Egyptian." You have to think, "What the...?"

Yeah Rocky! That one really jumped out at me too!!!

Right outta Monty Python.

I know! It was the catch all crime!!!

Magistrate; Constable!!! Why is this wretch before my bench???!!!??

Constable; ( Long pause) Ahhhhhhhh,,,,,;;,,,,, Mmmmmmm,,,,,, Impersonating an Egptian(?) your honor.

Magistrate; THE BASSTURD!!!! Off to the Antipodes with him!!!!

What happened if you just walked like an Egyptian?

https://youtu.be/Cv6tuzHUuuk

I wondered how long it would be before that showed up. Now I’ll be all day with that song living in my head...and walking funny.

Fun aside, the prison colony was as good as a death sentence. The guards and magistrates there were sadistic and capricious. You could get 500 lashes for an offense no worse than looking askance at a guard. That many lashes would strip all the meat off your back down to the bare rib bones - and deeper. The lashes were multi-stranded, knotted, and tipped with lead balls.

When England still controlled America, they got rid of a bunch of their criminals by sending them here as indentured servants. They were forced to work as virtual slaves for a fixed term, often 7 years. After that, if they returned to England, they got hung. After the revolution, they were out of a place to put their criminals so Australia became popular.

Benjamin Franklin was indentured to his brother for ten years, from age 11 to age 21. He was to receive no pay until the last year. If he ran away he could be put in prison. His brother beat him frequently. He did run away but was never caught.

Impersonating an Egyptian: being a gypsy. Here's a brief statement about it.

The Deplorable 's are the indentured servants of 2019


If we ever get another leftist in the Offal Office they will ship us to China for cheap labor and to harvest our organs.

Seems an awful long ways to send the trash?

What did you get for theft of exactly one shilling?

That makes sense!

Good catch. Living up to your handle. Only a math guy would fix on that!

IOW, stealing the king's deer. That one goes back a long way. Since England has long been all private land, poaching has always been a problem.

Yup, we were the dumping ground for Great Britain's criminals until the revolutionary war. Australia didn't get their first convict ships until 1787. It was easier and cheaper to send them to North America than all the way to the other side of the planet to Australia.