Mom came up to see us 4 years ago ( from her house in hutson wi) up till that time she or i called every sunday, while here she would repeat herself and i would tell her you said that allready and u cant say that anymore . Then she would go on all normal .....after that she was having a tough time remembering... after she left she called a couple times ...then she forgot ... since than 2,5 yrs ago ..she ended up in the right' n-home same as late father in law...she dont know where her phone is etc so she dont answer( this is per brothers etc) heck she has not used the phone cause she dont remember how ...but if faimly swings by and calls ..us she gets to yappen ...yeh some is repeated..in 30 days she will see me for the 1st time in 4 years , ON my birthday ..im the 1'st born ... im going to bring along a few pics of us.. that she use to like years ago ....damm..will she know me ? ...no one knows im headed back either... i have to stop half azz typing as i got something in my eye..

Holy cow ! I posted and the Dad thread was the next one down ...wow! ...rip

One thing I learned over time, there is no sense telling them they already said something, I just answer it multiple times. They will do it again because they just can't remember, but they are embarrassed by people telling them so.

Lost my Mom last July.

Just enjoy your time with her and let her say whatever she wants to...

We’ve been dealing with dad (my FIL) and Alzheimer’s. We’re at the end and the doctor thinks it’s time for hospice.

I have an idea of what you’re going through and as mentioned, telling them that they just said that doesn’t work. Dad’s personality has completely changed and now he’s losing that too. It’s damn tough seeing the ones we love get old and pass. At some point we knew that the only ones making memories were for us and we were determined to not just make good memories for our own selfish reasons but more importantly to show our children what unconditional love looks like. We want our children to understand what love and devotion looks like in reality. It’s not always easy or clean or perfect but we do the best we can with what we’re given.

Old pictures are a great idea. We found they really triggered memories for dad which brought him some peace and comfort in what has become a strange and sometimes scary world for him with his diminished comprehension and memory.

Enjoy your time with your mom and I hope you understand the potential for her to forget, even temporarily, some of the most important people and events in her life.

Pops is getting bad, talks in circles, about chit nobody gives a damn about.
Used to be kinda smart, now he's pretty much a babbling twat.
Its downright pathetic.
But he's always been different.
Does his own thing in his own little world, refuses, strongly refuses... to even try to learn anything new.
Been that way for decades.
Spoiled rotten youngest kid.
Think all that has conspired to take him down to a barely functioning level.
Makes up chit that never happened, boolsheet artist.
Thats the crap that p*sses me off.

I caught a lot of crap when my mom thought I was my dad sometimes.

Dad is in the same boat. 3 major strokes, and a bunch of small ones left him with very little memory.
Now, he got a urinary tract infection - the doc's say that is why he became even more confused, and combative.
They have to wake him up to feed him.

I'm afraid the end is near.

having dealt with the slow slide into dementia with a sister/and mother, you got it right.
it's enough sometimes that sometimes they still remember you.
My mother lived with us for 7 years during her slide down. couldn't figure out how to use a telephone, but knew to the day when the interest checks hit the mail box.

Like people have said!? Enjoy the time with your mom. I see myself going down the same road, and it’s frightening!!

We’ve been thru this illness three times now. If you have the chance to have conversations then you are blessed. Let them relate best they can and just know it’s always circular. But, that one time in several when they become lucid and near normal it’s incredible. Good luck. Stand strong.

Maybe, maybe not. Enjoy what you get, repeat or not.

Be sure to thank her for all that has done for you over time.
After all at some point you will not be able to.

My mom passed in 2013, she had an Alzheimer's diagnosis for 5-6 years before that. I'm the youngest of five and she always confused me with one of my older brothers, and would ask me things like whether I was going to re-enlist ( I was about 55 at the time). At the end she didn't really know who I was, but she knew I was family and she liked having me there.

So the truth is, it doesn't matter whether she knows who you are or not, or if she gets your name wrong. She'll enjoy your company, and you'll enjoy hers while you still can. That's all that really matters.

Don't argue with her, it won't help, don't tell he she is remembering things wrong, it won't help, if she is in a dementia care facility, show up at feeding time and help feed her. You will be doing some thing useful. The staff loves the extra help.

I've been down this road as many have. Good luck.

Just be yourself and be as patient as you can. That's all I got good luck to you and your mom.

All you can do is try.

[



quote=atvalaska]Mom came up to see us 4 years ago ( from her house in hutson wi) up till that time she or i called every sunday, while here she would repeat herself and i would tell her you said that allready and u cant say that anymore . Then she would go on all normal .....after that she was having a tough time remembering... after she left she called a couple times ...then she forgot ... since than 2,5 yrs ago ..she ended up in the right' n-home same as late father in law...she dont know where her phone is etc so she dont answer( this is per brothers etc) heck she has not used the phone cause she dont remember how ...but if faimly swings by and calls ..us she gets to yappen ...yeh some is repeated..in 30 days she will see me for the 1st time in 4 years , ON my birthday ..im the 1'st born ... im going to bring along a few pics of us.. that she use to like years ago ....damm..will she know me ? ...no one knows im headed back either... i have to stop half azz typing as i got something in my eye..

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My Dad had dementia. Don’t correct her, don’t argue, hold her hand or touch her when talking to her, play music that she enjoyed when she was younger.

Awakenings is good book to read to understand how the mind works and communication.

I didn't wonder with my Mom whether or not she knew who I was. I always told her. That way she wouldn't feel bad if she couldn't remember. Having a twin brother and her poor eyesight always gave me a good excuse to introduce myself when I entered a room, but the real reason was I didn't want her to feel bad if she wasn't sure.

Here is a short video by Dr. Natali Edmonds, who has a PhD in the psychology of working with patients who have degenerative neurological disorders. She's been working with dementia patients a long time. She also has many short videos on her site dealing with memory disorders.



This might give you an idea of what to expect.

Best of luck.

L.W.

As long as you know who she is you have done your part

very difficult situation that takes adjusting to in her presence. With my ma i was comforted in knowing she didn't have a problem in the world

My father, who turns 96 in a couple of months, has his memories and right now. Stuff that's happened in the last 8 months is pretty vague. He's fully capable of discussing things with you, but repeats stuff a lot, and you just have to be patient. The main thing seems to be that he wants reassurance that everything is being taken care of so he doesn't need to worry.

It was pretty clear he was slipping a bit for a couple of years, but the onset of full-blown dementia happened pretty quicky, and he was very difficult to deal with during the month or so that he went from living on his own, to the hospital, then recovery, and finally the nursing home.

I lost both my parents like that, my heart goes out to you.