at my house! No cooperation whatsoever!

Get back into the truck ! Lot lizards are still working !

If it's a small load, do it your self. If necessary, pour lots of beer on your hand prior to starting. For a threesome, pour beer on both hands.

Thanks for the great ideas!


"Maybe someday" I was told... She works at a hospital and isn't feeling like getting close. WTF?

Wiminns.....That’s how they roll. 😎

my wife is bored so I'm turning into Al Bundy over here now.

Imagine the college kids...
Deprived of campus nookie parade by the liberals who run the schools.
Sent to be locked down in the basement at their parents house...
Imagine what will happen when they are let loose!

And this is different than the past few decades in what way? There's a food that's been proved repeatedly to destroy a woman's sex drive- - - -it's called "wedding cake"!

Not a bad "problem" to have.


Clyde

Don't tell her where your getting it.

My buddy sez he uses a full body haz-mat suit, rubber gloves, face mask etc. during sex.
I said "How 'bout your partner?" He sez "What partner?".

I guess, I'm gonna take her fishing to mix things up a bit

It’s for your own good!

Sex??? What's that???

I mean it's not like I want intimacy or anything.

Yep. I wouldn't be going near my old lady right now if she worked in a hospital. Probably make her sleep out in the shed.

After a while, you will really begin to appreciate it!

Only have sex after a smoke and I gave them up 40 years ago. SOS!

The other day, someone said that he wondered how big the baby boom was going to be nine months from now.

Another guy said he wondered how many divorces there would be nine months from now.

A buddy sent me this yesterday

I have a good friend over in Louisiana who is a lawyer. I was speaking with him on the phone a couple of days ago and he was lamenting that his practice has all dried up since this Corona situation has started. Local judge in the Shreveport area has shut everything down. He did say that he expects divorce cases to rise dramatically as soon as the courts reopen.

I lowered my dignity and hopped on Skankagawea yesterday.
During daylight.

Hopefully that gets me outta next month.

You never struck me as the kinda guy that would keep a dog inside in the first place...good on you.

I’d never “appreciate” being denied some good lovin’ .....for me it’d be like being denied air. If that ever happens to me I’d rather eat a bullet. 😁 Luckily I’ve never had that problem with my beautiful wife. If anything, my experience with my sweetheart is 180* away from the OP’s.....I definitely lucked out with a gorgeous wife that is a perfect lady.....and a tiger. 😁

Good luck to all the born again virgins ....😂

That's funny, you always struck me as the kind of guy that would keep a pig in his bed and screw the shyt out of it every night. At least on the days your sister isn't around.

Mine is begging for a ride on me AND my bike. Not at the same time, fortunately....

hell it ain't so bad, that's where I've slept for the past 34 years......

Things must be getting bad everywhere. The local whorehouse here closed down last week. Sign on the front door says.............Beat it boys.

Bit hostile, just take the compliment. Sheesh

Damn hope this disease never hits this household.

She cannot cut you off, but she can limit the supply!

Shortly after the wedding I pointed at my dik and said to the wife "If you are going to own this, I'm going to own that" and pointed at her crotch.

Mine is working from home, it’s been NICE!!!!!!!!

Yeah, you too. Notice I didn't say snake and daughter. sheesh.

The bike could just be parked in the garage. Just sayin’.

There's always that.

True, if I HAD a garage. As it is, Bob and Carol across the street may not approve...maybe just wrap up in a tarp....

Not at my house! I knocked off a chunk last night and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna knock off another chunk tonight! Ahhh, the joys of being married to a younger woman!

Being held is just as good as a tug and a poke. Said a woman. 😂😎

If she leans over and grabs her ankles you could stand up and keep your faces about 6' apart, since apparently that's where the disease transfer happens.

I told my ol lady last night to skip the pre foreplay and just get to the foreplay.😆

Thanks for understanding...

She can block one vagina, she can't block them all.

Thankfully each has three.

Ever since food took the place of sex and I put the mirror over the kitchen table life hasn’t been the same.

Especillay after eating wedding cake.

I don’t worry about it much. The one in the summer is usually pretty good!

Montana is getting locked down at 00:00 Saturday. Are Asian massage parlors essential services? Seems logical.

Lot lizards? I have heard some strange terms for those types of women, but that is definitely new to me.

Term has been around since at least the 1970's, maybe longer. miles

Preach Brother! I sleep early, work early. Wife loves to come in and ask if I need help falling asleep!

How does this crisis effect Montana’s sheep?😂

Have some of you looked in the mirror? Can you blame her?

Had a little good luck this AM

This is highly offensive..... I ain't no bottle of fine wine!

You need a body condom or three. Used in combination with a mask they are 99.9875% effective in stopping the transmission of Covid-19, halitosis, evaporation and the transmission of pheromones.

If we knew the true cost of that sex we'd all hire outside help!

Tell her (?) that the Government says all ESSENTIAL life functions are NOT banned ! !

Just like liquor stores I imagine

Yeah, dispense with the kissy, kissy stuff, but, stay "connected" !

Bring a rubber.

Congratulations on your recent marriage.

Keno too?

Arizona the governor declared gunstores and golf courses essential services