i'll start it off.


Why were there only 5,000 mexican soldiers at the battle of Alamo?

They only had 2 vans.

Why don't mexicans do BBQ?

Beans slip through the grill.

How many mexicans does it take to grease a 1972 ford pickup?

Just one if you hit him square.

2 gators swimming in the river when one hears some noise upstream.

Gator 1.
"Hey, I think I hear another batch of little mexicans swimming over yonder, wanna go eat one?"

Gator 2.
"hell no. My ass still burns from the last one."

Why do mexicans like cars with small steering wheels?

so they can drive with handcuffs.

Those are great fellas! Keep em coming!!

What do ya call 10 mexicans standing in line?

A spicket fence.

Click the start button on the "play sample" in the blue area.

http://www.themadmusicarchive.com/song_details.aspx?SongID=17158

What do ya call a mexican prostitute with no legs.

Consuelo.

One day there was three wetbacks trying to go to the U.S. One of the wetbacks told the other wetbacks.�Chinga We gotta learn some English� So they decided to learn the colors.

So as a week passes by the 1 wetback goes and says�I�m going to US i�m a US citizen�So the officer says i want you to give me a sentence using three colors Orange,Red,Blue.So the wetback tells him..� An orange is orange an apple is red and the sky is blue.So the officer says ok go ahead.

So the 2nd wetback goes and says�I�m going to US i�m a US citizen� �So the officer says i want you to give me a sentence using three colors White,Black And Brown. So the wetback.Says �You are white I am brown and he is black.So the officer says go ahead.

So the 3rd wetback says �I�m going to US i�m a US citizen� �So the officer says i want you to give me a sentence using three colors Green,Pink and Yellow.But as the wetback says�s his sentence he gets nervous because he didn�t practice those colors so the officer.Tells him No sorry but you took to long im taking you back. But The wetback,Says STOP STOP. WATCHA���The phone goes green green I pink it up and say yellow.

What do you get when you cross a mexican with an octopuss?


I don't know but it could pick lettuce good.

what do you call 20 mexicans in a pool?


bean dip

If you see five black guys pushing a car , it's Black Power .

Five white guys pushing a car is White Power .

Five mexicans pushing a car ?

Grand theft , auto .

Maybe it�s just me but these are in poor taste.

An illegal alien is a travesty to all true Americans, but the jokes are a little over the top.

I don�t have time to besmirch any member of the human clan.

I love a joke as much as anyone but this is in poor taste. Fire away but this is in bad taste, I won�t be participating in the raciest joking.

Joel

Hey Joel,

c�jale usted !

Wouldn't have wasted that many words and time if those were my feelings.... like they don't tell jokes about us either....

Politically incorrect, but funny.

What do you call four mexicans who can't swim?


Quatro Sinco

What do you call two mexicans playing basketball?


Juan on Juan!

Please,
take this somewhere else. It doesn't belong in the Campfire.

They're not racist jokes, they're nationality jokes.

Besides, they're just jokes.

the title of this thread is pretty self explan. why did you even open it if you are offended? meatball.

I work with a guy that's of Hispanic roots. (Mexican) He pisses & moans more about the "Mexican" problem more than I do....

The best Wetback joke I ever heard was from George Lopez.

One scene in his show, his wife is going to take the daughter to swimming lessons. And George quips:

"Swimming lessons? Why does she need to learn to swim? We are ALREADY here!"

Why don't Mexicans marry Blacks ?

The kids would be too lazy to steal .

See , I capitalized the races . Does that make it more palatable for you PC types ?

When sis and bro in law built their house they had a couple friends originally from mexico working for them. (legal immigrants, btw) Bro in law and nephew are here fishing this weekend so I asked if he knew any good jokes and we read this thread. He said he wishes he could remember them, those 2 mex's had the best and funniest wetback jokes he ever heard.

I believe him. Best pole jokes I ever heard were told by poles. Best bohemian jokes, by bohems. etc.

They're just jokes.
George Carlin was right.
"I believe you can joke about anything."
I'll add to it. Not only can, but should. People need to get over themselves...

here's two:

There are three people at a bar. One is Mexican, one is Iraqi and the other is American. The Mexican gets a beer drinks it then he throws the glass in the air takes out his pistol and shoots it to pieces. He says in Mexico glass is so cheap we do not need to drink out of same glass twice. Then the Iraqi gets a beer and drinks it. He also throws it in the air and takes out his AK47 and shoots it to pieces. He says in Iraq we have so much sand that we too do not need to drink out of same glass twice. Then the American gets a beer and drinks it and throws the glass up. He then shoots the Mexican and Iraqi and catches the glass and says, "In America we have so many illegal immigrants that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice.

And for the law enforcement crowd:

How are a Mexican and a cue ball alike?
The harder you hit it, the more English you get out of it.

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons?
Hose-A and Hose-B.

A small border town is infested with birds & the town has tried everything to get rid of them.One day at the town hall meeting,an old timer pipes up & says ,"I can get rid of all these birds,but it'll cost $100 k,and if you ask one question about my service,be prepared to pay $200k"
So later the councilman gets the comittee to agree & try this fella.
The guy shows up with a blue pidgeon & lets it go,out of its cage.It flies up,all the birds follow & leave.Blue bird comes back & gets in his box.
The councilman is freaked out & floored.Hands the old timer a check for $200 k & asks,"Do you have a blue Mexican ?"

Geez, I'm german/czech descent and laugh my azz off at those jokes, and I'm an Aggie at heart and those are good too..

I'd say instead of taking it elsewhere, get a life.