The "what is your favorite deer rifle and caliber" thread got me to thinking about if my rifles could talk, would they argue about being the favorite. Maybe it would go like this:

Wby 30/378 - "I'm the favorite because I'm his biggest and fastest and have one of his best deer to my credit". The post 64 Model 70 30/06 says "maybe faster but you are not bigger and by the way he has shot more deer with me than any of you." The Marlin 30/30 speaks up "true but when he was 12 yrs I shot his first deer. None of you can ever claim to be his first".

Then the 6.5/300 wby says "don't forget how fast I am. I am one of the latest and greatest in the 6.5 craziness." That's when 264 mag speaks up and says "first off you are only 100 or 150 fps faster than me. Don't any of you forget I am the one he picks up when he really wants it done long range. No doubt I am his favorite."

About this time the S&W 1500 7mag speaks - "I have listened to all of you and you are full of it. I am the favorite, first off his dad gave me to him, and while true ole post 64 30/06 has taken more deer, it is not that many more than me and none of you can say you have shot an elk - but I can." Then the M70 Win 7 mag says well I can't really say I am the favorite, but I know I am special. I belonged to his dad. He made a big deal about taking me hunting and shooting a deer with me."

Then the Ruger 270 says "which one of you does he grab when it's nasty and wet? Which one of you does he leave in the truck on occasions? Which one of you does he loan to hunting clients who can't hit the side of a barn with their own rifles? It's me....the favorite." Suddenly the new Browning 25/06 couldn't keep his bolt shut. "I think I am the favorite - look how much load development he is doing with me, I am young and brand new." That's when all of the other rifles say in unison "shut up rookie, you don't even know what blood looks like, you haven't even been in the woods yet."

A few more minutes of arguing goes on when the old Pre-64 Model 70 finally speaks. "Boys, I hear all of you but you are forgetting one very important thing - ME. Yeah my little brother over there has more deer with him but don't forget I belonged to his father. That means I have taken more deer than many of you put together. You see I was the only rifle for many years. When his father passed away last year, who did he take hunting? It was me. Who has he made the promise to that he will hunt with until he gets that deer he saw last fall? It is me. Which one of us does he put in a place of honor? It is me. I was his dad's first deer rifle - every time he pulls me out, he has memories of all those hunts of years gone by."

With that - the gun safe became very quiet. What else could be said? All of them were important and each had a special place in his safe. Maybe he didn't have a favorite, maybe all of them were his favorites. The next day he comes to the safe - opens it and greets all the rifles - "good morning guys, going to do a little shooting today" and with that he grabs the little 10/22 - "gonna take my granddaughters".

If my guns start talking they are not to be trusted. Don't believe any of their stories. Especially anything involving blown easy shots. And if they say a thing about any grassy knolls they are outright lying.

LOL…Mart, that’s the first thing I thought of! I can’t believe this idiot just missed that buck! Please someone buy me and get me away from this dummy! After accumulating guns over the years, and only using a select few mission specific favorites the last 15 years or so, here’s how I think it would go…the faves would say “thanks boss, I won’t let ya down” to me, and say “I told ya he’d pick me” to the rest of them screaming “Pick me, Pick me, I was just kidding when I called you an idiot and a dummy!” When I gave my Ruger .280 to my daughter after she killed her first deer with it, I swear it would have said…”awww I knew you weren’t as bad as we made you out to be. Great make you smile kind of topic.

Doc_Holidude

Um no. Just no

My rifles would not have much to say regarding missed shots but my shotguns would have had their vocal cords ripped out pronto!

What I would love to hear from my rifles would be what they had done in their lifetimes. I have a couple dozen military rifles of various countries ranging from the mid-1890s through WWII that appear to have seen some service. Whether those dings were from combat or raw recruits fumbling them, the tales would be interesting.

Most of my sporting rifles are prior to 1950 and might have some good tales to tell. An 1876 Winchester would be my first pick but several other rifles may have seen more use. The drillings and especially a Cape Gun would be at the top of the list too, maybe I could finally identify what the rifle barrel is chambered in.

This!

I prefer old rifles. Most of mine are between 50 and 125 years old. I would love to hear their stories from before I got them!

Glad they can’t talk

"Yet again he got excited, jerked the trigger, rolled his shoulder into my recoil, AND peeked over top of the scope.........."

Happens most often when I've been bird hunting a bunch, get lazy shooting form, and unexpectedly have a running coyote about to get out of sight.

Mine would say sure is dark in here! I wonder if he’s ever coming back.

M700 7mm Remington Magnum: "That ungrateful bastard, I'm stronger, faster, lighter, see 40% bigger, got him a regular deer and elk for decades and now this dark back corner is all that I get. I only hit him between the eyes just that once and now every damn time he takes my little brother the 7mm-08 out hunting! Even the .300 Savage gets to go now and then. It just isn't fair. Retirement sucks."

Nobody really needs me...until they need me