Father Murphy walked into a pub and said to the first Marine he met, "Do you want to go to heaven? " The Marine said, "I do Father. " The priest said, "Leave this pub right now! " He then approached a second Marine. "Do you want to got to heaven? " "Certainly, Father," was the Marine's reply. "Then leave this den of Satan! " said the priest. Father Murphy then walked up to an old Sgt Maj and asked, "Do you want to go to heaven? " The Sgt Maj replied: "No, I don't Father. " The priest looked him right in the eye and said, "You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven? " The Sgt Maj smiled, "Oh, when I die! Why...yes Father. [bleep], I thought you were getting a working party together to go right now! "