Top 10 Country Western songs:
10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But .......
9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman, But I Woke Up with a Few
8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin’
6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win
5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Just Like You're Still Here
4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Miss Him
3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger
2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer
And the Number One Country & Western song is…
1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Butt All Day

Those are great song titles.

Put The Saddle On The Stove Ma - I'm Ridin' The Range Tonight

My stomach hurt. No. 1 and No. 5 are hall of fame songs.

If my nose was running money, I'd blow it all on you.