Washington State Caution - 05/15/22
Washington State Caution:
In regards to all the people wanting to move here from Oregon, and California as well as many other heavily populated cities across the country, and for those just wanting to come to visit:
Before you come to Washington you must be aware and understand what exactly is happening here.
Especially around the rural areas, just about all of the middle of the State. There's a housing shortage, rent has tripled, and folks are vacationing here in record numbers...
So, if you plan on moving here, or just plan on vacationing on our Rivers, and Lakes, High country Mountains, or just Hiking this summer, I think you should know that Wolf Spiders, Fire ants and Bedbugs have infested Hotels and Motels across the area due to dryer than usual weather.
The woods will eat you alive with Ticks and Chiggers.
Our lakes are full of Gators, Fresh water Sharks, and creepy old guys wearing speedos along with huge Bald Bagles that are known to snatch small children and animals.
Our rivers are full of drunks in tubes peeing themselves while the Banjo Players lay await in the bushes.
Both Cougar and Panthers have eaten many domesticated animals and possibly some small children.
The local Bear, Wolf and Coyote population are all 'in heat' and think your wife/girlfriend is really hot.
Snakes... don't even get me started on the water Snakes, From Copper Headed Moccasins here, and the deadly Diamond Back Rattler Cobra.
The poison Ivy, Sumac and Poison Oak have overtaken all other vegetation. These plants can cause extreme diarrhea and uncontrollable vomiting.
We have had Bear sightings at every park and town and they are after your picnic baskets! and some Cougars have been spotted napping in Motel rooms, and Bars.
Watch out for the Jackalopes, they have been extremely aggressive this season, and their population is growing throughout the entire Columbia Basin Area.
We have Silverback Gorillas invading our parks, and it's their mating season too. Porcupines are "stabbing" small children should they dare to utilize the local playground equipment.
Skunks have made their way here and multiplied at unprecedented rates, and wander all the local Campgrounds in packs, looking mostly for Beer.
Murder Hornets!!! We've got great black clouds of Murder Hornets, and swarms of Giant Crickets, and even some West African Grasshoppers that spit Skoal Wintergreen, and Straight Copenhagen!
Scorpions have now migrated here and have been congregating in massive quantities under rocks, logs, wooden steps, automobiles, and Tarantulas are now stealing peoples food and biting like crazy.
I'm pretty sure all private Tiger owners (we had a jump in them after Tiger King debuted on Netflix) have released their big Cats into the streets of our Cities and Towns, as they are spotted almost daily.
Head Lice can now fly, and we have Vampire Bats!
Plus, don't even try to forget about Sasquatch, they've been seen everywhere here lately.
Vaccinated? What's that? Most of us had our Baby shots but that's about it....
I hear Texas, Florida, North Carolina and Virginia are really nice though, especially this time of year!.... 👍🏼
In regards to all the people wanting to move here from Oregon, and California as well as many other heavily populated cities across the country, and for those just wanting to come to visit:
Before you come to Washington you must be aware and understand what exactly is happening here.
Especially around the rural areas, just about all of the middle of the State. There's a housing shortage, rent has tripled, and folks are vacationing here in record numbers...
So, if you plan on moving here, or just plan on vacationing on our Rivers, and Lakes, High country Mountains, or just Hiking this summer, I think you should know that Wolf Spiders, Fire ants and Bedbugs have infested Hotels and Motels across the area due to dryer than usual weather.
The woods will eat you alive with Ticks and Chiggers.
Our lakes are full of Gators, Fresh water Sharks, and creepy old guys wearing speedos along with huge Bald Bagles that are known to snatch small children and animals.
Our rivers are full of drunks in tubes peeing themselves while the Banjo Players lay await in the bushes.
Both Cougar and Panthers have eaten many domesticated animals and possibly some small children.
The local Bear, Wolf and Coyote population are all 'in heat' and think your wife/girlfriend is really hot.
Snakes... don't even get me started on the water Snakes, From Copper Headed Moccasins here, and the deadly Diamond Back Rattler Cobra.
The poison Ivy, Sumac and Poison Oak have overtaken all other vegetation. These plants can cause extreme diarrhea and uncontrollable vomiting.
We have had Bear sightings at every park and town and they are after your picnic baskets! and some Cougars have been spotted napping in Motel rooms, and Bars.
Watch out for the Jackalopes, they have been extremely aggressive this season, and their population is growing throughout the entire Columbia Basin Area.
We have Silverback Gorillas invading our parks, and it's their mating season too. Porcupines are "stabbing" small children should they dare to utilize the local playground equipment.
Skunks have made their way here and multiplied at unprecedented rates, and wander all the local Campgrounds in packs, looking mostly for Beer.
Murder Hornets!!! We've got great black clouds of Murder Hornets, and swarms of Giant Crickets, and even some West African Grasshoppers that spit Skoal Wintergreen, and Straight Copenhagen!
Scorpions have now migrated here and have been congregating in massive quantities under rocks, logs, wooden steps, automobiles, and Tarantulas are now stealing peoples food and biting like crazy.
I'm pretty sure all private Tiger owners (we had a jump in them after Tiger King debuted on Netflix) have released their big Cats into the streets of our Cities and Towns, as they are spotted almost daily.
Head Lice can now fly, and we have Vampire Bats!
Plus, don't even try to forget about Sasquatch, they've been seen everywhere here lately.
Vaccinated? What's that? Most of us had our Baby shots but that's about it....
I hear Texas, Florida, North Carolina and Virginia are really nice though, especially this time of year!.... 👍🏼