Home Forums Miscellaneous Topics Humor, Jokes, and Riddles What Pet Should I Get?

At the store today, I heard a little boy asking his dad what kind of pet he should get. There's also a Dr. Suess book by the same name. I was inspired and this came out.

What Pet Should I Get?

What pet should I get?
Not a used one, I'll bet!

Not one that's too old.
Or one that's been rolled.
Or been bought and been sold
Or that's covered in mold!

What pet should I get?
Not one from the vet!

Not one that's been fixed
Or been scraped, burned or mixed
Or had multiple owners
Or can't get a boner!

What pet should I get?
Not one that's a threat!

With big gnarly teeth
Or whose first name is Keith
Or has sharp, hairy claws
Or self locking jaws

What pet should I get?
Not one that will sweat!

That will stink up my room
Or needs a big broom
Or will always presume
That it sleeps in my room!

What pet should I get?
No one that's all wet!

That smells like wet dog
Or a pond full of frogs
Or a herd of hot hogs
In a smelly peat bog!

What pet should I get?
I'll get one that's dead!

That doesn't need feeding
(Or watering and weeding)
Or has to be walked
Or likes to wear socks

What's the best kind of pet?
One that lives in Tibet!