Thanks to all those who responded, even the ones that didn't read the original post lol.
John, a muzzle brake is legal here but I really don't want to go there unless it is absolutely necessary as in the case with your wife. I have read good things about the Airtech Limbsaver pads and would go that route first.
We did some shooting this afternoon in preparation for a deer hunting trip starting Thursday and she did well again with her 6.5x55 with some full power 120 and 140 gr loads so I'm sure she can handle something a little heavier for certain hunts.
I know you have done some extensive bullet testing is there really much difference between the different bullets I mentioned? (Partitions in 7mm 160 and 175's, 308 180's and 8mm 200's) I would guess there isn't much difference.
Ironically we also have a 28 gauge for her as well and she handles it well, good to hear the non toxic loads do well on geese.
