So am I translating this correctly via the Authentic Alaskan Trailer Park Drunk Gibberish, Stumpy recommends some sort of Tasco Knock Off? Don't they call those Simmons?

Its so much easier to understand when Hutch types his posts for him, so much more legible and proper English, instead of the combo of making up words as you go along, and not being able to type or spell worth a Schidt....and throw in not being sober on top of it.....

it ain't easy being Schtick....