Thanks everybody. They really are great kids, turning into great young men, seemingly in spite of me.
Partsman--Donuts would've been gone gone gone. And they would've mocked me later with tales of how good they are.
So....how you gonna show your appreciation for them doing what is right?
Well we went to Dairy Queen after church tonight, but that happens pretty regular anyway.
Without going on too much of a tangent.... We don't do rewards for good behavior or pay the kids for working around the house and such. I'm not a fan of "if you're good you get stuff" way of parenting because I think it leads kids to rely too heavily on the reward. And if there comes a time when the rewards dry up, the good behavior can too.
Instead I try to instill an intrinsic desire to not just DO good, but BE good. The boys didn't get to go to DQ because of their attitudes towards guns. I sat them down this afternoon and explained that their attitudes were an example of how intelligent, trustworthy, and resolved they were and how proud I am of them. They didn't just DO good, they ARE good. And I'm proud of who they ARE, which reveals itself in what they do.
So at our house we don't get special treats or money for doing stuff. But at our house we are good people. And since my boys are such good people I want to enjoy good things in life with them....like going shooting or camping or taking a trip to Dairy Queen.
It's not a huge difference mechanically in how it all works, but in how you approach it with the kids there is a difference and I think I can see it making a difference in them.
