... Get a 308 Win on a short Sucks action, 2.5x8 Leu, Talley's and 165 Partitons. Go huntin.
by Charlie Sisk...
Soul, Vendi & Mammon
Barristers & Solicitors
99th Floor - 666 Damnation Alley
New York, NY
Dear Mr. Sisk:
Re: Defamation and Unlawful Interference with Market Share We are the solicitors for the Reputable Arms Company of America. It has recently come to our attention that you published an article which referred to our client's product as a "Sucks" rifle. This description carries with it a pejorative connotation of a disreputable activity and as such is a defamation of our client and its products.
For the record, our client's product in no way "sucks". We do not see the humour in this kind of description (but we might see the humour in a "sucker" spending two weeks' take-home pay to purchase one of our new, highly-marketed products only to find that the bolt handle broke off after the first firing. If that happened we would, of course, maintain that the failure lay entirely with the negligent actions of the shooter).
Accordingly, we hereby demand that you publish an immediate apology to the Reputable Arms Company of America or else face a legal proceeding for millions of dollars in damages. We have sent a copy of this letter to your magazine editor and to all the magazines where we advertise.
We trust you will govern yourself accordingly.
Yours very truly,
Lucifer S. Shyster
