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One Minute with Randy Mooney

Have you ever noticed that some people just die and no one finds out until long after? I think that's strange considering this is the information age. Things go so much faster now...communication that is, not people dying!

Before the Internets, we had to read a paper newspaper every day and check the obits. The word 'obits' is short for obituaries, which many young people don't seem to know. I thought they would know though. I guess they spend too much time trying to figure out new texting or Twitter short forms and forgot the English they were taught in school. I wonder what sort of English is taught in the schools these daze? LOL! WTF?

I wonder why some people are so young? We all have to start somewhere I guess, but wouldn't it be smarter to start life at 25 or 30? That way, you could forego too much time in school, awkward first dates, and the big one, potty training.

Here's something that's always annoyed me - the four seasons. Why are there four? Who made that decision? And why are they all the same length? If I had any say in the creation of the world, I would have made winter much shorter. The time that was cut from winter would have been added to summer. That seems so much smarter to me. If I was a young person, I could understand blaming older people for this oversight.

And while we're on the subject of the four seasons, why it is that only autumn (fall) has two names? The others don't. If I had any pull with Mother Nature, I'd bring this deficiency to her attention. Every season should have at least two ways to describe it.

I'd like to see winter given a warmer name like Cuddleby or Huggles. Either sounds nicer. The words spring and summer are okay. Autumn rolls off the tongue sweetly, but something has got to be done with the word winter. I guess I could contact the people that write the dictionaries. Maybe they can do something about it.

One last thing. I'm at my wit's end! What does that really mean? You've used up all your wit and are finished? Is there someplace where you can get more? What about people that are scared witless? Can you sue to get it back? If you're dim witted, wouldn't you already be there? Is this where dullards are all the time?

Thinking about stuff like this frustrates me. I'm at my wit's end!