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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096
Campfire Kahuna
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OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business.
This ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my ass and said, "You're kind of cute. You gotta phone number?" I said, "Yea, you gotta pen?" She said, "Yea, I got a pen". I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you." Cost me 6 stitches. . . but when you are over seventy. . . who gives a crap?
Cowboy: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please." Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?" Cowboy: "Nah.. She's purty good lookin'....." When you are over seventy, who gives a crap? ***********
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right. " I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you." When you are over seventy, who gives a crap? ***********
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs. "Really" she said, "Go on then...try." After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?" I said, "Yesterday." When you are over seventy, who gives a crap? ***********
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in. When you are over seventy, who gives a crap? ***********
I went to the pub last night and saw a chick dancing on a table. I said, "Good legs." The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so." I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now." When you are over seventy, who gives a crap?
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 69,634
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 69,634 |
Happy Thanksgiving Terry!
Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla!
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 5,866
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 5,866 |
Smiling, I like #1 the best but they are all good'ns.
Eating fried chicken and watermelon since 1972.
You tell me how I ought to be, yet you don't even know your own sexuality,, the philosopher,,, you know so much about nothing at all. Chuck Schuldiner
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 8,573
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 8,573 |
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 6,798
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 6,798 |
CLASSICS!!! maddog
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,196
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,196 |
If you take the time it takes, it takes less time. --Pat Parelli
American by birth; Alaskan by choice. --ironbender
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 16,384
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 16,384 |
Happy Thanksgiving, Terry!
I've always been a curmudgeon - now I'm an old curmudgeon. ~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 23,319
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 23,319 |
We were laughing until we cried at my house.
"All that the South has ever desired was that the Union, as established by our forefathers, should be preserved, and that the government, as originally organized, should be administered in purity and truth." – Robert E. Lee
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 44,289
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 44,289 |
Terry, those are some good ones.
Slaves get what they need. Free men get what they want. Rehabilitation is way overrated. Orwell wasn't wrong. GOA member disappointed NRA member 24HCF SEARCH
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 4,589
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 4,589 |
8 years away from not giving a crap.
Never take life to seriously, after all ,no one gets out of it alive.
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 18,994
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 18,994 |
8 years away from not giving a crap. 8 years past from not giving a crap.
Leo of the Land of Dyr
NRA FOR LIFE
I MISS SARAH
“In Trump We Trust.” Right????
SOMEBODY please tell TRH that Netanyahu NEVER said "Once we squeeze all we can out of the United States, it can dry up and blow away."
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 8,492
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 8,492 |
Good ones…..
I never gave a crap
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 31,247
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 31,247 |
I can only give a crap for one more year.
Ahhh heck, why put things off?
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,195
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,195 |
Five days but who's counting. Wife and I share same BD, she will be seventy also. Might be a problem if we get the 70 attitude at the same time. GW Slept with a Great Grandma a few nights back. First time, never thought that would happen. Funny she said the same thing to me. GW
If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared. MACHIAVELLI
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,483
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,483 |
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,483
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,483 |
Good ones…..
I never gave a crap
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 28,172
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 28,172 |
Thanks Terry and Happy Thanksgiving!
Hunt with Class and Classics
Religion: A founder of The Church of Spray and Pray
Acquit v. t. To render a judgment in a murder case in San Francisco... EQUAL, adj. As bad as something else. Ambrose Bierce “The Devil's Dictionary”
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 7,954
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 7,954 |
Good read and laugh at the end of a great day. Thanks Terry.
Fall seven times, stand up eight.
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 23,319
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 23,319 |
8 years away from not giving a crap. 8 years past from not giving a crap. Dang Bow, I had no idea your were an old fart!
"All that the South has ever desired was that the Union, as established by our forefathers, should be preserved, and that the government, as originally organized, should be administered in purity and truth." – Robert E. Lee
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,127
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,127 |
I am..........disturbed.
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain
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