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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096
Campfire Kahuna
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OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
Dear American liberals, leftists, social rogressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is our separation agreement:
--Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
--We don't
like re-distributive taxes so you can keep them.
--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.
--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.
--You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move them.
--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare wellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.
--We'll keep the smart diverse and conservative Governors like Susanna Martinez & Niki Haley, greedy CEO's and rednecks and you can keep Jerry Brown, Bernie Sanders & e-mail Hillary.
--We'll keep Bill O Reilly, and Bibles and give you CNBC and Hollywood.
--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
--You can have the peaceniks, war protesters, Black Lives Matter people and all the sanctuary cities.
-- When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help protect & provide them security.
We will keep- our Judeo-Christian values.
--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
--We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.
--You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors who’re willing to forego payment.
--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem", and a whole slew of Country songs.
--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya", "We Are the World", & all of the anti establishment Rap songs.
--We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, Al Sharpton, Alan Grayson, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Jesse Jackson and (Hanoi) Jane Fonda with you as well.
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 14,076
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 14,076 |
They can have Bill O'Reilly too.
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,236 Likes: 37
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,236 Likes: 37 |
Ain't gonna be 15 years Terry, more like 2 and they be beggin' fer help.
Paul
"I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon".... D.A.D.
Trump Won!, Sandmann Won!, Rittenhouse Won!, Suck it Liberal Fuuktards.
molɔ̀ːn labé skýla
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096
Campfire Kahuna
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OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
No doubt but then I didn't write it.
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 15,553
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 15,553 |
Can't we give them Bill O'reilly?
"I Birn Quhil I Se" MacLeod of Lewis I Burn While I See Hold Fast MacLeod of Harris
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 11,065
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 11,065 |
Make America great again.
"There's more to optics than meets the eye."--anon
"...most of us would be better off losing half a pound around the waist than half a pound on our rifle."--dhg
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,639
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,639 |
Can't we give them Bill O'reilly? and Geraldo Rivera? P.S. Happy Birthday Mac!
Speak softly and use a big bore... Where's El Cid when we need him...
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,695
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,695 |
one more thing, you have to stay where you start
NO crossing over
if a man speaks, and there isn't a woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 5,190
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 5,190 |
Can't we give them Bill O'reilly? and Geraldo Rivera? P.S. Happy Birthday Mac! And Juan Williams as a free bonus.
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 39,301
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 39,301 |
I like it! It almost sounds like Idaho.
Last edited by Scott F; 08/29/16.
The first time I shot myself in the head...
Meniere's Sucks Big Time!!!
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 15,553
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 15,553 |
"I Birn Quhil I Se" MacLeod of Lewis I Burn While I See Hold Fast MacLeod of Harris
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,325 Likes: 31
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,325 Likes: 31 |
Can't we give them Bill O'reilly? and Geraldo Rivera? P.S. Happy Birthday Mac! And Juan Williams as a free bonus. And all of CNN.
If you take the time it takes, it takes less time. --Pat Parelli
American by birth; Alaskan by choice. --ironbender
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 67,797 Likes: 9
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 67,797 Likes: 9 |
They can have Bill O'Reilly too. ^+ on that thought
Sam......
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