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Motorcycle rally in Sturgis Kentucky..if you can think of it, its there.

Buddy could make a few extra bucks from the city mowing the median on the way home, could pay for his beer

One more, a 65 inch flatscreen TV in a 14 x70 mobile home. Oh.. I was in Mountain View Arkansas at the Walmart a couple years ago and seen a car that looked like a mix between a 1980 Cadillac and a 1978 Datsun..

Destiny.

Because folks generally vote their own, I tell folks here I'm gonna run fer mayor under the name "Birdez".

Slogans:

#1: Birdez: Hispano por election, no por nacimiento.
("Birdez: Hispanic by choice, not by birth".)

#2: Birdez.... Look, my wife is Mexican!

and

#3: Birdez.... because you don't vote anyway.

I think they're funny, that's what matters.

White trash are the 300 pound slipper sliding ground pounders that show up after noon at the grocery store in their pajamas with bed head un bathed. And buy 400 dollars worth of junk food with an EBT card. And have 1500 dollars worth of Tattoos proudly displayed in places we would rather not see and an I phone. But have never had a job and aren't planning on ever looking for one. And are mad as hell at the system. They would have voted for Hillary but they don't register to vote because they might have to show up for jury duty.
After Nafta the town I live in filled up with white trash.
Rednecks are far superior to white trash. Rednecks work.

Cut the roof off of most any forties modern four door sedan and you have an xcellent boat....at least "stock tank worthy ". You just have get the load distributed right and don't move around much. Cousin Ray even put his on the City Lake to run trot lines from. He used a grain scoop for a paddle.

Daddy painted our old 46 Ford with a Black Flag DDT sprayer. Fire engine red. We called it Redwing.

Some more southern WV gems:

A guy making a necklace from a huge kidney stone.

13 year old Aldy Justice in the 1st grade with me. He and his family lived under a rock cliff.

An old bullet nose Studebaker with another front end bullet nose body fitted to the rear end in place of the trunk lid. Didn't know if it was coming or going.

Lighting a highway fuse (fuse-E) in the trunk of a hollow tree to smoke out a 'coon. Caught the woods on fire.

A big fat mother in a junky car with 5 kids and she was yelling "Umagonnawhupyou".

Had an insured who was a very decent guy. He was a janitor at a business in town and drove an old rusted out Datsun pickup. His wife was 5'1" and weighed 420 pounds and they had 4-5 kids. All of them and a couple cats and dogs lived in a single wide trailer out past the edge of town. Every night he got off work at midnight and he'd drive around to the convenience stores and buy the left over pizza, chicken, hot dogs, etc and take it home for his wife's midnight snack. One day he told me he'd taken his Christmas bonus and purchased a camcorder. Said it changed their lives and he didn't know how they'd lived without it.

Luckily it's front wheel drive.

Reminds me of years back watching a group of young, supposedly 'factory trained specialist' mechanics at a dealership's garage, sweating and grunting their butts off, trying to hand push a small car, with the rear end raised completely off the floor with a floor jack, into a work bay.

Salesman standing next to me, watching too, shook his head, chuckled, and said something like, 'It might be a whole lot easier to push if you guys would put it in neutral'.

The young hotshot mechanics replied with something like, 'doesn't matter if it's in gear or not with rear end jacked all the way off the ground, ...take your dumbazz back in the showroom and sell some cars and leave the mechanical stuff to us'.

Salesman replied, 'OK but at least this dumbazz salesman knows there's a big difference between front wheel drive and rear wheel drive'.

Needless to say, the red faced, out of breath mechanic's jaws hit the floor.

i had bad habit even getting educated and all that.
as asst. mgr. v.P. of a bank.
I trapped a live skunk in my back yard one day stuck in a box, and back of my truck, which i backed up to the main door of the bank i worked at. I fully intended to release the skunk in the bank. Sanity won out. However the branch mgr's car with open windows was next to my truck. And that skunkly odor drifted into his car. He said the next morning he had been at a meeting with a bunch of old ladies and they were looking at him funny. Wanted to know if i knew anything about it. I found out i could lie with the best of them until i went outside and urped in the bushes i was laughing so hard. He is passed on now and i shouldn't speak ill of the dead. but he WAS kind of a dick.

This.

A friend was taking a $hit one time in the woods, with his rifle next to him. A deer happened by, he picked his rifle up and took his shot.

He finished wiping his ass and then went and got his deer.

Painted that FJ40 with an airless, using Rustoleum red oxide primer, did the top with a rustoleum rattle can. Was going to be temporary, that never changed, lasted 20 years parked outside.

For sure.

Indeed redneck hijinks crack me up


White trash behavior makes me want to sss

Knew of some fellows years back that got caught and convicted for hog rustling from local farmers hog lots. They'd bait them with day old loaves of bread soaked it leftover sour mash that legit commercial whiskey distillers used to give away by the barrel full, load a few pigs a time into an old worn out VW bus, take them off and sell them.

When I was a kid my school bus route took about and hour and a half through a long back country gravel road.

I can remember most kids living in very old single wides with "add on" rooms or porches made of rough sawn sawmill oak covered in black board.

Some houses were made up of sawmill slabs and sawmill lumber. After dark you could see every crack in the house because light would shine out through them.

I remember spending the night with a friend when I was in 7th grade. His mattress in his bedrooms was just a box of rusty springs covered with an old quilt.

Everyone had wood heat and it was rare if a household had a telephone.....if you had a phone all you had to dial was the last 4 numbers

Plenty of old broken down cars, trucks and log trucks in front of a lot of houses not to mention a mess of dogs and cats

fuggen chicken dinner rat der

Back when I fooled with a bunch of goats I had pasture at my house and pasture a few miles down the road so to move them I'd load 2-3 in the backseat of the truck

i've done that, used the shirt sleeve to wipe.