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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 1,944
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 1,944 |
Our coach reviewing the game film and talking to the defense after the opposing teams talk back ran all over them. "Anyone see what's wrong in this picture?" No response from the defense and he yells out "there wasn't a swinging dick in front of number 13 all night to stop him." Couldn't stop laughing after that out burst.🤣🤣🤣
MAGA! This is the way!
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 8,845
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 8,845 |
Two of my favorites from my Grandpa.
"I can't make you do it; but, I can make you wish you did it."
"Wish in one hand and s.h.i.t. in the other and tell me which one fills up first."
_________________________________________________________________________
“Montana seems to me to be what a small boy would think Texas is like from hearing Texans.”
John Steinbeck
ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,665 Likes: 5
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,665 Likes: 5 |
My father on women and marriage, "Son, they're all b*tches. Just pick a face you can live with." Along those same lines... "Son all puzzy gets old, so make sure you pick one with some brains attached to it"
She never made it past the bedroom door, what was she aiming for...?
She's gone shootin..
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 1,372
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 1,372 |
Nothing is impossible for the man that doesn't have to do it.
There's never time to do it right but always time to do it over. I had the dubious pleasure of working with a very talented aircraft maintenance type - Read Cranky - who used these two quite a bit. Another was: No Good decision was ever made from a swivel chair He attributed it to Patton.
Slim
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 13,965 Likes: 4
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 13,965 Likes: 4 |
My father on women and marriage, "Son, they're all b*tches. Just pick a face you can live with." Along those same lines... "Son all puzzy gets old, so make sure you pick one with some brains attached to it" I'm obviously lucky. I've never had these problems with women.
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 16,166 Likes: 9
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 16,166 Likes: 9 |
All around a pig's ass is pork.....
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,939
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,939 |
Vegetarian... and old Indian word meaning "bad hunter"
You'll shoot your eye out
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 10,025 Likes: 1
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 10,025 Likes: 1 |
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 16,405 Likes: 1
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 16,405 Likes: 1 |
Careful what you ask for -
You might get it.
Give 'em enough rope -
and they'll hang themselves.
I've always been a curmudgeon - now I'm an old curmudgeon.
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 5,932
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 5,932 |
Six of one and half a dozen of another.
Beware of thieves, scammers and dishonest members on the "Fire" classifieds. Ya there is a thief here too. Whatever!!
They're all around the CampFire and everywhere.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 32,130 Likes: 1
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 32,130 Likes: 1 |
Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
If you put Taco Bell sauce in your ramen noodles it tastes just like poverty
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 16,166 Likes: 9
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 16,166 Likes: 9 |
Fill up the back of the shovel, the front will take care of it's self....
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 395
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 395 |
Did not read thru all these - apologies for any duplicates: First rule of hole digging - drop the shovel. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. You CAN make him d  mn thirsty though. There's an @ss for every seat. Opinions are like @ssholes. Everybody's got one - everybody else's stinks.
Last edited by releehweoj; 02/14/17.
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Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,045
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,045 |
Fill up the back of the shovel, the front will take care of it's self....
Watch your pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves..
The beatings will continue until morale improves
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 10,025 Likes: 1
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 10,025 Likes: 1 |
"Couldnt find his own azz with both hands and a flashlight"
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 3,676
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 3,676 |
I saw this sign and had it made into a plaque that I put on the front of my secretary's desk;
DO YOU WANT TO TALK TO THE MAN IN CHARGE
OR THE WOMAN WHO KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON?
Last edited by Rug3; 02/15/17.
BE STRONG IN THE LORD, AND IN HIS MIGHTY POWER. ~ Ephesians 6:10
Socialism is a philosophy of failure,
the creed of ignorance,
and the gospel of envy,
its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.
--Winston Churchill
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 10,025 Likes: 1
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 10,025 Likes: 1 |
"I want to talk to the organ grinder, not the monkey"
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 19,179
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 19,179 |
Fill up the back of the shovel, the front will take care of it's self....
I don't think this one has been posted... When you find yourself in a hole....STOP digging. Jerry
jwall- *** 3100 guy***
A Flat Trajectory is Never a Handicap
Speed is Trajectory's Friend !!
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Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 5,705 Likes: 2
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 5,705 Likes: 2 |
Couldn't pour piss out of a boot, with directions on the heel! If it has tits or tires it will be trouble sooner or later!! As hard to find as a ni**er with a job in DETROIT! IF IT TASTES LIKE SH*T YOUR DOING IT WRONG ROLL HER OVER! Dad had lots of funny sayings! Elk make tracks , tracks don't make elk now keep hunting!
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Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,340
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,340 |
Show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a c--ksucker from Guatemala.
Don't roll those bloodshot eyes at me.
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