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You may have seen this but i thought I'd post. Its been making its way around the interenet:

The Dam




This is an actual letter sent to a man named
Ryan DeVries by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality,
State of Pennsylvania. This guy's response is hilarious, but read the
State's letter before you get to the response letter.


SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W,
Sec. 20; Lycoming County

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department
of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized
activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been
certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following
unauthorized activity:

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris
dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.

A permit must be issued prior to the start of
this type of activity.

A review of the Department's files shows that no
permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that
this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of
the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the
Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the
Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or
both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing
debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this
nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department
therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this
location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing
all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All
restoration work shall be completed no later
than January 31, 2007.

Please notify this office when the restoration
has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled
by our staff.

Failure to comply with this request or any
further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being
referred for elevated enforcement action.

We anticipate and would appreciate your full
cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this
office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,
David L. Price
District Representative and Water Management
Division


Here is the actual response sent back by Mr.
DeVries:


Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec.
20; Lycoming County

Dear Mr. Price,

Your certified letter dated 12/17/06 has been
handed to me to respond to. I am the legal landowner but not the
Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane, Trout Run, Pennsylvania.

A couple of beavers are in the (State
unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris"
dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay
for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be
highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building
materials "debris." I would like to challenge your department to attempt
to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I
believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their
dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam
persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

As to your request, I do not think the beavers
are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start
of this type of dam activity.

My first dam question to you is:
(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my
Spring Pond Beavers, or

(2) Do you require all beavers throughout this
State to conform to said dam request?

If you are not discriminating against these
particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request
completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that
have been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam
violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural
Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of
1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled
Laws, annotated.

I have several concerns. My first concern is,
aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond
Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said
representation - so the State will have to provide them with a dam
lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams
failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this
is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In
other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than
harassing them and calling their dam names.


If you want the stream "restored" to a dam
free-flow condition please contact the beavers - but if you are going to
arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam
letter, they being unable to read English.

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers
have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is
blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam
rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of
Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it
should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment
(Beavers' Dams).

So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned,
this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right
now. Why wait until 1/31/2007? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the
dam ice then: and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to
contact/harass them then.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your
attention to a real environmental quality, health, problem in the area.
It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I
definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and
leave the beavers alone.

If you are going to investigate the beaver dam,
watch your step! The bears are not careful where they dump!

Being unable to comply with your dam request,
and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am
sending this response to your dam office.

THANK YOU.
RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAV

That is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. Good work Ryan Devries. Oh, good work beavers.

I am STILL rollin on the dam floor!

Best,

bhtr

The stuff that circulates email/internet is hard to verify as true, however, this is typical of todays pencil pushing beauracrats? Glad you enjoyed!

dam funny!

dam right.

Dam Beavers. This calls for the death penalty.

Gotta love those beavers. They are everywhere in the area we hunt moose. I love watching them work.

I've seen that one off and on over the past few years, keeps getting better each time!!! Industrious little buggers. (and sometimes not so little) Tis always nice to find a beaver pond about 3-4 years old, always full of trout. Oh yeah, this is the trapping forum, but beaver fur does make some nice trout flies.lol

Is there anything better than finding a big beaver pond in the middle of nowhere and flyfishing on it? The only thing that might equal it would be calling a big bull moose out to that same pond?

Where we hunted moose last fall there was a nice beaver pond right where my buddies moose went bang flop. I went back in there a couple days later with my fly rod and rifle, found some really nice brookies. There were some old trappers cabins but no sign of any recent trapping. What a sweet spot it is. Thinking I might have to check it out this summer.

How much better could it get than that?

That is the biggest and least likely of questions to ever get asked or solved. Probably what keeps some of us going back for more.

I can't wait.