Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire How they do it down South

How to install a southern security alarm:

1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of men’s size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with old copies of Guns and Ammo magazines.

3. Put 4 giant dog bowls next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Bubba,

Me, Donnie Ray, Mercele, and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.
Don’t mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman pretty good this morning and messed him up really bad.
I don’t think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
Anyway, I locked all four of ‘em in the house.
Better wait outside. Be right back.

Cooter

I like that but it makes the assumption that the person looking at the note can read. 😁

Yes, but .......................

That presumes the thieves can read.

L.W.

You got thieves kicking in doors yelling "Seattle Police" - they'll shoot your dog just like a real cop would.

I don't have a dog. My pet rattler killed it, and the gator ate it.

There's a seedy little beer joint a little east of Nashville- - - -literally on "the other side of the tracks". They have a notice posted just inside the door:

ATTENTION! THIS ESTABLISHMENT IS GUARDED AFTER CLOSING TIME BY A PIT BULL WITH AIDS.

IF THAT DOESN'T IMPRESS YOU I'LL INTRODUCE YOU TO THE BIKER WHO GAVE AIDS TO THE PIT BULL!

Lol. That ought to work. Should probably also post it in Spanish and Ebonics!

My dogs sound like they are about to eat through the door when someone comes in the yard.

When i was a young lad living in Chicago, I went to a bar with my dad. There was a German Shepard dog that stayed behind the bar. When any of the old timers were ready to go home this dog would walk them home. It was a crappy neighborhood. Of course my dad said don't order anything on the bottom shelf cause the darn dog peed back there.