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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 4,774
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 4,774 |
I never used farts, burps or other unseemly bodily functions as part of my mating repertoire. When my wife and I were dating she told me how her brother would Dutch oven his (now ex) wife and in doing so caused reasonable grounds for divorce…or at least murder. I filed that away, easily. Years later I found myself helplessly unsuspecting of such an assault…especially unprovoked and at the hands of my most trusted adviser. I never reciprocated and I’m one of the only guys I know that doesn’t bust out laughing at boorish behavior. 😂
Several years ago my wife told me to not get a big head but she’s noticed that my farts and my sh.it doesn’t stink….it took her longer to realize that than I expected but it’s mostly true. 😉 Dutch ovens will not get you divorced. Trust me, I tried that.
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Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 8,946 Likes: 5
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 8,946 Likes: 5 |
Be my guess if'n the op would start with a hug and his usual bs line blowing in her ear first then he might get away with the groping. Then again can't explain tact to them who don't have any. Hook , line, and sinker or not hell of a way of showing respect for the woman in your life..mb
" Cheapest velocity in the world comes from a long barrel and I sure do like them. MB "
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 17,211 Likes: 9
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 17,211 Likes: 9 |
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 5,756 Likes: 1
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 5,756 Likes: 1 |
Keep doing what you always have and still expecting a different result?
Someone said something about that...
"Camping places fix themselves in your mind as if you had spent long periods of your life in them.
You will remember a curve of your wagon track in the grass of the plain like the features of a friend."
Isak Dinesen
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 8,556 Likes: 7
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 8,556 Likes: 7 |
Sign her up for a sensitivity training class for Xmas....................with the warning she may lose her Trophy Husband.
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 8,346 Likes: 7
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 8,346 Likes: 7 |
Sign her up for a sensitivity training class for Xmas....................with the warning she may lose her Trophy Husband. 
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 5,208 Likes: 9
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 5,208 Likes: 9 |
That onery assed old woman & I been together for about 37 years now. Both our second. Ups & downs for sure. But all in all we've had a pretty good time if I may say so myself. At your obviously advanced age, I would advise it's time to stop trusting farts.
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 67,808 Likes: 11
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 67,808 Likes: 11 |
Sam......
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Joined: Sep 2023
Posts: 1,418 Likes: 2
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Sep 2023
Posts: 1,418 Likes: 2 |
30 years ago I was set up on a date with a girl that worked for the highway patrol. She was 5-10 165 lbs. Her ex husband beat her up all the time. So one day she had enough of it and waited till he went to sleep and took a baseball bat to him. Then she said some guy new in town asked her for a date. She took the day off and the dude stood her up. She went to his motel room, and punched him out!! She was a nice gal but no connection. I can still remember the Lorena Bobbit story where she waited till her husband fell to sleep and she cut off his weenie. All I can say treat women nice!
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 5,934
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 5,934 |
Ya need to bring your Tweeney kids into the kitchen to join ya on the floor. Would help to give ‘‘em some extra homework.
Bring rover into the act and set up the GoPro.
Last edited by MissouriEd; 11/18/23.
Beware of thieves, scammers and dishonest members on the "Fire" classifieds. Ya there is a thief here too. Whatever!!
They're all around the CampFire and everywhere.
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Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 28,980 Likes: 26
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 28,980 Likes: 26 |
If I were either of you, I’d run far and fast from the other. WTF can live like that?
What fresh Hell is this?
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Joined: Nov 2020
Posts: 279
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Nov 2020
Posts: 279 |
I'm still waiting for the advice from Oregon. And whatever happened to Bob Brown? 
радянське лайно, іди ебать свою матір
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