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colonoscopy anyone? this is my 4th time.

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Start preparing now.

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Good luck taking shits, thanks for bringing it to everyone's attention. Pears sent for the shitting and probing.

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Before my first one I was told that versed would act as a truth serum and I'd be talkative. I wasn't too worried until the anesthesiologist came in, an attractive woman in a lab coat with nice legs showing. I thought "oh, shît. I'm going to say something". My last memory was me thinking to myself "don't f'n say anything. don't f'n say anything...". When I woke I looked around to see if the cops were there.


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I have always said if a colonoscopy prep was part of any sentence for commiting a crime the crime rate would plumet.


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Wanted: old man attention

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Every 5 years starting at age 55.

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Originally Posted by 260Remguy
Every 5 years starting at age 55.
Sounds good for the doctor


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Two words….Baby Wipes.😁


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Yuck, I much prefer the prostate threads.


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Originally Posted by navlav8r
Two words….Baby Wipes.😁

One word. Bidet.


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Originally Posted by alwaysoutdoors
Originally Posted by 260Remguy
Every 5 years starting at age 55.
Sounds good for the doctor

it takes 5 years for polyps to become cancerous , i am doing it in 3-4 years intervals and everytime the polyps were becoming cancerous.

dont get fooled by Cologuard , you need to do it before.

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I've had two they've taken out spots and polyps each time so I have to do it every 3 years.
honestly it's no big deal.

the bigger deal is like I watched my 46 year old brother-in-law die of colon cancer. this is something you do not want to happen to you or do you don't even want to see somebody suffer from this. they discovered his at the stage 4 where it already moved to other organs.. watching somebody that would remind you a lot of Michael McConaughey in about 8 months turn into an unrecognizable skeleton is pretty bad..

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Don’t use a white towel after ur shower

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Cologuard

Crap in a box and mail it off. Sure

Be a man, get an iV, strip down to your naked ass and take your lumps with a gold standard procedure

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The new guidelines are to start at 45 and every 5 years after that. They are finding pre-cancerous polyps in younger people these days and want to start prevention earlier- and the gastroenterologists want to take and extra vacation each year....

I recommend it to everyone I know. Painless for the most part and the prep is a relatively minor inconvenience compared to the alternative.


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Wear your Bugs Bunny or Snoopy tighties for extra credit.

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Originally Posted by stomatador
Before my first one I was told that versed would act as a truth serum and I'd be talkative. I wasn't too worried until the anesthesiologist came in, an attractive woman in a lab coat with nice legs showing. I thought "oh, shît. I'm going to say something". My last memory was me thinking to myself "don't f'n say anything. don't f'n say anything...". When I woke I looked around to see if the cops were there.

Mine was performed by a doctor I knew fairly well and I show up and met his very pretty nurse/assistant. When we met to go over the results he was professional and everything was fine. At the end of my appointment he said I should ask out the nurse and that I was killing it and she was rather smitten. I was too embarrassed to go forward plus I knew him well enough to know it may not had gone as he said and I was being setup.

Last edited by Boise; 03/05/24.

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Originally Posted by Sheister
The new guidelines are to start at 45 and every 5 years after that. They are finding pre-cancerous polyps in younger people these days and want to start prevention earlier - - - - -
Due to direct experience, I see this as very good advice. Had our daughter had her first such exam at 45, rather than at 50, she very well might still be with us.


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I get one every 4 years . No big deal !

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I had one years ago. Clean as a whistle. At my age, I am not getting another. Cost/benefit thing is just not there.


Sam......

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At what age do they stop?


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Originally Posted by wabigoon
At what age do they stop?

When you die.

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Get some of that Desitin type diaper rash ointment and pre-grease your butt before the purge. It will help keep it less like a opossum's ass in poke berry season.

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No big deal.

Or you could get the box and ship it.😂

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I tell the doc to F U C K off ....simple !

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No wonder Boomers like war so much. Getting a camera shoved up your ass every five years .


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I agree with those that believe this a very minor procedure, everybody should be getting them along with, in the case of men a psa Far to many are dying , far to young of completely preventable deaths if detected soon enough.

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The prep is the worst of it.


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Originally Posted by wabigoon
The prep is the worst of it.
i use MiraLAX , just add water and drink it.

i go on a mostly liquid diet a week before do the MiraLAX 3 days before and thats it.

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I hope everything comes out ok


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At 50, back in 2000, I had my first colonoscopy simply because I had read that one should start at age 50. Doc found 1 polyp, but it was the type that becomes cancerous. When I told him my mom died of colon cancer he told me I was in the high risk group and needed the scope every 3 years, which I’ve followed. Last year he told me I could now start having the scope at 5 year intervals. The prep is nothing compared to colon cancer. Be smart and get it done.

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Originally Posted by reivertom
Get some of that Desitin type diaper rash ointment and pre-grease your butt before the purge. It will help keep it less like a opossum's ass in poke berry season.
Thanks for that detailed account, Tom.

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Originally Posted by reivertom
Get some of that Desitin type diaper rash ointment and pre-grease your butt before the purge. It will help keep it less like a opossum's ass in poke berry season.
that should be a daily routine . your sphincter needs lube.

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You are one weird dude.


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Did it today for the first time. Prep sucks but glad it's done. Have an uncle with colon cancer. He never had a colonscopy.

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Stay awake
Two reasons. Nothing to it. Watch it on TV live.

Secondly, Anesthesiologist are incredibly expensive to put you under. And they can kill you. They killed me.

Sux waking up. Room in panic, jumper cables on your chest.

When it can easily be avoided.


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Had my first a month ago. Didn’t care much for the prep.


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Thinking of you.

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Obey lawful commands. Video interactions. Hold bad cops accountable. Problem solved.

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Mom had colon cancer, I get them pretty often.


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Originally Posted by alwaysoutdoors
No wonder Boomers like war so much. Getting a camera shoved up your ass every five years .


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If you've ever seen a family member suffer with colon cancer, or have to keep a bag of feces glued on their side for the rest of their lives, you'd get the camera shoved up there , too.

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I had my third me a couple weeks ago. The prep chemicals kept working long after they were needed this time. No other problems found thankfully. Hope you’re goes well.

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I had the first done at 50 since that was when it was recommended. The prep as stated sucked. I could see why folks get hooked on propofol. Best sleep I ever had. They found 5 polyps but none were cancerous. I was told to come back in 3 years. Second time they found 9 polyps. Again none cancerous. Come back in 6 months. 3rd time they cut out 13 polyps. again none cancerous I was told to come in back in 3 years. ???? The math didn't work out. I guess I'm a polyp farm and they decided I was good after removing 13. I have no clue. Seems every time I went I grew more but after 3 times they decided to schedule me 3 years later. Maybe we have a gastrologist in the house who can answer that question.

Last edited by 348winchester; 03/07/24.

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"Colonoscopy in two weeks, but Wapner's on at 4:00."



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Originally Posted by smokepole
"Colonoscopy in two weeks, but Wapner's on at 4:00."
i am more of a wheel of fortune guy.

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Originally Posted by Pharmseller
Thinking of you.

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Damn man, put a shirt on or something.



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Day 2 of liquid diet , colo on march/19 at 6:30 AM

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I’m getting my teeth cleaned next week.

In case you wanted to know.


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Three so far- - - -VA doc assures me I'm still a "perfect azzole"- - - - -come back in 10 years- - - - -I could have told him that without having the squirts for two days!


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Originally Posted by persiandog
colonoscopy anyone? this is my 4th time.

Tell the doc you dont want a colonoscopy.... tell him you want a Lower GI.


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Originally Posted by Oldman03
Originally Posted by persiandog
colonoscopy anyone? this is my 4th time.

Tell the doc you dont want a colonoscopy.... tell him you want a Lower GI.

isn't it the same thing?

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That's the chits


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Originally Posted by persiandog
Originally Posted by Oldman03
Originally Posted by persiandog
colonoscopy anyone? this is my 4th time.

Tell the doc you dont want a colonoscopy.... tell him you want a Lower GI.

isn't it the same thing?

[Linked Image from niddk.nih.gov]

Nope, it's a different procedure. Everyone should try it!

I've said it before..... the Worse thing about a colonoscopy is the day before.

The Best thing about a Lower GI is the day before...... and both days are the same!

Added: Just one minor detail and this is a minor detail...... you are awake for the Lower GI.

Lower GI is also known as a Barium Enema

Last edited by Oldman03; 03/17/24.

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Be glad the prep is not using an outhouse in a blizzard.


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I hope everything comes out all right.

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The prep solution said on the label may cause diarrhea
It should say WARNING flaming starfish jet spray diarrhea is eminent


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It is no big deal and yes the prep isn't fun. A little trick I use is a day before the prep stop at a McDonald's and get a vanilla shake. That night it makes me crap totally until I'm empty. When the prep starts all that's in there is water. Dock said I was clean as all hell. Lol


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I've found the prep never lived up to the hype, it's just not that big of a deal. Eat light for a couple of days before instead of stuffing your gut like you're gonna starve to death, and you won't [bleep] your brains out.

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Originally Posted by BuckHaggard
I've found the prep never lived up to the hype, it's just not that big of a deal. Eat light for a couple of days before instead of stuffing your gut like you're gonna starve to death, and you won't [bleep] your brains out.

Have had 4 prior to turning 60.
The above is good advice.


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Originally Posted by BuckHaggard
I've found the prep never lived up to the hype, it's just not that big of a deal. Eat light for a couple of days before instead of stuffing your gut like you're gonna starve to death, and you won't [bleep] your brains out.


This was my experience. I followed my doctor's instructions for the two days prior and the prep time was not a big deal. Not exactly fun, but nothing like the horror stories you'll see repeated.

Now if one were to knock off a bag of these a couple of hours before starting the prep solution, well, things could get rough. grin

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good news ,i am home , bad news i have to go back in 3 months and do it again, surgeon couldn't remove one polyp.

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If the surgeon couldn't get it this time how will it work next time? Different procedure?

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Originally Posted by mathman
If the surgeon couldn't get it this time how will it work next time? Different procedure?


Get out the old 'Operation' game and practice, practice, practice.


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Originally Posted by mathman
If the surgeon couldn't get it this time how will it work next time? Different procedure?
he referred me to another colonoscopy place.

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Originally Posted by persiandog
good news ,i am home , bad news i have to go back in 3 months and do it again, surgeon couldn't remove one polyp.


Relieved to hear this. Be sure and let us know when you start the shit prep in about 90 days. Pics or it never happened.

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Originally Posted by mathman
Originally Posted by BuckHaggard
I've found the prep never lived up to the hype, it's just not that big of a deal. Eat light for a couple of days before instead of stuffing your gut like you're gonna starve to death, and you won't [bleep] your brains out.


This was my experience. I followed my doctor's instructions for the two days prior and the prep time was not a big deal. Not exactly fun, but nothing like the horror stories you'll see repeated.

Now if one were to knock off a bag of these a couple of hours before starting the prep solution, well, things could get rough. grin

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I like those.

Just wish they didn't stain my pants and hands red.


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the surgeon said he tattooed the polyp , i asked him with your initials? he said no with yellow dots.

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Originally Posted by persiandog
the surgeon said he tattooed the polyp , i asked him with your initials? he said no with yellow dots.


He should have put "Kilroy was here" on it.

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