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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 14,170 Likes: 1
Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 14,170 Likes: 1 |
California vs. Texas
The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.
A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.
1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.
2. He calls animal control . Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.
4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.
7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.
9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.
Texas :
The Governor of Texas is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.
And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.
Well we're Green and we're Gold, and we play better when it's cold. All us Cheese heads have our favorite superstar. We love Brett Favre.
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Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 2,715
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 2,715 |
In Pa it's a good ole boy jogging. Shoots both the coyote & Govenor(can't tell them apart) and the buzzards still only eat the coyote.
"That's what happens when your leaders stop being an American and start being a politician." George S. Patton What would Yoda do...your ass kick it he would.
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,412
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,412 |
Actually, Gov. Rick Perry - R (TX) used a 380; LCP.
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,412
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,412 |
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 32
Campfire Greenhorn
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Campfire Greenhorn
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 32 |
Nah, I'm sure Arnold would have wrestled the coyote to the ground. At least in the old days he would.
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 20,494
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 20,494 |
Nah, I'm sure Arnold would have wrestled the coyote to the ground. At least in the old days he would. Only in the movies, my friend - - - - ain't reality.
"Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life." (Prov 4:23) Brother Keith
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