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Campfire Outfitter
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OP
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For those of you who have never traveled to the west, or southwest, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings, in dug-out places in the roads adjacent to highways (sometimes across highways), to prevent cattle from crossing over that area. Forsome reason the cattle will not step on the "guards," probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails. A few months ago, President Obama received and was reading a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado . The Colorado ranchers had protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, so he ordered the Secretary of the Interior to fire half of the "cattle" guards immediately! Before the Secretary of the Interior could respond and presumably try to straighten President Obama out on the matter, Vice-President Joe Biden, intervened with a request that before any "cattle guards" were fired, they be given six months of retraining.
'Times are hard,' said Joe Biden, 'it's only fair to the cattle guards and their families be given six moths of retraining! '
And these two guys are running our country?
OH MY SOUL!
"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing." Robert E. Howard
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Thats funny true. But on a serious note about cattle guards and an FYI to anyone considering such, I have a concrete drive leading to the interior yard, our home and sits in, I painted black and white horizontal lines side by side across the driveway. The lines confuse the cattle, and would you believe they wont walk over perfectly flat concrete? I'm talking putting green flat, they wont go near it. It's all in the minds eye. Gunner edit: spelling
Last edited by gunner500; 07/01/12.
Trump Won!
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
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You're a flipping GENIUS, Gunner! In a million years I'd never have thought of that! On the OP, this went around a few years back, word for word, with Team R's names of then current idjits.... Just sayin'.... Oh..... and another thing, Gunner. did ya ever notice the very many and oh so remarkable similarities between humans and cows... just sayin'...
Last edited by Archerhunter; 07/01/12.
BAN THE RAINBOW FLAG! PERVERTS OFFEND ME!
"When is penguin season, daddy? I wanna go kill a penguin!" ---- 4 yr old Archerhuntress
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Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
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Say! I read an article that a few sheep, wanting to cross a cattle guard to access better grass on the other side, learned spontaneously to lie down and roll across the rails. Upon watching this behavior the other sheep copied what they saw. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk/3938591.stmhttp://www.sheep101.info/stupidsheep.htmlNow I don't know much about sheep, more than leg of lamb in the oven stinks me out of the house, but if this isn't an Internet legend, then who knows? I do know that horses are smarter than we believe, at least the warmbloods I worked with, some being spooky smart. Okay, so let the sheep jokes begin.
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Joined: Dec 2009
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Campfire Outfitter
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Thats funny true. But on a serious note about cattle guards and an FYI to anyone considering such, I have a concrete drive leading to the interior yard, our home and sits in, I painted black and white horizontal lines side by side across the driveway. The lines confuse the cattle, and would you believe they wont walk over perfectly flat concrete? I'm talking putting green flat, they wont go near it. It's all in the minds eye. Gunner edit: spelling When it snows, then what?
You're Welcome At My Fire Anytime
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
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When my dad was on the farm one bull learned to cross the cattle guard by turning parallel to the crossing. It would then step out a couple rails with a front foot nearest the crossing and then the back foot on that side. It would then put the feet on solid ground on the rail next to the one it was standing on but not cross its legs. It would then move the first side further across and follow this procedure till it was on the other side.
The other cattle never caught on.
I think a horse might jump across. Maybe you cowboys can clue me in on this.
"Only Christ is the fullness of God's revelation." Everyday Hunter
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
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LOL AH, and yes I have, specially when your favorite cow stops in front of your with her hiney in yer face. And, on the guards or in this case the lack there of LOL, I figure a cattle knows there heavy, the also know wit a broken leg they die, and taking the little I understand about the rod and cone makeup of critter eyes, figured the opposing stripes would fork with there hoof to eye coordinating/equilibrium a bit LOL, lucky guess. Gunner
Trump Won!
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Thats funny true. But on a serious note about cattle guards and an FYI to anyone considering such, I have a concrete drive leading to the interior yard, our home and sits in, I painted black and white horizontal lines side by side across the driveway. The lines confuse the cattle, and would you believe they wont walk over perfectly flat concrete? I'm talking putting green flat, they wont go near it. It's all in the minds eye. Gunner edit: spelling When it snows, then what? Cattle salt and a push broom LOL Gunner
Trump Won!
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
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When my dad was on the farm one bull learned to cross the cattle guard by turning parallel to the crossing. It would then step out a couple rails with a front foot nearest the crossing and then the back foot on that side. It would then put the feet on solid ground on the rail next to the one it was standing on but not cross its legs. It would then move the first side further across and follow this procedure till it was on the other side.
The other cattle never caught on.
I think a horse might jump across. Maybe you cowboys can clue me in on this. Smart critter! Those are the ones that have freezer wrap a little sooner in their future than later....
BAN THE RAINBOW FLAG! PERVERTS OFFEND ME!
"When is penguin season, daddy? I wanna go kill a penguin!" ---- 4 yr old Archerhuntress
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Campfire Ranger
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When it snows, then what? The grass is covered with snow, too. The pasture cows are wintered in pens with bales of hay and feed bunks, otherwise they stand out in the snow and bawl at ya.
BAN THE RAINBOW FLAG! PERVERTS OFFEND ME!
"When is penguin season, daddy? I wanna go kill a penguin!" ---- 4 yr old Archerhuntress
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Campfire Ranger
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LOL AH, and yes I have, specially when your favorite cow stops in front of your with her hiney in yer face. And, on the guards or in this case the lack there of LOL, I figure a cattle knows there heavy, the also know wit a broken leg they die, and taking the little I understand about the rod and cone makeup of critter eyes, figured the opposing stripes would fork with there hoof to eye coordinating/equilibrium a bit LOL, lucky guess. Gunner Hadn't thought of it being a visual acuity thing. I bet you're right. I was having fun thinking it cuz they dumb animals. Oh well... BTW. I told the ole lady your idea and she busted laughing and said, "I'd have never thought of that in a million years! It's GENUIS!"
BAN THE RAINBOW FLAG! PERVERTS OFFEND ME!
"When is penguin season, daddy? I wanna go kill a penguin!" ---- 4 yr old Archerhuntress
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
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about the cattleless guard or stopping with her hiney in full view of you? Gunner
Trump Won!
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
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There are a lot of cattle gaurds in the west that are just yellow painte lines across the highway.
If God wanted you to walk and carry things on your back, He would not have invented stirrups and pack saddles
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Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
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In Canada they call them "Texas Gates" instead of cattle guards.
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
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In the days of inner tubes you could cut a tube about 2 in wide and about 6 ft long and cord tie to each side of the road to the fence posts. Have it a few inches off the ground and loose enough to wiggle in a breeze. I wonder if they thought it was a snake.
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time by the blood of patriots and tyrants.
If being stupid allows me to believe in Him, I'd wish to be a retard. Eisenhower and G Washington should be good company.
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Campfire Ranger
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Thats funny true. But on a serious note about cattle guards and an FYI to anyone considering such, I have a concrete drive leading to the interior yard, our home and sits in, I painted black and white horizontal lines side by side across the driveway. The lines confuse the cattle, and would you believe they wont walk over perfectly flat concrete? I'm talking putting green flat, they wont go near it. It's all in the minds eye. Gunner edit: spelling yeah, well there are some cattle that figure it out, and know how to walk accross a guard
THE BIRTH PLACE OF GERONIMO
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
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The original story is at least ten years old and Joe was not the idiot reported to have said it.
As side note we Had a bull that would tiptoe across a real cattle guard without a seconds thought. I watched him do it many times.
The first time I shot myself in the head...
Meniere's Sucks Big Time!!!
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Thats funny true. But on a serious note about cattle guards and an FYI to anyone considering such, I have a concrete drive leading to the interior yard, our home and sits in, I painted black and white horizontal lines side by side across the driveway. The lines confuse the cattle, and would you believe they wont walk over perfectly flat concrete? I'm talking putting green flat, they wont go near it. It's all in the minds eye. Gunner edit: spelling yeah, well there are some cattle that figure it out, and know how to walk accross a guard Yeah Well, I have a distinct advantage in the cattle biz RPX, ya see, I have ran over 2000 head through this place and not one of them has ever offered to cross that paint and enter the interior yard. See, when yer STUPID it rubs off on yer cattle, they wont ever "FIGURE IT OUT, not here. Gunner
Trump Won!
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
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From a lifetime of experience with cow critters. It doesn't take much to stop a cow from going somewhere. Once they do figure it out and start going you will have boar cat hell stoping them again. Cattle guards, hay traps, hay meadows etc etc. Once they get in or across or whatever they will keep going and a chain link fence will hardly stop them.
Quando Omni Moritati
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Campfire Ranger
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BAN THE RAINBOW FLAG! PERVERTS OFFEND ME!
"When is penguin season, daddy? I wanna go kill a penguin!" ---- 4 yr old Archerhuntress
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
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There are a lot of cattle gaurds in the west that are just yellow painte lines across the highway.
+1, has been that way for years and years.
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
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There are a lot of cattle gaurds in the west that are just yellow painte lines across the highway.
+1, has been that way for years and years. Sounds like even the single yellow paint coupled with even the slightly different shades of the road material is a very [cost] effective way to contain cattle too. Gunner
Trump Won!
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Campfire Ranger
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I've known several mules and a couple horses that figured out how to get across cattle guards. One of the funniest things I think I've ever seen though was a couple llamas that figured it out. Stupidest creatures I've ever seen, besides sheep, I swear they thought they'd figured out how to split an atom.
MAGA
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
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A man best keep mules happy with their surroundings those sombucks will jump a standard CG like a dang deer.
Gunner
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