Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Shithead parents

For those of you with turd parents how do you deal with them. Me i have dad i havent talked to in 2yrs. Everything out of his mouth is lie if he says the sky is blue you better go outside and look... Im leaving ak soon i want swing through my home town for some intervention ie let him know he is a turd to his face, but the spineless [bleep] he is will probably call the cops...

Can't offer any advice here. I quit talking to mine 25 years ago.

I guess thats the right answer leave them alone. What bothers me he has told everyone in my hometown im crazy, afghanistan drove me nuts and i have a necklace of iraqi ears people i cant make this [bleep] up.

As much as you can, disassociate.

The best revenge is living well. For you.

Sooner or later, were all just "people"

When you're younger, it's easy to think that way. When I was home ( left at 18) thought my Dad was a total jerk. Wasn't till I was older, a little wiser, and he had mellowed a bit, did our relationship improve. Give it some time. IMO

Ya, but dont wait on it, and dont expect it.

HOPE, It happens, but dont hold your breath.

You have to be the one that acts like an adult, and see what happens.

When i came to ak i left some rifles at his house with agreement he ship them up, i would pay for it. Well one excuse after another then come to find out he sold some to pay his part of the bills. My dad is horrible with money, it took a bud driving their picking up two rifles all the others were sold. Too this day be believes he did nothing wrong, and just thinking about what a piece of [bleep] he is pisses me off to no end.

I had a mason jar filled with rotten extracted teeth. A dentist gave it to me. I thought he was crazy. Made a chinky ring when I shook the jar.

Then don't think about it, doing so imparts no benefit to you. Just move on.

Everything you've put into the relationship in the past is a "sunk cost", i.e. it's done, and you cannot get it back. What you need to consider is the cost/benefit of any future investments into this relationship, and right not it seems the potential costs are high, and benefits are low......

Yeah, send him a couple hunnerd bucks.

He'll think you're awesome as [bleep].

My dad was pretty much evil. I was estranged from him since I was 14. It was rough on me when I was young, but one day in my 20's I had an epiphany that none of the [bleep] or estrangement was my fault.

I am confidant that the grudges he held against me and my mother killed him. Thankfully I had that epiphany when I was young and moved on.

Literally had a death bed reconciliation with him about ten years ago. If it hadn't been for my basically not caring about him any more and allowing him (in my head) effect my life, I wouldn't have been able to do it.

Grudges kill. Move on...

FWIW.

I have not spoke to my father for maybe 10 years. One thing I have leaned - you have know control to who your parents are. Made me a better father.

Over 40 years ago my "dad" cut out on us leaving a house to be repo'd and a woman with no skills other than being a mom. It took a couple years of all 5 kids working to get on our feet but we did it. I decided that I would never live that again and I would never do that to my kids. Use your experience as a how not to manual for your own life. Try and leave it in Alaska. That seems like a good mental and geographic separation.

This may not help you:

I work on the theory that my family begins and ends with my Wife and Daughter...everyone else is distant.

First off. Thank you for your service. Second. Alaska will always be here for you when you decide to come back. Third. Don't waste your time with him. You are better than that. You will find excellent rifles elsewhere.

Pretty much my thought process my wife and kids is all i need... What is disheartning my wife father died yrs ago she misses him... And here i have "that" guy for a dad...

4yrs will be retired coming home to alaska!

No offense intended and to each their own but...you best hope that your daughter doesn't hold the same theory.

Easier said than done, but just move on. Just go. Don't let his past transgressions eat away at you. You deserve the right to enjoy life. Sorry to hear it has come to this, but close this door and open another one elsewhere. If you need to confront him to gain closure, so be it. If you can live without that, why open old wounds?

Good luck moving forward.