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FORT BRAGG, N.C. � The nation�s premier Airborne infantry division, the 82nd Airborne, will lose its hallowed airborne status in the next fiscal year, Army officials announced Thursday.

Reasons for the change include the high cost of maintenance and fuel in the face of looming budget cuts, and the higher-than-average injury and fatality rate for soldiers conducting training jumps, according to a statement from U.S. Army Forces Command.

�As much as it helps esprit de corps and a sense of unit pride,� said Army spokesperson Col. Mike Mulally, �It hurts in terms of readiness, injuries and the bottom line. The time spent on jumps could be used for more relevant training. We would save over $4 million a year in facility and equipment upkeep.�

�And let�s not forget,� Mulally added, �The awful fatality incidents we suffer about once a year. Every time the general has to give another flag to a wife or mother whose soldiers were lost on a training jump, we have to ask ourselves: Why are we training on an insertion technique that hasn�t been relevant in over fifty years?�

As expected, the announcement caused much consternation among former and current 82nd Airborne veterans.

�This is a horseshit,� said 1st Lt. Jeremy Dallas, a paratrooper and former Airborne School instructor. �Back before I went to OCS, I did a combat jump with the 173rd into Bashur during the initial invasion. FORSCOM doesn�t think that airborne training is relevant? What do they think that jump was? A Hollywood?�

Noting that the airfield had been secured hours earlier than the Bashur assault, Pakistani Gen. Abdul Mansour al-Islamabadi told reporters the �Americans missed their drop zone so badly that it took them fifteen hours to reassemble. And let�s not forget that the 173rd almost caused an international incident when they mistook some of our Turkish allies for Iraqis. They arrested and beat the [bleep] out of them, even though they were wearing Turkish army uniforms. Because I guess all us brown people look alike.�

�But sure, whatever, call it a combat jump, I don�t care,� he added.

The 82nd Airborne Division will immediately cease all airborne training, and at the end of the 2014 fiscal year will officially cease to be an Airborne unit. It will retain the �Airborne� designation in its unit title, but much like the 101st Division, will not be a real airborne unit any longer.

The 173rd Airborne Brigade, stationed in Vicenza, Italy, will remain on Airborne status for the next fiscal year, although anonymous sources in the Pentagon confirmed that it too will soon revert to leg infantry.

Hmmm� Tough call. If airborne insertions of divisions is still required, poor decision. If fewer troops (special forces) have replaced the division sized jumps, then it is a good decision in the face of Obama's budget cuts.

It`s like guns on fighters, they arn`t needed till there needed.

And the pussification continues..

This, alone, removes Carter from the worst POTUS in history rank.

Holy schit.

I think this has been coming for a long time. After talking to a guy who jumped into Iraq with the 173rd, he thought it was basically done to say "Look, we're still relevant", as jumping didn't accomplish much strategically.

The article doesn't mention the 501st out of Richardson losing jump status, but one would infer this will go away if the 173rd is also going leg.

Killing the American Warrior Culture at every available level. The loss of life on training jumps every year? when the Fudge did that start? We had an 8 yr run through '87 without a fatality going, and I didn t stay current with what has happened since.
Airborne status hasn t been about Div sized jumps in forever, it s battalion sized, aimed at DRB (18 hr response), quick response threats.
The idea that a Pakistani officer has any thing to say in an article about our military and our readiness shows more about the "reporter" than anything.
Yes, my sig is 1/504, as in 1st Battalion 504 Parachute Infantry Regiment. Bullshit doesn t begin to describe this decision.

Exactly. Ben Franklin brilliantly opined over two centuries ago that if some future force could drop sky soldiers on demand where ever required, they could dominate any terrain.

Conducting para drops is nowhere as technical as flying itself but it IS quite technical and requires a LOT of institutional knowledge that, like flying, is highly perishable. We figured that schidtt out on the fly in WWII and killed a lot of young men in the process.

I wonder if Putin plans to get rid of his paratroops?

If we are going to feed, clothe, house, insure, and otherwise pamper the 49% the money has to come from somewhere!

It is just a matter of time, before the liberal left takes away firearms from our soldiers.... and says we don't need airpower or anything else... because it might hurt someone, and we don't want the enemies of this country to get mad at us....

I said it in 2008 and I'll say it again.... Obama is our enemies' choice for President of the United States....and he hasn't disappointed them yet...

Will the Army Rangers still be airborne qualified, or will new Rangers not go through airborne training?. What about other Special Operations graduates???

L.W.

I really hate this , i loved jump school at Ft Benning and now wonder if it will be closed next.

You guys realize that this article is a total spoof, right? It's from the Duffel Blog (a great website BTW).

Although the line about Bashur being secured hours before the 173rd jump is incorrect; Bashur was always secure.

I was wondering that. I didn't see a link, but it read kike a typical duffel blog article

Duffle Blog kicks ass! Sometimes i shake my head at what you guys believe around here LOL.. The latest one they have on the coast guard is hilarious

Maybe so, but here's one that's a fact: The army no longer has bayonet training, but the Marines still do.....

Was their a recent bayonet charge we didn't hear about??

Isn't the Marines where they for the actor who did the commercial where his only lines were "i pick things up and put them down"?

Here's the article if anyone is interested. Be sure to read about John Adams at the very bottom of the page.

http://www.duffelblog.com/2014/04/82nd-airborne-legs/

Where does it say it is a spoof? Or is the whole blog a spoof?