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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524 |
Shooting hoops with mi familia after church, and the spidey sense starts tingling.
A glance over my shoulder reveals a gopher nibbling on the green beans in the garden.
I casually take a Jabar sky hook getting nothing but net, oozing swag and savvy as I sashay to the porch, like nothing is out of the ordinary.
My wife says, "You got a runner!"
Knowing the gopher will get to the soybean field before I can retrieve the Savage GL, I head for the gopher, reaching in the truck window for the M&P 9c - a previously baptized gopher slayer.
Swift of foot I engage pursuit, (my wife scoffing that I'll never catch it).
I see the varmint trying to navigate a cattle wire fence in hopes of becoming a ghost in the knee high edameme (or whatever that fancy f'n french term for soybeans is).
Making it through the fence, he pauses, and I take a shot, hitting wire.
I curse, as the gopher continues into the beans.
He makes it about 20 feet, I can see plants moving as he weaves a path of deception. Then he pauses, standing up to see if he is still being pursued.
This time, a triple tap sends the gopher into a spasmodic "twerk o' death".
And I turn to leer at my doubting bride.
"Brutal" she says.
"Yes. Yes I am."
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 32,044
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 32,044 |
When the NAACP reads this, they will be getting in touch with you
A Doe walks out of the woods today and says, that is the last time I'm going to do that for Two Bucks.
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524 |
When the NAACP reads this, they will be getting in touch with you As long as they stay out of the garden...
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 18,215
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 18,215 |
What kind of gophers do you have that run on top of the ground..?
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524 |
woodchucks, whistle pig, ground hog.
I call em gophers.
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 96,121 Likes: 1
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 96,121 Likes: 1 |
She's told me the same, for entirely different reasons.....
"Dear Lord, save me from Your followers"
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 46,350 Likes: 19
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 46,350 Likes: 19 |
.....in the knee high edameme (or whatever that fancy f'n french term for soybeans is). ROR, it's Japanese, "edamame."
A wise man is frequently humbled.
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524 |
She's told me the same, for entirely different reasons.....
that was the day you exited through the window?
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 29,710 Likes: 6
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 29,710 Likes: 6 |
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 96,121 Likes: 1
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 96,121 Likes: 1 |
You know...
Nice shooting though and good write up
"Dear Lord, save me from Your followers"
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524 |
.....in the knee high edameme (or whatever that fancy f'n french term for soybeans is). ROR, it's Japanese, "edamame." Japanese, french, whatever.... We have enough trouble ciphering the King's English....
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 17,289
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 17,289 |
I'd expect nothing less than brutal from "The Spartan".
It's too bad you couldn't get to the .22 mag and choot the gopher gator with the uber bad azz boolits you bought.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 46,350 Likes: 19
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 46,350 Likes: 19 |
.....in the knee high edameme (or whatever that fancy f'n french term for soybeans is). ROR, it's Japanese, "edamame." Japanese, french, whatever.... We have enough trouble ciphering the King's English.... Me too, that's why it was "ROR" instead of "LOL."
A wise man is frequently humbled.
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524 |
What irks me is that the freakin varmint has 60 some acres of Idi Amin, yet he feels the need to consume my green beans.
That takes moxy,
and around here nets 3 hollow points.
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,235
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,235 |
Making it through the fence, he pauses, and I take a shot, hitting wire.
Gopher in the wire!
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 23,453
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 23,453 |
If you had a dog worth a schit, the ground grizzlies would steer clear.
Last edited by 4ager; 07/28/14.
America needs to understand that our troops are not 'disposable'. Each represents a family; Fathers, Mothers, Sons, Daughters, Cousins, Uncles, Aunts... Our Citizens are our most valuable treasure; we waste far too many.
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524 |
If you had a dog worth a schit, the ground grizzlies would steer clear. brutal....
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 8,253 Likes: 4
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 8,253 Likes: 4 |
That rates an ROR too!!!
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 26,524 |
When the NAACP reads this, they will be getting in touch with you It does make one wonder, though, if the web bots out there are looking for some sort of innuendo based on the thread title, as the thread has received over 7800 views in less than 4 hours. Good thing I have attorneys on speed dial. I may have to lawyer up.
Last edited by RWE; 07/28/14.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 16,445 Likes: 3
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 16,445 Likes: 3 |
The last time "The Warden" called me brutal - was after 1200 miles in a day and 6 hours. Something about stopping to pee! And we spent the night in a motel!
Last edited by mark shubert; 07/28/14.
I've always been a curmudgeon - now I'm an old curmudgeon. ~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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