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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 23,367
hatari Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 23,367

Pug's wife texts her husband at work this morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."

Pugs texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water all around."

Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.�

smile


"The Democrat Party looks like Titanic survivors. Partying and celebrating one moment, and huddled in lifeboats freezing the next". Hatari 2017

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid." Han Solo
GB1

Joined: Jul 2006
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I
Campfire Kahuna
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Posts: 62,043
Typical engineers.


The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.
William Arthur Ward




Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52,680
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52,680
Rules for hunting lawyers
Wyoming state attorney season and bag limits
1300.01 GENERAL

1. Any person with a valid Wyomingn State hunting license may harvest attorneys.

2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.

3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.

4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.

5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.

6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.

7. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.

8. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.

9. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it.

10. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for AIDS, rabies, and vermin.

11. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

BAG LIMITS

1. Yellow Bellied Sidewinder 2
2. Two-faced Tort Feasor 3
3. Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator 5
4. Big-mouthed Pub Gut 2
5. Honest Attorney EXTINCT
6. Cut-throat 2
7. Back-stabbing Whiner 2
8. Brown-nosed Judge Kisser 2
9. Silver-tongued Drug Defender $100 bounty




grin


Liberalism is a mental disorder that leads to social disease.
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 96,121
S
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
S
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Posts: 96,121
Attorney's wife texts: "Windows frozen, won't open"

Attorney texts back: "I'm still at work, Scott can go out the front door"


"Dear Lord, save me from Your followers"
Joined: Jul 2006
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Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
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Posts: 62,043
Typical Engineer responses.

Blame the lawyers.


The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.
William Arthur Ward




IC B2

Joined: May 2003
Posts: 31,240
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 31,240
Lawyers are just such an easy target, Bob. It's the only profession in which a siren causes a motion in your briefs.


Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.


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