My Safari - Part 10 - 08/05/23
I got through the South African version of TSA with the loss of my sewing kit scissors. Yes, those evil, dangerous ½” cutting surface scissors in the Italian army surplus sewing repair kit that passed through the American TSA, were taken by the young lad in RSA. Then it was schlep my carry-on ruck and murse to the gate. Naturally, the first wall outlet I sought to use for the cell phone was inoperative. The next wall support column down the gate waiting area worked, however.
While I was busy hooking up power to charge the cell phone and calling my wife to let her know I was actually going to be allowed to leave RSA with my rifles, an obnoxious gate worker walked up and demanded that I move into the tiny portion of the gate area she had blocked off. The entire gate area was 75 yards long with bench seating on both sides. She had turned seats to constrict the size to 1/3 of that, forcing everyone on the flight to sit side by side. Meanwhile, every two minutes, the South African version of Joseph Goebles was brainwashing everyone about how FOR OUR SAFETY, we had to sanitize our hands, and FOR OUR SAFETY we had to maintain social distancing, and FOR OUR SAFETY we would get ½ of the normal level of service at the airport due to covid, etc., etc., etc..
I stopped talking to my wife for a moment and informed the petty tyrant that when I had finished speaking to my wife back in the States, I would move to her tiny corral. She did not know quite what to do with my insolence. Apparently, no one had ever told her to screw herself so politely, so she wandered off.
Next was the make jobs program. All of the passengers violating social distancing in the gate waiting area were now ordered out of the seating into the concourse aisle. We were subjected to another “security check” at the gate. The single 85 year-old couple present was selected for explosive reside screening. Because grandma is always the bomb mule. The rest of us were forced to shuffle through the line back to the gate where two young ladies felt up our carry-on bags as if they were packages of Charmin toilet paper. Someone’s cousin had a contract for “additional security” checkpoints, so our baggage provided the groping victim pool.
Naturally, this was the first day of the spring rains, so the airport air conditioning was struggling to keep the humidity in check. That is always fun when you wear a ruck and carry things quickly to your gate on the far side of the airport. They were thrilled to get rain. I was thrilled that my 3 day safari extension was finally coming to a close without me getting to wear an orange jumpsuit.
Finally, the flight/immobility torture began. This time the electronics worked, and I actually received a pair of earphones for viewing movies. I didn’t see any cases of passenger abuse by the stewardess this time. Arrival at Newark meant “Papers, Please” at US Customs.
These guys were great. Sentient life forms that were polite and professional. They sequenced our inspection IAW the people with the earliest connecting flights. Brilliant! I actually went back to them before leaving and thanked them for their organizational skills and treating us like humans. They were very pleasant to work with. Now, downstairs to TSA – who also had to verify that our rifles were unloaded, in spite of the Border & Customs folks having just done so. Nothing special about the last leg to KC.
As we used to say in After Action Reviews in the Big Green Machine:
SUSTAINS:
1. Rifle set-up – the stubby Alaskan was a joy to shoot, the cartridge was adequate to prevent time-consuming/animal losing tracking. The scope worked superbly in quickly getting the reticle on the target. It carried well.
2. Rifle manipulation – the range sessions here in the States were well-worth the hundreds of rounds fired. I was able to mount the rifle, center the reticle and squeeze off rounds quickly and precisely. In addition, when something did go wrong (CLICK!), I was able to instantly fix it and get back into the fight. Every shot was decisive and enough gun, even if the “Africa Tough” animals did not want to concede defeat at the time.
3. Clothing – the LAPG pants and wicking shirts were perfect for the climate. The REI hat was lightweight and perfect at reducing sun glare so I could spot animals. The merino wool socks and boot combination worked well.
4. Packing was acceptable. It was tough balancing E&E programming from the Army, all of my medical requirements, 3 sets of clothes, insulation in case it got cold, and trying to pack some food I could eat, within the weight and cube constraints. There is still room for improvement here as well.
5. Return to hunt with Somerby. The exact kind of battle buddies one would want.
6. Stay in touch with PHASA. The exact kind of battle buddies one would want.
7. Pre-planning for medical emergencies was great. I spent a couple of crummy days with the tick bite fever fight. By the third day, the azithromycin was winning. I still have a hole in my leg, but it is close to being done healing up.
8. PT – in preparation for the trip I Nordic-Trac’ed, rucked with a 35 pound bag 3 miles once a week, lifted weights, worked the “Farm Fit” chore program of cutting, splitting, stacking wood, running a DR mower, etc.. I cannot run any longer due to the mechanicals of the L4/L5 disc collapse, so short of a cage and rods being inserted, I maxed out the PT. It helped to maximize the safari.
IMPROVES:
1. Try to include more still-hunting/stalking next time.
2. Rehearse with the PH how I will engage targets.
3. Keep my rifle cases handcuffed to my wrists. : )
4. Take more pictures.
5. Spend more time at Safari & Outdoor.
6. Look for more brass that is unavailable in the States.
While I was busy hooking up power to charge the cell phone and calling my wife to let her know I was actually going to be allowed to leave RSA with my rifles, an obnoxious gate worker walked up and demanded that I move into the tiny portion of the gate area she had blocked off. The entire gate area was 75 yards long with bench seating on both sides. She had turned seats to constrict the size to 1/3 of that, forcing everyone on the flight to sit side by side. Meanwhile, every two minutes, the South African version of Joseph Goebles was brainwashing everyone about how FOR OUR SAFETY, we had to sanitize our hands, and FOR OUR SAFETY we had to maintain social distancing, and FOR OUR SAFETY we would get ½ of the normal level of service at the airport due to covid, etc., etc., etc..
I stopped talking to my wife for a moment and informed the petty tyrant that when I had finished speaking to my wife back in the States, I would move to her tiny corral. She did not know quite what to do with my insolence. Apparently, no one had ever told her to screw herself so politely, so she wandered off.
Next was the make jobs program. All of the passengers violating social distancing in the gate waiting area were now ordered out of the seating into the concourse aisle. We were subjected to another “security check” at the gate. The single 85 year-old couple present was selected for explosive reside screening. Because grandma is always the bomb mule. The rest of us were forced to shuffle through the line back to the gate where two young ladies felt up our carry-on bags as if they were packages of Charmin toilet paper. Someone’s cousin had a contract for “additional security” checkpoints, so our baggage provided the groping victim pool.
Naturally, this was the first day of the spring rains, so the airport air conditioning was struggling to keep the humidity in check. That is always fun when you wear a ruck and carry things quickly to your gate on the far side of the airport. They were thrilled to get rain. I was thrilled that my 3 day safari extension was finally coming to a close without me getting to wear an orange jumpsuit.
Finally, the flight/immobility torture began. This time the electronics worked, and I actually received a pair of earphones for viewing movies. I didn’t see any cases of passenger abuse by the stewardess this time. Arrival at Newark meant “Papers, Please” at US Customs.
These guys were great. Sentient life forms that were polite and professional. They sequenced our inspection IAW the people with the earliest connecting flights. Brilliant! I actually went back to them before leaving and thanked them for their organizational skills and treating us like humans. They were very pleasant to work with. Now, downstairs to TSA – who also had to verify that our rifles were unloaded, in spite of the Border & Customs folks having just done so. Nothing special about the last leg to KC.
As we used to say in After Action Reviews in the Big Green Machine:
SUSTAINS:
1. Rifle set-up – the stubby Alaskan was a joy to shoot, the cartridge was adequate to prevent time-consuming/animal losing tracking. The scope worked superbly in quickly getting the reticle on the target. It carried well.
2. Rifle manipulation – the range sessions here in the States were well-worth the hundreds of rounds fired. I was able to mount the rifle, center the reticle and squeeze off rounds quickly and precisely. In addition, when something did go wrong (CLICK!), I was able to instantly fix it and get back into the fight. Every shot was decisive and enough gun, even if the “Africa Tough” animals did not want to concede defeat at the time.
3. Clothing – the LAPG pants and wicking shirts were perfect for the climate. The REI hat was lightweight and perfect at reducing sun glare so I could spot animals. The merino wool socks and boot combination worked well.
4. Packing was acceptable. It was tough balancing E&E programming from the Army, all of my medical requirements, 3 sets of clothes, insulation in case it got cold, and trying to pack some food I could eat, within the weight and cube constraints. There is still room for improvement here as well.
5. Return to hunt with Somerby. The exact kind of battle buddies one would want.
6. Stay in touch with PHASA. The exact kind of battle buddies one would want.
7. Pre-planning for medical emergencies was great. I spent a couple of crummy days with the tick bite fever fight. By the third day, the azithromycin was winning. I still have a hole in my leg, but it is close to being done healing up.
8. PT – in preparation for the trip I Nordic-Trac’ed, rucked with a 35 pound bag 3 miles once a week, lifted weights, worked the “Farm Fit” chore program of cutting, splitting, stacking wood, running a DR mower, etc.. I cannot run any longer due to the mechanicals of the L4/L5 disc collapse, so short of a cage and rods being inserted, I maxed out the PT. It helped to maximize the safari.
IMPROVES:
1. Try to include more still-hunting/stalking next time.
2. Rehearse with the PH how I will engage targets.
3. Keep my rifle cases handcuffed to my wrists. : )
4. Take more pictures.
5. Spend more time at Safari & Outdoor.
6. Look for more brass that is unavailable in the States.
