Your MIL........turns 95......April 1st

Is still up & moving on her own

Can out eat you at dinner time (when I cook)

Still has a sense of humor

Lives on her own in her own home

My wife is main care giver...daily

No longer drives her Toyota Avalon (thank God)

Refuses to go to local assisted living

Thoughts ?

Pic.....she was 93 ish (with my hoodie)

My mom will be 94 on April 3rd, still lives in her five bedroom home in SLC alone, quit driving about 2 years ago. The local family members check in on her and take her shopping.
She's slowed down but still going.

You lookin' to get Wabs all horned up and pawing at the ground?!




On a serious note, sounds like a great lady.

I’d lean toward letting her drive it like she stole it.

Sounds like she is so independed that changing that level before absolutely needed would have a negative effect.

If she’s happy and safe (or relatively so) what keeps her that way?

No

That Avalon with the 3.5L will run 140 mph

Don't wanna see her on a new 'Cops' episode

God Bless her.

My Dad died at 88, but he was in good health and was up until a couple weeks before he died. He lived alone in out home place.
Killed his last buck at 87.
My brothers and I worried about him. The last thing he would have done was to get to where he couldn’t take care of himself. Gue suggested we take the guns out of the house. I disagreed. “Gue, if he wants to kill himself, all he’s gotta do is pull a car in the garage and take a nap while it’s running.” “Yeah, but I’m gonna be the one that finds him”.
All I can say is God bless her, and the two of you as well. She’s obviously happy where she is, and the two of you make that possible for her to do.
Treasure that lady, help her all you can, and allow her to live her life and enrich yours as long as you can.
I know from experience that getting old is not for cowards. Those hills are getting steeper, those short hunts are getting longer, and those drags are a helluva lot harder than they used to be.
But I’ll do it as long as God keeps me able to. When I can no longer do the things I enjoy, I ain’t living, I’m just existing.
Allow her to live as she likes until God calls her home, and be happy for her!
Reon

I figure you're no dummy so likely you've quizzed her about a lot of things in here life, particularly of things about times before you were born.

She seems like such a hoot, would love to meet a coherent person like her & her age. Tell her hi, & give here all my best wishes for more health & longevity.

Thx guys......

Then you'll enjoy this pic

years ago.....

Her and my Marlin 60 SS and running ammo

That is incredible and good for her! She has had a good run so my suggestion is to just keep letting her make her own choices as long as she can. I certainly hope I don't live to be that old.

That's wonderful she's still lovin' life!

On the other end of the spectrum my Mom isn't doing very well at 87. Dementia sucks.

She looks healthy and happy. Let her life her life the way she wants to live.

It seems He has….and I hope continues to X 1000.

Let her go about her business in her own house as long as you think can. Moving to strange surroundings usually has a negative effect. Seems like quite a gal. I love her sweatshirt. 😁

7mmbuster nailed it perfectly. Bless you sir.

Looks like a happy woman. Good for her!

Bet she’d be a hoot to share a pot of coffee with!
Possible you don’t realize what a treasure some of these older folks are, but you and your wife are doing a great thing by helping her live as she enjoys. I’ll be keeping you all in my prayers.
She wouldn’t be herself in one of those old folks homes.
Dad went into the one in Bedford once a week to have lunch and visit with old friends.
He asked us about what we thought of him staying there.
We said, “Dad how long do you think you’d last. They’d throw your wrinkled azz out the first time you started changing oil in the Jeep!” I’d often get home from work, and he’d be, sure enough, on a creeper under something. I always made fun of him getting up. “If you’re too old to get up, maybe you shouldn’t get down”! A grin and “Screw you” was always the answer.
I can’t tell you the impact he had on us boys, some grandkids, and quite a few of his nieces and nephews. He left a heckuva big family behind, and not everybody was blood.
I bet this lady is the same way. Your doing a great thing by helping her!

Sorry man. Meant life not the car. Should have been more clear.

Lol, why not?

"Hey!! That's my Mom!!"

God bless her! My Dad lived in his home with his dog after my Mom passed away in 2017. He drove his own car (worried me sometimes) and did what he wanted. We visited him regularly and talked to him daily. I would take him for a drive followed by dinner wherever he wanted to eat every week. When he was 89 he fell in the bathtub and fractured his back. That was the beginning of the end. He died about a year later at 90. He loved to squirrel hunt. Luckily before he fell I was able to take him one last time. I carried his .410 and a seat for him so he could sit under a big shag bark hickory and doze off. No squirrels that day, but a ton of memories. Do your best to let her live as she wishes for as long as possible.

Ron

You are going to have to post a picture of her boat and motor before I make an offer.

She’s in too good of shape to run for Senate so that’s off the board!😂

We looked after my Mom's best friend (my "second mom") until she passed away at 97. She was mentally sharp until her last day and was always ahead of the curve. She gave me her car keys on her 90th birthday. Around that time she left her home and moved to a retirement home, but chose to buy one of their cottages (a nice two bedroom, fully equipped duplex). She could walk across the parking lot to the main building for meals if she wanted, but mostly made her meals at home. We took her shopping, to the doctors appointments and to the book store as she loved to read. She passed away one day after falling and breaking her hip. In our travels (and especially in the doctor's waiting rooms) we had many discussions about old age, dying and death. So I understood when her last words to me were, "just because I'm dying, doesn't mean that I have to feel pain."

So my thoughts to you. Have a lot of good discussions with her regarding end of life care and then support her desire for independent living for as long as that is reasonable possible, for her and for your wife.

She’s quite the lady and full of life. Let her live in it on her terms. I’ts all about quality of life. I spent 14 months in specialty hospitals and a nursing home after Covid - closest I’ve ever been to being incarcerated. Everybody wants to go home - earthly or heavenly. Found out health care is a money making business and it’s not in their best interest to rehab you or get you healthy. I met some wonderful caregivers and friends along this journey but I ‘ll do everything in my power not to die in one. You lose every shred of dignity. Dying is a part of living and is a transition. You will live forever- somewhere. You have a choice as to where. Billy Joe Shaver said best in his song “I’m Gonna Live Forever “. PS Ask her lots of questions about family that you always wanted to know before it’s too late.

My mom will be 90 at her birthday, She still mows her own grass with a push mower ....The women is tuff as nails and Hard headed...

Good for her and looks like she's got plenty of fuel left in the tank! God bless her!

I have enjoyed reading about the grand lady and many of the comments in this thread are golden. You will do the right things with and for her.

Let her be.

All she needs is looking after.
Get her the "Help I've fallen and can't get up" thing. If she will use it.

Maybe call her at bedtime, have a phone at the nightstand.
So you can sleep better.😉

If she want to go to an assisted place, encourage it.
If not, be quiet as long as possible.

People are so unique you can't make good decisions for others in these cases.
Some folks buy into these communities in their 70s and absolutely thrive on
the comradery anc activities. Others (more introverted?) Feel isolated and
are always homesick.

Mom is 84.
Can't really garden anymore, gets tired after a couple canners full...
She and 80 year old Dad would wither in a place like that.
Nothing to build, nothing to fix, no wood to cut, not welder, torch....
Dad would lose his mind.



Brutally honest time.
Looking after her is a PITA once in a while, I'm sure.
But it's right, you know it's right.
If you all pushed her into another place and it wasn't all roses.
If she degraded for any reason.
It would eat your conscience long after she is gone.

She sounds like a treasure!

dementia is a freaking nasty disease

Thoughts? Seems you guys are all doing things right. Thoughts on what, exactly? Keep up the good work?

This 100%