1. FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8-years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!

2. FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.


3. FREE PUPPIES..
Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog. Able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

4. FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat. Been out a while.
Better be a big reward.

5. COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

6. NORDIC TRACK
$300 Hardly used, call Chubby.

7. GEORGIA PEACHES
California grown - 89 cents/lb.

8. JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer $300.

9. WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.

And the best one?:

10. FOR SALE BY OWNER:
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition.
$1,000 or best offer. No longer needed,
Got married last month. Wife knows everything.

Saw this one in the Las Vegas classifieds:

For Sale- Tanning booth, exc. cond., selling to pay for skin cancer treatments.

#10 is my favorite.

I like the one that goes:

FOR SALE: Parachute. Used once. Never opened. Small stain.

There was one in our little weekly paper last week that read:

FOR Sale: Half bored goats.

(Pretty sure they meant Borer but could be correct as written.)


BCR

Probably meant Boer goats Boggy...

I saw this one once:

10 guage single shot, cheap. Fired once.

I like the ads selling Mouser rifles.

Or dooley pickups, or Chevy Blaziers, or Datsun puppies.

Or Forester dies and scopes with turrents.

Or when they write...."for sell"

I've seen a few ads for trucks with a wench on the front bumper. After a few miles in the back country, she's probably mean enough to pick the truck up and throw it out of the mud.

Whenever I go to a truck stop dinner and the waitress tells me they have "homade pies" I want to ask "which ho made em".

"Ithica" shotgun for sale

Saw one for free puppies. Mother was a black lab and daddy was a fence jumper. Looking at the pups I gambled that daddy just might also be a black lab. Wrong, wrong wrong. That black lab female got so darn big that daddy had to be a Great Dane. That dog stood about three feet at the shoulder and her head was at least 9" wide. We let her go to a ranch that wanted a few "big" dogs.
She did retrieve all right but then she'd run off and eat the birds. I couldn't break her of it so off to the ranch she went.

Paul B.

FOR SALE: Authentic French Army rifle. Good condition- dropped once, NEVER fired.

I saw an ad for a 30-06 with scope, like new, in box, two boxes of ammunition less 8 rounds fired. The price was cheap, very cheap.

The owner lived in a high rise downtown. Hmmm. Tall, lean young man. My mind kept asking, "Why is he selling it so cheap?" As I picked up the rifle he asked, "Have you ever shot one of these?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Well," he said, "I want you to know that this one REALLY KICKS."

Hmmm. He told me he was a an indoor .22 target shooter and had bought the 06 on impluse, an impuse he obviously regretted.

I said that I'd take it but before I could fish out my money, he hesitated and said, "I just want to be sure that you realize this rifle REALLY, REALLY KICKS."

Mystery solved as to why he was getting rid of it!

Someone here was selling two cemetery plots and caskets, "never used".

Found this one on craigslist I would buy them but I only have a 3" lift.

"MONSTERS TIRES!!! 500.00 O.B.O

THEY ARE 38x15.50R16.5LT

5 LUG 3 1/4" - I THINK YOU MUST HAVE A 4INCH LIFT"

All are good!