I look after my 85 year old Mom and her 4 Sisters. The oldest is 91, and doesn't get around well. She's got dementia, a weak heart, and takes aricept, coumadin, norvasc and a couple other pills. I've got to wonder if the meds have an effect on her stomach or if it's just what my friends call "old rotten guts." Her Sisters think it's from what we feed her. They cut her portions back to a point where I think she should eat more. She hits the jackpot though, and they blame me for giving her too much food. I have opened every window in the house and both doors more than once on account of her.
Tonight, she got up from the dinner table, and about 4 feet from my position leaked one out just as I was taking a breath. I felt a sudden urge to find some air. I almost knocked her off her walker trying to get past her and out the front door. I got down the stairs and lost my supper. I managed to miss most of it, but we're having a gale and torrential rain right now and a bit blew back on my trousers (in slow motion of course) which are going around in my brand new front load washer right now. I got nailed by a skunk as a kid, and didn't feel as bad afterward. She cleaned my clock. I've got to wonder if it's another fun part of growing old that I get to look forward to or if it's from the meds. Every day is a new adventure taking care of family.
Think of it this way, thats 91 yrs of "who knows what" your smelling.
not to sound like an arse, but if yah find a solution would you let me know? my german shorthair can clear a building most of the time.....havent figured out what in the hell causes it unless he is eating some plant out in the yard......SOB has perfected "crop dusting" aswell which was funny the first time....7 months ago...
my 16 yr old daughter came to me beaming with pride and told me she cut one that made her boyfriend have to leave the room .i taught her good and i'm really proud of her. takes after her dad
styxhunter, You da man!
maddog
It is not by coincidence, that as your bowels begin to function poorly, your memory and sense of smell diminishes as well. Sort of a biological default, to preserve what dignity you have left. Those meds can be heck on the digestive process, as well.
A little yogurt will help the dog, don't know about the Aunt there Rob......but man you made me laugh!!!!!!!!!!
When Dorothy was having her problems with Crohn's Disease she could cut one that would knock a buzzard off a gut wagon. It's been better lately, though.
You painted a beautiful picture with your words, Rob.
Payback is a bitch.
Sum acidophiles might help. Poor Old Rotten Guts. I met a whitetail like that once.
just got the old lady with a silencer. she's cussing me from the other room as i type this the kids are getting a good laugh. she has no since of humor
I've still got the sour burps!
If it's Karma, I probably had it coming.
It's too bad you can't see those things wafting across the room so you could get a moving. Tomorrow, I think I'm going to buy a canary. Bird stops singing or starts jumpin up and down, I'm gone!
Mine don't stink. They quit about the same time I had my last sinus surgery---just a coincidence, I suppose.
not to sound like an arse, but if yah find a solution would you let me know? my german shorthair can clear a building most of the time.....havent figured out what in the hell causes it unless he is eating some plant out in the yard......SOB has perfected "crop dusting" aswell which was funny the first time....7 months ago...
I think it's in the German shorthair's genes. My former brother-in-law had one when I roomed with him many moons ago. Got so bad that I brought home my military gas mask and wore that from time to time. Man that dog could let one go!
I've seen bird hunters with a truck full of dogs driving home with all 4 windows down, and the hunters are the ones doing the panting. My last Labrador retriever could bust one, but I'd welcome one of his compared to the pasting my sinuses got today.
Stop it!
my ribs and stomach muscles can't take any more!
I married the most beautiful woman...and she is a real true lady...first class all the way. She's been great to me for 31 years of wedded bliss.
But man, can she ever fog the windows with green smudge sometimes.
I have concluded that the more gorgeous a woman is...the more rotten their emissions are.
I just put up with it,out of love.
She also lets me use her soiled tampons to attract bucks during the rut.
Don't laugh...I've got a 168 7/8 inch buck hanging on the wall that came in to get a sniff of one of those tampons.
I almost knocked her off her walker trying to get past her and out the front door. I got down the stairs and lost my supper.
Saying I laughed at this is a gross understatement.
My face wadded up and I started making that "GAK-GAK-GAK-GAK-GAK-GAK" noise for a good 20 seconds.
not to sound like an arse, but if yah find a solution would you let me know? my german shorthair can clear a building most of the time.....havent figured out what in the hell causes it unless he is eating some plant out in the yard......SOB has perfected "crop dusting" aswell which was funny the first time....7 months ago...
Awww...Quit complaining. Not only could my Rottweilers stink up the place when they farted, they usually looked at me as if I did it!
I'm off to my Mom's today to suggest a new diet approach. A little container of yogurt a day at least. Anyway, I've got to wash the Chinese food off the driveway if it didn't freeze during the night. I'm sure the paperboy this morning thought it was a fine how do you do.
Rob, It is hard for me to type through the tears, but I gotta tell you, you win the prize today. I have laughed till I wasn't making any noise anymore. Vaporlocked!
Good Lord, my shirt is wet from the tears, and something popped in my rib cage from laughing at this.... One of my proudest moments came when I made a buddy pull off the side of the road and lose his mexican feast we had just eaten.
When you find the cure, PLEASE tell wildswalker.
His dog can (and has) run folks out of the front yard.
I'm sure they don't.......they WREAK!!!.......
.
A good many medications will cause interesting flatus.
Hey Rob.
Thanks for taking care of your family.
Stuff like that matters more than 270 vs 30-06 debates.
BMT
One of my proudest moments came when I made a buddy pull off the side of the road and lose his mexican feast we had just eaten.
My friend still likes to laugh about making me yak going trout fishing one day. We just had greasy eggs and bacon at the worst diner within 50 miles, and got down the road a bit when he silently deflated and damn near killed me. I couldn't get the window down fast enough and blew bacon and eggs all over the inside of his truck. I was woozy the whole morning out on the river. The same friend also woke me up out of a dead sleep, making me believe our hotel was on fire. He's lying on his bed fanning away, laughing. I was half way to the door before I realized the building wasn't burning.
Rob,
Why the F aren't you in Hollywood?
Holy smithereens, I am short of breath. And I'm 44!!!!
The real life stuff I think is funny is just too mundane for folks today.
I missed this thread, but it was linked by Bristoe in another.
I'd say more but I'm leaving to get some Kleenex.
My friend still likes to laugh about making me yak going trout fishing one day. We just had greasy eggs and bacon at the worst diner within 50 miles, and got down the road a bit when he silently deflated and damn near killed me. I couldn't get the window down fast enough and blew bacon and eggs all over the inside of his truck. I was woozy the whole morning out on the river. The same friend also woke me up out of a dead sleep, making me believe our hotel was on fire. He's lying on his bed fanning away, laughing. I was half way to the door before I realized the building wasn't burning.
rob p, are you trying to say you're some kind of fart magnet in this thread
? Funny stuff man.
Get her a pair of scent lock sweats, when they are new and dry heat activated properly they can take a lot of punishment if you know what I mean. They actually work!
Oh Gawd!! Y'all are killin' me!! My boss is in the next room probably wondering why I'm gaggin' and snortin'.
rob_p: No kiddin' bro, there's a special place in heaven for folks like you that take care of their family like you are. I admire your dedication.
The real life stuff I think is funny is just too mundane for folks today.
hey rob p why don't you bring ol aunty down to Saratoga on june 18, an give Ingwe,Kamrad Les ,and Derby Dude pay back for all the crap they put on thread ..Elkhunter 76 willfill you in on details but don't tell those three
ANON.
We had a cousin over from New Hampshire for supper last night. My Aunts had about 10 candles going. The place looked like the La Salette shrine. She thought it was pretty! I knew their real purpose! I gave her the safety briefing and said that when my Aunt gets up from a chair, switch to shallow breathing until you know it's safe. I may be a little snake bit right now, but my body still remembers the experience. I was definitely not created for elder care but there's no one else here to do it.
I have to take the one with emphysema to the breathing clinic this afternoon. Cooking, errands, housework, yard work, I can do but spending hours on end with them gets old. You know, I've got perfect hearing, and they listen to the tv turned all the way up and yell out everything they say. I have an acute sense of smell, and they leak and squeak all day long. Sometimes I feel like a bloodhound in a cheese factory. I get in a classroom full of wild little kids sometimes and welcome the change of venue. Oh yeah, I'm going to fizzle out early from stress.
Rob God bless you for what you are doing for your Aunts and for making us laugh!
You've got to realize, my Dad died in a bar fight when I was 3. My Mom was 45 when I was born and her aging family took care of my Brother and me. They bought our food, clothes, paid our bills, and sent both of us to college, and me to grad school. My aunt with all the gas, moved in with us after my Dad died and lived with us until I went away to college. I've taken them out to eat every Saturday night since I got my driver's license and taken care of their cars, lawns, houses... Now they're old (real old) and have more needs. There were 11 of them. Now there's 5 and I've got them all in the same house so it's not bad. I do what I do because it's a Son's responsibility and they all have done a lot for me. I still like to make light of it though. It seems less arduous.
Case in point. Two of them are always cold, and sleep all day. I bought them both bright sweaters from Peru with all the sequins and bead work for Christmas complete with the little hats with the ear flaps. They're old and have dementia and don't really do much other than sit there, so I brighten them up a little bit. The nurses come to draw their blood and give them long stares! I love stuff like that.
Like I said God bless you for what you are doing!
You've got to realize, my Dad died in a bar fight when I was 3. My Mom was 45 when I was born and her aging family took care of my Brother and me. They bought our food, clothes, paid our bills, and sent both of us to college, and me to grad school. My aunt with all the gas, moved in with us after my Dad died and lived with us until I went away to college. I've taken them out to eat every Saturday night since I got my driver's license and taken care of their cars, lawns, houses... Now they're old (real old) and have more needs. There were 11 of them. Now there's 5 and I've got them all in the same house so it's not bad. I do what I do because it's a Son's responsibility and they all have done a lot for me. I still like to make light of it though. It seems less arduous.
Case in point. Two of them are always cold, and sleep all day. I bought them both bright sweaters from Peru with all the sequins and bead work for Christmas complete with the little hats with the ear flaps. They're old and have dementia and don't really do much other than sit there, so I brighten them up a little bit. The nurses come to draw their blood and give them long stares! I love stuff like that.
not many MEN would take on what you do man ,i doubt that i could blessings on you.
God will bless you for doing the hard stuff. I took care of my in - laws (who were absolutely wonderful people) for 3 years, through dementia and physical decline, and it is a difficult, though rewarding endeavor. My wife's aunt (who was never married)also needed some help due to dementia and finances. She was alone, and living on cat food when we moved her to our house. Though odd, she was frugal with her own needs, and generous with others, What goes around, comes around.
Stop it!
my ribs and stomach muscles can't take any more!
You got stomach muscles?
if our trails ever cross Rob the beer is on me (I mean I'll pay for it, don't want you to hurl it on me if I pass a lil gas)
kudos to you man
no one ever said doing the right thing would be the easy thing
Rob, yer one helluva a guy!
rob,
God bless you for taking care of your family! He blessed you with them to take care of you when you needed it, and you are blessing them with your care.
You have my deepest respect! And you can laugh about it!
I'd like to shake your hand someday.
Ed
I missed this the first time around but wanted to give it a BTT because it made me laugh so hard I had tears poppin' outta my eyes like 9mm cases out of a Glock.....
Not sure Rob P, but I think you
can see some of those things.
Sort of a shimmering haze that just hangs in the air,
!
3-D glasses might help to see them better,
. Would give one the possibility of an end run around it, when vacating the area.
if our trails ever cross Rob the beer is on me (I mean I'll pay for it, don't want you to hurl it on me if I pass a lil gas)
kudos to you man
no one ever said doing the right thing would be the easy thing
Yeah, that.
I married the most beautiful woman...and she is a real true lady...first class all the way. She's been great to me for 31 years of wedded bliss.
But man, can she ever fog the windows with green smudge sometimes.
I have concluded that the more gorgeous a woman is...the more rotten their emissions are.
I just put up with it,out of love.
About a year in to our life togeather, we were ling in bed watching the weather channel she had dozed off and let one go that woke her up she looks over at me and say that was rude you need to go to the other room, to this day she still denies blaiming me fore her noxious emission.
I knew guys when I was in the USArmy that could release
the worst gas when in formation of a PT run. About knock
you down.
I knew guys when I was in the USArmy that could release
the worst gas when in formation of a PT run. About knock
you down.
Running formation behind the guy who spent the night before choking down kimchee and beer was pretty rough.........
Oh yeah, I spent a year in the ROK.
My brother in law would complain about some ofthe accidents his Father in Law had in his later years. One day I told him if he is lucky enough to live long enough he may have some of the same problems. I agree with all who have complimented anyone who takes the time and has the expense of careing for them. My Mom would say take csre of your parents and family and God will bless you. She lived by that and got to be 94. My two cents. Kotzy