As luck would have it i am sobering up on a friends couch. Left our trucks at the bar and walked to his house. Just wanted to say thankyou to everyone at the fire, i just mainly lurk but have read a great deal at this forum. I have found great pleasure of being a member of this forum! I usually dont post much as i feel i dont have a lot to offer. I have really been tested through my years ( i know i am a youngin) but i believe i am getting ready for my first divorce. Dont really know what to say but thank you during these troubling times.

Well good on you for walking home and not driving,
Stay busy during troubled times , they'll pass , night time will be the issue, laying awake and thinking too much about nothing
Either fix it or go
Best of luck with whatever happens

When you get real down, pick up a Bible and open it anywhere and start reading.

Remember, many have been in your shoes, and many more will be.

Stop and think. You're so drunk you had to walk to a friend's house and sober up on his couch. Reckon this has any bearing on your impending divorce? Maturity (not the same thing as age) would probably help a lot. Eyeball is spot on with his advice.

I suspect Tommy may sober up and wonder WTF he was thinking on this post.

Can't say that I haven't been in his shoes before, being drunk and doing goofy things.

"1st divorce?" Man there may not have to be one, let alone more.


Don't know the cause and effect sequence of marital problems and drinking either, but either way, let's let this thread fade away.

Hoping for the best, bro.

Tommy;
Women come and go, some times the problem is you and sometimes it's her. The only problem you are responsible for and the only problem you can solve is you.
If this drinking problem is a frequent occurance I'd suggest AA. You would be amazed at the number of people who have gone thru the same set of problems and have come out the other side knowing how to find their way with out the help of booze.
Good thinking on walking home, maybe those steps will be the first steps of a journey to peace and serenity.

Good Luck

Jim

I've been there but it was for another reason. All I was suggesting is that he think about things and perhaps ponder if he's acting wisely. Did the same thing myself and had to admit that I was not wise.

Perhaps you're right, though. Maybe all of us should stay out of it and just let him destroy himself. Who needs advice?

Drinking helps.

Good luck!


Travis

That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever read.


Travis

You can learn alot during your 1st divorce.
Good luck.

Good luck on that upcoming event Travis!

WHAT?

Dang Mickey, I was just hoping to cut him some slack on the drunken stuper.

If he gets a sober chance to ask for advice, that's a different story.

But historically, open forums and marriage issues don't mix.

Even then, eyeball gave him #1 already.

Considering you, I'm not surprised.

Jim

Even more during your 2nd and after the 3rd you'll be a Rhodes Scholar

Later on I was wondering if maybe I had read you wrong. I'm relieve to know that I did and apologize for my "catty" remark on the end. I've been knee walking drunk before and after many years I have decided that drinking is not the way for me. Others have to walk by the light they have but it ain't for me.

A close friend was once a teacher and later in life one of his students was shot and killed after a night of drinking. Not sure what started the argument but my friend made a statement that has stuck with me. He said, "Very few good things happen after midnight and nothing good comes from being in a beer joint." Drunks can argue the finer points of this philosophy but my personal take on it is I am in complete agreement.

It will be a success. She already understands I don't listen to anything unless I'm saying it and I've only been wrong once.


Travis

I'm thinking most habitual drunks don't walk home when they have a vehicle.


Do they Travis?

and what was her name?

She got a sister under 300lbs?

Hang in there Tommy. I remember my first divorce. Dayum, that was tough.

Tommy:

Do not - DO NOT - post one more single thing about divorce, your marriage or your wife on this forum or in any other social media.

When you wake up, call a divorce lawyer. (And he'll tell you the same thing.)

Good luck.

Good move, Tommy, on not driving. Sorry to hear about the dissolution. With time that will pass. Like Eyeball said, the Bible sure helps...it helped me. A friend recommended I start with the book of James. All the best,

RH

Find an LEO vehicle to whack and that'll get you a little more attention!!

This is also good advice.

I recall coming into a Denny's once up in Seattle and seeing a bunch of guys I knew from a church activity I was part of... being by myself, they insisted I come sit with them... must have been 12 to 14 guys there already...

they were busy trying to counsel one of the guys who was considering getting divorced from his wife of 20 years, because he had started banging this 20 something chick that worked at the dance studio he owned...

That lead him to start finding fault with everything his wife did, no matter how small, and the conversation just migrated in that direction.. guys complaining about women and being married... I just sat back and watched the floor show..

Finally one of the guys who was always MR "Lady's Man" at the church chimes in with his 'wisdom'... he goes off on his 'expertise' on the subject since no women from the church were around...

So after we endure a 15 minute lecture from him, I have to make a comment, that I don't think he is offering the guy, or anyone else any good advise.... and what makes him such an expert on the subject of women?

he gets all pissed off and announces to the group.. " I know all about women, there isn't a thing about them I can't tell ya! I've been married and divorced 3 times!!"

I couldn't resist... so I tell him, "That is like you claiming to be THE perfect driver, and your reason being, you've own and wrecked 3 cars"...

everyone started laughing, and he just turned red, told me "F.U." and walked out...

sorry but that is just how I saw it...

Leo Tolstoy wrote in his famous first line of his novel Anna Karenina:

"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

By that sentence, Tolstoy meant that, in order to be happy, a marriage must succeed in many different respects: sexual compatibility, agreement about money, children/stepchildren, religion, in-laws, and other vital issues. Failure in any one of those essential respects can doom a marriage even if it has all the other ingredients needed for happiness.

We tend to seek easy, single-factor explanations of success in all areas of life, but particularly in marriage. But success actually requires avoiding many separate possible causes of failure; or if they can't be avoided, learning how to fix those failures so the rest of the good aspects of the marriage can be maintained.

never let a woman make you a drunk, to many of them available to cry over one.

Amen.


P.S. Getting them drunk and trying them out first is a good plan, though.

That's what this is all about.

I don't know sir. I don't fraternize with that ilk.



Travis

Just what the world needs. Another picky sumbitch.


Travis

Excellent post! We are working through just that, even after over twenty years of marriage.

Marriage requires constant adjustment as each partner changes.

Eyeball has some great advice there, along with tjm10025.

You post that you "believe you are getting ready for your first divorce". That speaks volumes about what "may" be and what "will" be.

I hope you can find some wise counsel there. As good as friends are, they probably aren't the ones to give the best advice because their point of view is "subjective", not "objective".

Best wishes.

Ed

What a crock of horseschit. Relationships should not be work. If it is, get out.


Travis

On this I agree with Burgundy...
I always hear people talk about how much "work" it requires to maintain a marriage. While I agree marriage is a fluid, changing thing, it for damn sure shouldn't be a job!

Man, I just can't help but shake my head at the self righteous
asshats here. I don't believe smugness is a virtue.

There are some real ass holes out there.


Travis

AA is for quitters

Ha! It ain't just this thread brother. And we're all guilty of it at some point.

Unless we're talkin 270 vs 30-06. Then there's a definite right and wrong answer.

Well reading this after one wakes up without my coffee yet has me scratching my head thinking, what was i thinking?#! Never really had a drinking problem but my buddy and I decided to cut loose last night. I remember typing this discussion but the intent was to say thanks to the fine folks at the fire. Not sure why i decided to post what i am going through here. Never the less i know my journey in life will have its ups and downs but it is through faith that i am at my crossroads in life.

Glad you posted bro.

Nothing like a good mind clearing drinking session to snap yourself out of a funk.
Life is a highway.
You'll be fine.

Good luck

Exactly. Every man is entitled to cut loose once in a while. You did the right thing too, by not driving.

No harm, no foul. You will survive this, as well as a whole lot of other sh1t life is gonna throw at you.

Keep the faith.

I thought I was wrong once but I was mistaken.

No advice,...just a song.

Filipinos and Filipinas do the menial chores in Jeddah. A bunch of my Filipino friends cracked-up at the story of the old sheik who was walking in the garden with his son and just-married grandson.

"How fortunate you are!" he said to his grandson. "For you, sex is ninety-five percent enjoyment and only five percent work. For me, it's five percent enjoyment and ninety-five percent work."

"For me, it's about fifty percent work and fifty percent enjoyment," the young man's father said.

One of the Filipino gardeners muttered to the other "They're both wrong. If there were any work to it, they'd have us doing it for 'em."

+1 Ken, got me to laughing at this hour of the AM!