One dead atleast ine seriously wounded. Rip brother

Wnep

Wonder what was going on???

Damn! Fratricide maybe??? No arrests?? Suspects???

Article says "shooting"..... you say "ambush".

Sounds like you know more than you're sayin'.

Gitem is a Cop in Pa. Likely does know more but cannot say anything as yet.

i just saw that on the local news. i wonder if it was a domestic that spilled over into work?

Another link

Yahoo

Very sad day, one dead and another seriously wounded. Shooter is still unknown.

I always thought if I was going to be killed, it would have been walking out the station door.

The perps are likely NYC related druggies living in one of those gang related compounds in the Poconos. Likely a revenge shooting.

-----------------------

Who are they ?

Prayers on the way.

BAD deal. So sorry to hear of the loss of another brother.

UPDATE: one POI In custody and being questioned

Sorry to hear this hope they find the perp. Prayers for the troopers and their families.

Well, at least we know it wasn't terrorists.

Gangs Infiltrating Pocono Mountains Region

Published August 06, 2006
Associated Press
FOX News


TOBYHANNA, Pa. � When New Yorkers and Philadelphians want to get away from the noise and crowds, they often come to the Pocono Mountains of northeastern Pennsylvania.

It's a bucolic, tourist-friendly place of forests and streams and lakes, a place where you can play a round of golf, take in a show, angle for trout or simply lose yourself on a country road.

A place where a Crip or a Blood would seem ... out of place.

Yet, jarringly, they are here: gang members from New York City and its suburbs who authorities say have quietly taken up residence in some of the private, gated communities of the Poconos, where they can stake out new drug turf with little interference from municipal or state police.

Many of these gang members are teenagers and young adults, brought here by their parents to escape big-city crime but instead bringing crime with them � creating fear and resentment among long-established residents.

"We're trying to stop the problem before it becomes overwhelming," said state police Maj. Joseph T. Marut, whose command includes much of the Poconos.

While the crime rate is still relatively low and gang violence has flared only sporadically, gang members have already made their presence felt in ways that frustrate and frighten the law-abiding majority.

Early on Jan. 14, police sirens awakened Susan Yanni and her neighbors in A Pocono Country Place, one of the region's largest private communities. Down the street, in a white Colonial, a wild melee had erupted between Crips and Bloods, and a reputed Blood was stabbed in the abdomen and forearm, authorities say.

Months later, Yanni shakes her head at the violence.

"It's getting too close to my backyard," said Yanni, 54, a school bus driver who has lived in the development for nearly two decades. "If I really want to deal with this, I can go back to New York."

___

New Yorkers and Philadelphians first sought out the cool breezes of the Pocono Mountains after the Civil War, discovering that a short train ride could deliver them from the heat, humidity and summer stench of the city.

Soon after, grand Victorian resorts catered to the emerging middle class. Later, there were summer camps for the kids and quiet retreats for labor unions and religious denominations; then, after World War II, ski lodges and resorts for singles, newlyweds and budget-minded families. The Poconos claimed the mantle of "Honeymoon Capital of the World," becoming a capital of kitsch in the 1960s and '70s with the introduction of the heart-shaped bathtub.

Many city folk liked the Poconos so much they built vacation homes, which gave rise to gated communities with their own pools and clubhouses and private security. In recent years, these same communities in northeastern Pennsylvania have lured year-round residents from New York and New Jersey � thousands of them � who found good schools, cheap housing, low taxes and safer neighborhoods. The population of Monroe County, at the heart of the Poconos, has more than tripled since 1970.

So, while tourism remains a lifeblood of the region's economy, the Poconos have also emerged as a bedroom community for New York. And that has created its own unique set of challenges � including one that threatens to undermine the very reason city dwellers want to move here.

With so many commuting to jobs in New Jersey and New York, teenage children are left unsupervised for hours at a time after school. Bored teens who have little to keep them occupied can be easy pickings for gang recruiters, experts say.

"People who moved from New York and New Jersey into the gated communities, some of the youngsters decided they were going to get together and try to imitate the gangs," said Marut, the state police commander. "From there, it kind of mushroomed, with outside people coming in from New York City who were actual gang members trying to organize people."

Bloods, Crips, Latin Kings and MS13, a Latino gang, all have a presence here, authorities say. As of early August, 61 confirmed or suspected gang members were locked up in Monroe County Prison � up from just 25 at the end of last year.

Gang members know that gated communities are not patrolled by state troopers or municipal police, but by private contractors. Because these communities are private property, police may enter only under specific circumstances, such as pursuit of a fleeing suspect.

The limited police presence has made some private communities "almost safe havens for gangs," said Stephen Washington, chief of staff to state Rep. John Siptroth, D-Monroe. "Because of the efforts of urban areas to stamp down on gangs, (gang members) are leaving to come to the Poconos, where life is much easier for them."

Determining how many of them are here is a nearly impossible task. Gang members do not typically inform on one another and experts say there is a large transient population that shuttles back and forth between New York and the Poconos.

And because the region is so big, encompassing 2,400 square miles in four counties, gangs are spread out and there are few battles over turf.

But occasionally, disputes among gang members turn violent:

_In the Pine Ridge development last summer, a suspected teenage member of the Crips fired three shots at a 16-year-old suspected Blood, hitting him once, according to state police.

_The owners of a Pike County riding stable say they were attacked by Crips last August in a dispute over a parking space at a local deli. The victims were an elderly couple and their adult daughter. The daughter, who spoke on condition of anonymity because she fears another attack, said she suffered a fractured jaw and numerous lacerations, her father's cheek was split open, and her mother was roughed up.

_Ambulance driver Debbie Kulick responded to a large gang melee in which a teenager was severely beaten. With state police a 20-minute drive away, she said she feared for her safety.

"When I'm stuck in the middle with 25 people on one side, 30 people on the other side, that doesn't sit well with me," said Kulick, a township supervisor.

___

At A Pocono Country Place, a mini-metropolis of more than 10,000 residents, some longtime residents complain that investors are buying up homes and renting them out, paying little attention to tenants' backgrounds. Homeowners complain that some renters allow their children to run wild and generally have little regard for the community.

Jerry and Debbie Kelly, who moved to A Pocono Country Place from Brooklyn 16 years ago in search of better public schools for their children, say neighborhood toughs wearing red bandannas � red is the color of the Bloods � beat up their then-teenage son a few years ago because he was wearing a red jacket.

Fed up with what was happening, they put their house up for sale, and their teenage daughter isn't allowed to roam the neighborhood by herself.

Jerry Kelly said he is not just worried about her safety. "I don't want my daughter to come home one night with a red bandanna hanging out of her pocket," he said.

The manager of A Pocono Country Place � the setting of another gang riot last fall in which one person was stabbed � did not return phone calls seeking comment.

Down the street from the Kellys is the white Colonial where police say reputed Crip Allah Johnson stabbed a reputed Blood, Anthony Richbow, on Jan. 14. Johnson, 20, was initially charged with attempted homicide; he pleaded guilty in June to aggravated assault and awaits sentencing.

Some residents say that however menacing the young thugs who roam the neighborhood may be, they are not inducted gang members.

"They're a bunch of people who got bullied in New York and they are trying to come here and make a name for themselves," said Robert Ryales, 16, a former Jersey City, N.J., resident who lives a few doors down from the Kellys.

Ryales, who said he witnessed the Richbow stabbing, said he's been asked to join gangs "but it's so dumb. They don't really know the truth about gangs."

Alex Kuna, 19, of Bushkill, said he knew plenty of teenage thugs in high school who were rumored to be gang members. But he derides them as "fake" and "wannabes." They might have worn gang colors, Kuna said, but "if they were real, they wouldn't be here."

But law enforcement officials insist that gangs are a growing menace � especially in private communities, of which there are dozens in the Poconos.

"You have a lot of denial: 'Oh, not here, they're wannabes,'" said Pike County Sheriff Philip Bueki. "That's not the way to go about it."

___

Authorities are looking at ways to halt the growth of gangs.

State police, who provide most of the police coverage in the Poconos, have assigned undercover and vice officers to work the gang beat, opened a substation in western Monroe County to improve response times, and perform saturation patrols of municipalities where gang members are known to be concentrated.

Siptroth, the state lawmaker, wants Gov. Ed Rendell to add even more state troopers to the Poconos. He's also considering introducing legislation that would empower state police to enforce the state Vehicle Code in private communities, something they are not currently permitted to do.

However, legislation is tricky because a number of laws already on the books, including the Uniform Planned Community Act and the Vehicle Code, would have to be amended, said Washington, Siptroth's chief of staff.

Private developments themselves have taken steps to reduce crime. At The Hideout, a sprawling development in Wayne County, guests who violate the development's rules and regulations aren't allowed back; renters convicted of committing a crime in the development are evicted; and homeowners who break the rules face stiff fines. The development also works closely with state police.

"The problem that some of the communities have is they don't embrace the Pennsylvania State Police as they should," said Hideout manager Ralph Graf, a retired New York City police detective. "It's a property value issue. You don't want to have the state police respond on a regular basis and have Realtors steer buyers away from that community."

Graf said crime has plummeted in The Hideout from a few years ago, when, in one highly publicized case, nearly 20 people were arrested on drug charges. Drug-dealing is attractive because criminals can fetch higher prices in the Poconos than in New York City, where there is a more plentiful supply, authorities say.

"They felt that once they came inside the gates (of The Hideout) it was a protected environment for whatever they wanted to be involved with," Graf said.

Law enforcement officials agree with Graf that many image-conscious homeowners associations are anxious to keep the problem out of the public eye.

"The biggest problem we have is denial and ignorance," said Pocono Mountain Regional Police Officer Eric Uhler, a gang specialist. "Private communities don't want the word out that there are gangs because it scares prospective buyers away."

Sorry for your loss. May he RIP.

Prayers going out to the families and let's hope the police in those areas handle this the way Germans did back in the 1940s.

I'am willing to bet it was a local $hitbag redneck that had several a run in with troopers from that barracks. Could be wrong but that would be my guess. Those New York gangs don't want a war with the State Police.

Your schtick is misplaced here.

RIP, Brother. Prayers up for the injured Trooper and the families, blood and badge.

Ed

Gang stuff, someone making their bones, could be a possibility. Killing a cop, big bones there.

A lot of heat. Bad for business. When was the last time you heard of a U.S. gang shooting up a police station?

Naaa, something else is going on here....

This happened right at shift change. I'm thinking one of them was the target.

I hate to say it, but the shooter could be a jealous husband. I hope not but it is a possibility. Otherwise I think a grudge from an arrest/trial is possible.

" Jealous Husband" Is the info that I am receiving.

No schtick at all. Every time a police officer has to rough someone up(such as the recent news about the officer knocking over the paraplegic in the wheelchair) and folks complain about it, police officers and supporters like me claim that what appears to be an over reaction is due to civilians being out to kill them so they have to do what they do. Sounds like it is time for the police to even the score with the community and restore the respect and fear that has obviously slipped to the wayside.

Say it ain't so................

MM

sounds like Fort Apache in the Bronx

Your passive-aggressive schtick gets more amusing the longer you skulk around. My hope is that one day your balls will drop and you'll be able to actually stand your ground and argue your beliefs like a man.

Until such time you remain a useless twat who isn't fit to shine the boots of the fallen.

RIP Trooper.

George

Actually, civilians are only good for performing menial tasks for police.


Why bad mouth me? I only support police officers on issues that police support fellow officers. Seems a bit odd that you would not appreciate that considering it is something you do daily.

One 'nem fuggin' Terminators must be loose again,...

That troop barracks is apparently surrounded by state forest land, and thoughts are the shooter concealed himself in the woods and fired from concealment

The responding medics were also underfire

Link with dispatch transcripts

RIP Trooper and wishing a speedy recovery for the wounded one. That barracks covers the area where my lake house is, I also go by it on my way to my Catskill property, pretty quiet area. Most of the land along Rt. 402 is SGL or Delaware State Forest (80,000 acres). The only contact I've ever had with troopers from that barracks is when my parents T-boned a guy who blew a stop sign, troopers called and they followed the fallen off parts to the house of the driver, excellent job. Rt. 402 is a one lane road in each direction (N&S), only escape would be Rt. 84 or the woods.

If he or she hung around to fire on the medics then the shooter must know the surrounding woods well enough to navigate an escape at night. 402 would have been sealed off to get out by car by then one would think.

That's even more disturbing. Bad enough to ambush some LEOs, but then to wait around and fire on the first responders? Wow, that's a special kind of evil IMO.

I've been under fire more as a medic that I did working LEO.

30-30 to the radiator in a old Chevy van ambulance will drive up the pucker factor.

They didn't want us to render aid to the guy they already put the effort into shooting.

That blows my mind!

Backwoods Michigan, it was like the Hatfields and McCoys.

Meanwhile back in the city, one of Detroit's finest citizens put a gun to my head and told me I better save the guy I was working on, that he shot no less, because the dude owed him money. When my partner slipped up and said the guy was already dead, homey did his damndest to make good on his threat, but thankfully his trigger finger wasn't as fast as my oxygen tank upside his head.

I won't get started on the medical calls that turned out to be domestics.

It's a phuq'd up world, chief.

Shooter used a .308 rifle

Bad ju-ju my friend. I hope they are able to get the perpetrator hemmed in pretty quick.

Now they have their excuse to come for our scoped hunting rifles that they'll call 'cop killing sniper's rifles' - counting down 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

I'm sure that's exactly what the plan is. Were you born an idiot, or did you grow into one.

I'd have to agree. For this turd to shoot two troopers and wait to fire on medics just tells me it's a local boy with a screw loose.

I thought the same thing until I learned that the guy stuck around to fire on medics. If you wanted someone dead for hitin your wife, it would take an especially big set of balls to stick around and try to kill anyone who might save the troopers life.

Damn it...glad you were quick on the draw with that O/2 Tank...

I won't make it sound too impressive.

The guy was stoned, (you know, on that drug that doesn't make people violent) and had trouble finding the trigger. He actually turned around like he was embarrassed/mad he couldn't make his bangy thingy work.

Once he figured it out, after putting one into the ceiling, he turned and had his subconscious liberated.

My heart goes out for the troopers and their families. I hope they zip this nut job up before he hurts anyone else.

RWE,

Aint Detroit wonderful? grin

The newspaper article stated the deceased trooper had a sincere passion for DUI enforcement. Definitely wasn't making any friends in that region.

http://wnep.com/2014/09/16/reports-zeroing-in-on-suspect/

It says they believe they found the shooter's Jeep. If so it's just a matter of hours likely, before they get to him.

http://wnep.com/2014/09/16/state-police-name-suspect-in-trooper-slaying/

If that's true of the motive then my original thoughts were very close to being true. A home grown kook with misplaced anger.

Zero doubt the dead trooper arrested the shooter at some point in his career.



Travis

Not into speculation much, but I'd put money on that.

A DWI arrest, loss of job or other issues as a result, next thing you know, sherp.

Here is who they are looking for:

http://wnep.com/2014/09/16/state-police-name-suspect-in-trooper-slaying/

Very good possibility, but him hanging around to continue shooting others leaves questions in my mind. Heard that someone who heard the shots said they believed they heard up to 20-30 shots fired. Unless he used a AR-10 type 308, that's a few reloadings. Anyone with an ounce of sanity who wanted this particular trooper dead, would have fired and GTF outta there. Not this boy, he fired at EMS folks which means he hung around.

Betting the farm he is a white supremacist.

In that area that's a very good bet.

If that link is accurate I was wrong.

Damn. First time for everything.



Travis

That Peter Pan lookin' fugg has Hitler Youth written all over him.



Travis

Speculation running rampant up in heah!

If you're not going to speculate, don't post.



Travis

Press already has him as a survivalist. Whatever the hell that is. With military training.

Hold on to your deer rifles fellas. Holder and company will soon be knocking on your door.

He tried ditching his jeep in a pond, problem was it wasn't deep enough. According to Noonan, this guy has had a long hatred for police and PSP esprcially, hates the way cops act etc etc...basically the guy sounds like TRH and Rovering, And a couple others all rolled into one

In the city, they are just called homeless.

Not anyone in particular, but would anyone here be surprised to hear of one of our own doing something similar with all their ranting ? I know I wouldn't. Not when your preoccupation with hating cops is as intense as some of schitt I've read here.

Well, isn't this just conveniently coincidental to support Hussein, Holder, & Co., naming "lone wolf radicals", "sovereign citizens", and "anti-police/anti-government individuals" as the major terror threats to the US? Oh, and it'll fall right in line with Harry Reid's calls to do something about "military grade sniper rifles" after the Bundy fiasco.

They are using ALL the buzz words with this guy. I've read 'survivalist', that he had a 'common deer hunting rifle in 308', that they 'found military equipment in his vehicle', that he 'might have prior military service' and that the 308 rifle he has 'might look like an AK-47'

Of course they are. How else can they advance the agenda?

Surely they won't come after my 30-06.

I mean, its a Weatherby and not some military job.

There, justified in my own mind.

Don't care.

Maybe all the Yankee Elmer Fudd's will realize that they will not stop at their deer rifles, but I'm doubting it.

Exactly. That defines many a Yankee 'conservative'

They won't. The unions will promise them that it isn't the case, secure votes for the socialists again, and the parade continues merrily along.

They only seem to care when a hood rat gets shot.

This time it's a cop (have to insure allegiance from all the badges), and the shooter fits the profile of what .gov wants labelled as a terrorist.

Except pa is a right to work State, and outside of Philly unions really don't mean schit here

Add hand loading and hand loaders to their targets, given all the mentions of shell casings and shell casings at his home. They want ammunition control as much as gun control.

Here comes Obama's big speech with all of his law enforcement represented behind him to get those cop killer rifles and secret assassination ammunition out of the hands of domestic terrorists.

Yep, you're right. There is no union strength in Pittsburgh, or Scranton, or Wilkes-Barre; none in the oil/gas construction areas; none in coal mining.

Putside of p burgh, scranton and Philly. There isn't a lot of Union strength. Majority of gas and oil companies here aren't union either.

Unless the law was just recently changed in PA, it is not a right-to-work state.

http://www.nrtw.org/rtws.htm

So, all those guys driving dozers, loaders, graders, lifts, and trucks, and all those welders, electricians, pipe fitters, etc., sporting union patches on their jackets and stickers on their trucks are frauds?

Good to know.

Aside from pipeline companies. No the majority of oulfield companies around here are non union


Hell aside from municipal govt employees. And the pipeline companies, we don't have a union shop in our County

Well, we know who play him in the movie...

Likely not much else for employment in that county, either.

Then again, it must just be all those fake union members again.

We are a largely farming county, lots of loggers, self run excavating companies, truck owner operators, a few larger factories. But by far the gas industry is the largest Employer

Man...don't empower these fruits. They feel big just talking to you.

Feeling big, huh? That's rather insulting, Pat.

Tell me again about the union votes and union members in PA?

Whacha wanna know?

Well, if you aren't going to ignore me, then don't ignore me.

Don't feel special. I ignore lots of people, but toggle them all. It's my way of remembering.

You're missing out.

I bet.

10 bucks it is a Remington pump. (amish assault rifle)

Lol. I was thinking it might be a VEPR

There is a good reason Pa. Has more NRA members than any other state in the union. We get the big picture.

I hope it was a Pennsylvania Trooper with a wicked left hook that set his beak over to that one side.

Piece of sheet.

If not, I hope one sets over to the other side with a right hook.

I like the way you think.

Your hope is all too likely a fact.

If it was a trooper that broke the murderer's nose, it is also surely a contributing factor to why one is dead and another lies dieing.

Police abuse only incites such people to violence.

A broken nose does no good and much harm when a long stay in a mental institution is what is actually needed.

Objection. Speculation on the part of the witness.

There are very few mental institutions left, and damned near impossible to have someone committed.

My first thought, after reading that goofball post, was to say that "if" Roverings grandmother had balls, she'd have been his grandaddy.

They unionize meter maids and grocery store cashiers here.

Our local TWO officer police force tried to organize with the teamsters. That was right before we got rid of our police force in the township.

Exactly who was trying to organize that caused this shooting?

Getting back to the topic....... it seems to me the cops are between a rock and a hard place.

If they get aggressive enough to kill or capture this guy, they will almost certainly lose a couple more of their members.

I'd say it's even money that an ordinary citizen takes him down.

Everbuddy watch the hell out! Bristoe done got a holt of Travis' password!

Sycamore

I don't see any "rock or hard place" whatsoever. This POS is a coward and I'm betting he isn't getting much sleep. I only hope that an "ordinary citizen" doesn't get caught in the crossfire.

Thankfully your posts are able to bring reason and well thought action to the situation.

Kudos.

Obligatory photo support:

Cops will get him.

Last time the were not expecting him. Next time they will be ready. We'll see how crooked face does when he's not shooting someone in the back.

I suspect he will either shoot himself or surrender. Cowards surrender, control freaks shoot themselves. Only the truly righteous fight, and I see nothing justified or righteous in crooked face.

Of course the shooter wasn't "justified or righteous" in ambushing the two cops.

But........ it's what's in HIS mind that will determine his actions going forward. Based on his previous actions, he very well may shoot any cop that closes on him.

I sure as hell wouldn't put on a uniform and go into the brush after him, and I doubt the cops are doing that. THAT would be the type of "aggressive action" I had in mind when I made my comment.

Ditching his jeep means one of two things as I see it:

He has an accomplice who got him out of the area, or.....

He has no intention of escaping, and just wants to kill more cops.

Either way, waiting him out has little chance of success.

His timing absolutely sucks. For a survivalist he oughta know that the weather changes are on the way and unless he has a secure place WITHIN a town he is screwed. So he would almost certainly need accomplice(s). If he tries to stay in the wild, he is in for big problems. The Cops will get him. They HAVE TO!! Even if he chooses to make his "glorious last stand" he is a dead man.

As someone once said, "Pennsylvania is Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with Alabama in between"

And yet, PA and her unions loyally went for Hussein Obama twice, and by a comfortable margin both times.

Half my family is from PA.

Union to the bone.

And have a Republician Governor, Senate, and House. It just doesn't make sense sometimes. Maybe the dead only votes in presidential elections.

I think he is well aware he's a "dead man walking". I don't think he cares as long as he can kill more cops.

Nope. I'm fresh out of complaints and I had a bagel with breakfast.

Sorry.



Travis

That's mighty Jewish of you.

That about sums it up!

Danks...



Travis

Nah, If you were Jewish, you'd be complaining.

"My bagel is cold. The cream cheese isn't fresh. What is it with these roundabouts, they're crazy meshuggah."

I'd also have a huge nose.



Travis

You do that very well.

Ed

My mother was Episcopalian.

Ok, litmus test: "helmet" or "anteater"....

Because the air is free!!

Come here and I'll show ya' birthday boy.



Travis

BA-DA-BUM!





Travis

You ain't full Jew, just Jew'ish.

http://heavy.com/news/2014/09/eric-matthew-frein-pennsylvania-state-police-shooting-survivalist/

Get Jack Reacher.

Eric Frein: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know:

2)He�s a �Survivalist� Who Lived With His Parents

lol

Maybe that means there is a XBOX game named Survivalist that he was very good at.

I suspect there a lot of like minded folks here, in fact, that equate living with their parents as being a survivalist.

Guess it depends on the parents.

Maybe a few of them will chime in.

How much are you willing to bet he didn't have a girlfriend?

So he belongs to a "Warsaw pact" reenactment group, is anti gov't and his hatred of cops date back to 2006. They now believe he has shaved his head into a Mohawk. Possibly spotted today near Wallenpaupak


Apparently, the 308 was stolen from his dad

Link

Are you mentally ill? Nothing the Nazi's did in WW2 was good! I bet they would have rounded up everyone in the area and shot them.

Herd the SERT team had a bead on him a 80 yards and didn't smoke him because they couldn't positively ID him on Saturday.They have him boxed in a relatively small area, a several 100 square yard area. My trooper buddy thought it would be over today but haven't heard any thing as of 8 pm. Hopefully this will be over soon.

Always nice to have a handle on the "Herd"

...glad they've got im' boxed in.

For those of us not up to speed on latest lingo, what's a "SERT" team ?

GTC

Swat.

Special emergency response team is the term they use now. Special weapons and tactics must not be politically correct anymore.

Is there a crazy possibility that he ain't in the area at all? How can you have someone pinned down in a several hundred yard area for 14 days and not find him?

Episcopalians are just Catholics who are going to hell.

you just can't flush him out like a whitetail deer. That would be the quickest way to get some one else shot.

Set the woods on fire, flush him and shoot him on the run,,,

Same/same. I coukd give you a list of acronyms, that all boil down to what's commonly known as swat

Hell our county task force is technically known as SIS- Special Investigative Service

Our dept has a CIRT Critical Incident Response Team

That's what I asked, why not do a controlled burn in that area. It's good for the habitat.

Set the woods on fire and some friggin lawyer would be along shortly with a double handful of lawsuit paperwork on behalf of the poor victim/dangerous felon.

I've got something like this in mind.... All works out for the best at about the 15 second mark.