I saw a video of a ghetto mother whoopin' her teen age son with a belt. Hailed as a stern mother, that's all good, right? No, it's not. To me dad should be whoopin' him.


My parents came out of the mountains around Grundy Virginia in the mid 50's. My sister was born in Virginia in 1955 just before they moved. My older brother in 1957, me in 1959 and my younger brother in 1961. My parents essentially stayed in that Appalachian mindset as much as the could their entire life. They associated with Appalachian people mostly, others more distantly.

From birth until 9-10 years old us boys belonged to mom, nurturing and discipline, dad only whooped us occasionally. At 9-10 we became dad's. Big program change, the nurturing part was over for the most part and dad owned your azz. Discipline was hard, being with dad was like walking on egg shells. He didn't use a belt or paddle, he had a 5 foot hickory switch that he peeled, fire hardened and rubbed down with linseed oil. That thing would raise welts through your clothes and on bare skin could make you bleed a bit. Dad used to say, " This house is mine, that dog is mine and you are mine."

We started working with him at 9 years old. Every summer, after school sometimes, and every Saturday. He was a residential building contractor. On the job discipline was with a 4-5 foot 2x4. By the time I was 13 I was expected to know the tasks I was given and to do a man's days labor. The good side of that is when I was 16 I went to another contractor and made $7 and hour. $7 and hour for a 16 year old in 1976 was damn good money.

At 16 one evening at dinner I told my dad, " Monday I'm starting with Bob Masley" . I had expected to take a bit of a whoopin', didn't happen, but I was determined I would go no matter what. My dad said, " Did I say you could get another job?" I said "Nope" looking right at him. He just said, " You better work good for Bob." You see, in our family a son could tarnish the fathers name and his reputation.

So how does that stack up against how you other Appalachian guys were raised.

I'm not Appalachian, but it sounds like your Dad did a good job. I agree with him about sons reflecting on their fathers.

Sounds fun.

My dad was a drunk, a gambler and a womanizer. I worshiped him.

My Dad Was a Hands off kind of Guy....He was just the man that showed up after 5 and switched the TV Channels no matter what you were watching............

That actually doesn't sound too far off of the way the ancient Spartans raised their sons.

In different words, your Dad was telling you, "Come back with your shield, or on it."

You got some Saturday Night Fever going on there?

Sounds alot like my Dad! but he was off a Farm in Tenn. we worked alot, but didnt get hit unless we did something wrong!

the appalachian country is where i grew up, down on dusty red dirt road.

worked a lot of minimum wage jobs paying high school costs, and through college.

usually had two jobs when in college, one during the week and the other on weekends.

and the summers were all work, all of the time that one could. plenty of folks still like that.

I respected my dad so much that he didn't have to whip me. All he had to do is look at me with disgust and I was shamed and sorry. He did spank me a couple of times when I was young, but it didn't do much. They knew things I considered punishment, such as staying inside instead of playing with my buddies, and that was worse than whipping to me. Oh yeah....we are from a long line of mountain folks. I spent my life trying to be like Dad, and raise my kids the same way he did. It has worked so far!

I worked too from a young age, a big right fist from a former marine drill Sargent hurts. I learned to do exactly what he said, when he said to do it.

Sounds a lot like my Dad, you have my condolences.

Except for the part where the Spartans handed their boys of to pederasts for military training.

Dad was pretty strict and handy with a belt. I started driving tractor two four hour shifts six days a week at five. Dad bucked hay bales for all the neighboring farms. Me on the tractor and him loading the trailer and stacking by his self.

By 12 I was irrigating, feeding, and milking cows. Milking was a two hour job before school every day. Feeding and milking in the evening was from the time we stepped off the school bus to about 9:00 PM.

When I went to work forty hour weeks, it was like vacation.

Reiver, My Dad was the same way with me, my brothers, and sisters... All he had to do was change the tone in his voice and you knew it was time to listen. I remember being spanked once at about age 6 and deserved it.

I loved being around my Dad and there was always lots of work to do when I was growing up, but, on the same token he knew how to have fun with his kids when the time came.

Like you reiver, I've tried to do the same type of parenting and I'd say it worked pretty well for my wife and I with our kids.

so was my DAD. but he was also a moonshiner.

I can't say I grew up in Applachia, but we had similar experiences and expectations. I wish I had a nickle for every time my dad told me to give a good day's work to get a good day's pay. I started working at about 8 years old. I used to rake leaves for the divorced lady up the street. Other odd jobs too. I started trapping when I was 10. My older brother would wire the jaws open on the traps for me until I was strong enough to set them for my self. I'd lay out the set then cut the wire. 'Rats and coon mostly-a mink once in a while, and beaver when I got older. Money was always tight around the house, and my brother and I chipped in as best we could. I used to pick worms, and seine minnows in the summer to sell to the fishermen going to a lake near us. I also swam the ponds on a nearby golf course and picked up the golf balls, cleaned them up and sold them back to the golfers. I got .35 ea, or 3 for $1.00. The shags we sold to a driving range for .07 a piece. In the fall, we hunted squirrel and rabbit when we weren't running traps. We'd sell squirrel tails to Mepps when we had enough to make it worthwhile. We ate a lot of small game, as we'd be out of venison by fall, and we needed meat on the table.

I'd like to think Dad's proud of the work ethic I've had over the years. I owe it to him. I'm proud to say I've never collected one cent of unemployment benefits, and this while growing up in the northeast Ohio Rust Belt economy. I can't say I'm a real hillbilly, but I sure respect their ability to keep roofs over their heads and food on the table no matter what.

Discipline or child abuse? If someone struck my child w/ a closed fist or a 2x4 I would kill them. Were I to do the same thing to my kids I would deserve the same treatment. Children that are abused frequently visit the same treatment on their children.

Kids deserve the opportunity to learn to excel, that is best taught in the home by example. To equate brutality w/ discipline is ignorance.


mike r

+1

We are the same age. At 17 I made $2.15 an hour.

You and yours did good.

Nothing like some good old fashioned kid beatin' to pass the time, and instill the qualities that make a good man......

Yeah, I grew up that way. This is much the reason I have spent the last several years putting folks who treat their kids like that in jail.

No he wasn’t an [bleep]. Never the less we knew never to cross a line or dooms days would be upon us. Never did receive physical punishment from Dad, Mom whooped my butt a few times as a kid, slapped my mouth once or twice as an insolent teen.

Wow, I'd not want to be raised like that. I got my hide tanned more than a few times, but it was only for really stupid stuff. If I did what I was told and at least gave it a good go, I had nothing to fear. More often, it was "Way to go sport, how are you going to fix it?"
Eggshells? Nah.

I was raised much the same way.

Family has been up in the SW Virginia mountains and hollers since the mid 1700’s. We were raised strict.

From WV, I got whoopings from lots of people... didn’t help my case when I laughed at ‘em either...

I'm not from Appalachia but I was raised much the same way. In place of the switch Pop had a belt or razor strap. I was much easier on my Boys and they turned out ok.

I was raised up in the Appalachian Mountains in the 60's in a rough as heLL place and still live here, dam proud of it too. Mom wore my legs out many times with some of the knottiest limbs there was, when I misbehaved. Dad was a school principal, he knew how to bust some a$$ for sure, but he never ever whipped me at home or in school. Mom always threatened me, saying that he was going to lay the black belt to my hide, but it never happened. As a child I was raised up pretty strict and I respected my Elders.


I think where society has got off track when they took the punishment out of schools and they started calling switching's, child abuse. A lot of kids these days just need a good a$$ whipping with a Hickory Switch.

I grew up on a dairy farm in SW Virginia in the 50s and 60s. Didn't have to start working until I was big enough to carry a bucket. Gather eggs, slop hogs, feed baby calves, put up hay for us and helped others for 25 cents an hour. Mom and Dad were both firm and we knew not to cross them. Life was good, always had food on the table and a warm and dry place to sleep.

That was the good ole days for sure, a lot of these kids these days don't even know how to grow a garden.

I spent the summer of 1956 as a 5 year old on my grandparent's 40 acre farm in Bristol VA.
They had two plow horses, 7 cows, an outhouse, a well house, 3 barns, a chicken coop, a pig pen, and tobacco patch for money.
They cooked on a wood stove and had kerosene lamps for light. Compared to Seattle, I had gone back 50 years in time.
At age 5 they put me to work hoeing the tobacco patch.
I loved it.

Yelp Bristol, TN. / Bristol, VA. I am not far from there, my friend.


You ever heard of Bloody Madison?

Well all that is where my family roots are... even tho my dad was military...

kinda grew up in a combination of old Scottish Mountain Discipline and Marine Corps basic training...

the liberals kinda made all of that to be politically incorrect and like anything else they have touched
look how the outcome has served America....

I haven't had to physically discipline my children growing up... I wanted them to have a different life
than I had on the home front.... when they did something wrong, we sat down and talked about making
choices, right and wrong... they always seemed to respond to it...

I know in Scouting, I've had to sit down with kids and talk about them losing any discipline...
At first they would give me, this 'you aren't my dad' routine..

to which my usual response was.. You and I can have this conversation, or ME YOU and YOUR DAD can
have this conversation, which one would you like to do? They usually wanted their dad left out of it, and
all of sudden gave me all the attention I needed to get the point across...


I learned as a kid, smart ones, learn to act a certain way and avoid having to be physically disciplined...
the ones who always got physically abused to be straightened out.. I looked at as Slow Learners...

I was raised the same way. My dad was from the Ozarks. He only whipped me 4 times but I remember every one and what it was for. I never let him catch me doing any of those things twice. They were bad beatings and it wouldn't be tolerated today. It wasn't right and I didn't handle my kids that way.

My Dad was a cool fair disciplinarian. Usually. That only changed if you really crossed a line, or scared him. (Another story, coulda been killed)
He put the belt to you when you had it coming, but reasonably.


Mother? She has a bad temper. I had many bare assed switchings. Blood has been shed.
She almost KO'd me once with a heavy bowl, my knees buckled and I staggered around a bit.

Harsh? Yep.

Glad for it. I am headstrong and seriously resent any authority.
They kept me scared until I developed a sense of right and wrong that has kept me out of trouble.

To this day I look for ways to get away with a lot of things that would be quite bad.
My raising, and conscience keep me straight.

Raised in Colorado not Appalachia but we were raised with expectations too.

Something that's sorely lacking these days where kids expect to be millionaires but don't have the discipline to show up on time and work hard....

Discipline was "severe" when I was growing up - and it didn't help that I was (in my late mother's words) "the worlds best bad example"
My kids were raised on the premise that God put padding on a child's backside for a reason. Barehanded smacks as attention getters were all we ever needed.
Kids came out just fine.

No.
My relatives had the Ratliff Candy Company, that is still run by them.
My grandparents farm was on Reedy Creek Road near the Malone cemetery.