Will you adopt me? I'm a 48-year old male white, straight, with my my own gun collection. I drink single-malt scotch and smoke good cigars, which I'm always willing to share. I'll come with a great retirement plan in 2-years. I can pick up after mysself and I'm handy in the kitchen. I'm not afraid of hard work and only reqire a small place for all my habits, collections and a place to lay my head. I'll even sleep in the shed, "Dad". What do you think?