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Posted By: E4E Tex+Go Kart=Carnage!!!!!!!!!!!! - 08/31/01
Guy's!!!!!!!!!<BR>Hey!!!!!!<BR>I just got this thing back from Tex,and call him to say it made it here...Robin answered the phone cuz our favorite Red floppy rocky booted clown with a ponytail was laid up in the Hospital with some complications involving the laws of physics,a Go Kart,and the departure angle of a Chevy 1/2 ton pickup truck.....<BR>The loon shattered his leg,and is now some sort of redkneck cyborg with angle iron,nails and screws bolted to his leg,and driving poor Robin insane.<BR>His net access is on the fritz,so drop him a line at (469)426-0833,and bust his chops about his driving,and try not to laugh too hard.The Nurses actually kicked him out of the Hospital after withholding the morphine for some reason....go figure!!!!!!<BR>I'll get back in a bit to say a proper hello after being off for the last several months,but I gotta get some sleep.<BR>I hope all are well,and yes,I have a gazillion E-mails to catch up on,and I'll get on that soon as well.<BR>Newguy123....scopes on,will shoot when the monsoons break in the daylight.<BR>Badger....guess what I'm drinking [img]images/icons/laugh.gif" border="0[/img]<BR>JJ....mind the Bears!<BR>Blaine.....How's it shooting?<BR>Boggy...I missed your mirth!!!<BR>All the rest....just gimme some time....I missed you guy's.<BR>OH!!!!!!<BR>Hey! I'm heading back to Africa come spring,and have room for 2 more in the party.<BR>Nyala,Kudu,Warthog,Blue Wildebeest,and more of those viscous Meerkats!!<BR>Hippo wine for all if ya can swing by!!!!<BR>Cheers all!!!!!<BR>E4E<BR>P.S.<BR>I'm serious about Tex,the guy is messed up BAD!!! Give him a call and bust his chops,he needs it! [img]images/icons/laugh.gif" border="0[/img]
Well, well, look who finally found his way home! Welcome back Pat!<P>As for our friend, Tex, I don't know what to say. It seems to fit right in with the misadventures that take place on this board. I sure hope his drumstick heals up! Poor fella!
Pat<P>Welcome back!!! Everyone around here sure missed ya. I talked to tex on the phone several days ago and he told me about getting his kid a go-kart but I didn't figure he would be the one running into a pick-up (or did I? [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] ). Now I am certain to call and give him hell.
Musta got his pills out of sequence again.....that sucks!<P>Mike
Uhhhh...for the record,if anyone calls him...<BR>it would seem the same Nurse Ratchett wannabe's that denied him pain pills,seemed to placate the suffering clown by giving him stool softeners instead of the Vicodin,so be sure to ask him if he's regular [img]images/icons/laugh.gif" border="0[/img]...<BR>as full of $hit as Tex is,he will be on the pooper for days on end!!!!!<BR>Give him a holler if'n ya think of it.<BR>Cheers!E4E
Tex,<BR>Put the keys down and slowly back away from the go cart! [img]images/icons/laugh.gif" border="0[/img] I've always heard that Jack Daniels and Go Carts don't mix and now we have proof. Get well soon Tex,I'll give you a holler this afternoon...Littlebit
What a F*&@%&^%@#&#%^%#*&%(king dumb^*%^&%&*ass.<P>I kept thinkibng I wouldn't get old if I didn't grow up........<P>Ok I'm old.......<P>I "crushed" my right lower leg durring <BR>gokart testing. Hurts like a mother....<P>No cast. They have nails and screws on the inside and like 4 inch long "pins", I call them "screws" coming out of my leg about two inchs in a line fron right below my knee thru the top of my foot, held together with a aluminum slingshot looking deal.<P>I am dieing. Hurts constantly. I have to wear this cy-borg looking contraption for at least 90 days. No pressure on the foot at all for 90 days. They say it will explode again. I have had two operations and best case is two more, probably 4 or more.<P>Great. Fricking great. <P>Ever tried to hop around all day. Wipe your bo-honky on one leg, knowing if you screw up your foot will "explode"?<P>BUT !!!! Anything to escape those "night" nurses??? Are they all named "Satan" or what?? Days were all right but every night was like "hell" night again?? I didn't know there were that many dominatrix practicing in Texas for Pete's sake. Where do they find these night nurses? Suspended prison guards?? <P>I saw 666's on every fricking one of them!!!<P>Send Pills!!!<P>Tex<P>They said I would be in 14 days and they let me out after 3 ???? You reckon finding out I had no insurance swayed these rascals?<P>At least I had the best surgeons. I was at the best Trauma center in the state they say and, and they were having a Orthopedic conferance. My x-rays wer presented at the conferance and 100 people watched each surgery? <P>F*ck the pain pills I'm going for screwdriver!! Sh*t !! $@%^$%@*&^@&*(^()*&@<P>Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Posted By: BW Re: Tex+Go Kart=Carnage!!!!!!!!!!!! - 09/02/01
<I>Notes for next Spring Black Bear hunt...<P>Call charter company, cancel Texas's stateroom (with wetbar) aboard the 75ft yacht I was planning on paying for...<P>Inform Swedish Bikini team that one member of hunt won't be going along, send fewer bikini's...<P>Cancel the kegs, reduce Absolute delivery to just 10 cases...<P>Let Hugh (Hefner) know that we won't be needing his private jet (with wetbar) to detour through Dallas next April...<P>Must be more, but I can't remember right now...</I>
BW: I can relate. Don't worry. It's the drugs...<P>(grin)<P>Tex
Tex, sorry to hear about your mishap, even though it did sound funny the way E4E stated it. I can imagine your pain, I went through it with my back surgery, but I didn't allow any pins and rods. Went strictly with fusion. And I think I have about 5 years supply of those pills put away, just incase I might need them again.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><HR>At least I had the best surgeons. I was at the best Trauma center in the state they say and, and they were having a Orthopedic conferance. My x-rays wer presented at the conferance and 100 people watched each surgery? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Tex, (grin) that "Orthopedic Conferance" is called a classroom. Those "X-Rays" are called "Instructional Videos", and those "100 People" are called "Students" You didn't let them put you under when they operated on you, did you? [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <P>Phil
Hang in there, Tex. This, too, shall pass. E
Gees Tex, I don't know what to say. A go-cart? 90 days? No insurance? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!<P>At least you are able to sneak out to the nurse&#8217;s station and hijack their computer while they are torturing others. For God sake don&#8217;t let them catch you at it. <P>Also, keep a lid on your keen wit while in their presence. You have obviously observed first hand their inability to cope with humor. This is very common throughout the health care industry. <P>Good luck Tex. Hope you are feeling better soon.
OK OK, blame it on the big red floppy boots, couldn't control the damn thing, hit both pedals at once. Tex, what the hell were you thinking?? [img]images/icons/crazy.gif" border="0[/img] Dontcha know that go-karts are for young fools? They're not for boring old farts with no reflexes..... I'll call ya, bud. badger.
TH, there, there, my man keep a stiff upper lip...because if you don't, remember that a stiff lower lip looks really stupid [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Seriously though that's a real bummer. Hey if you get desperate I know an outfitter or two in Canada that can set you up for a very relaxed bear hunt over bait.
Good Lord! To think I let you push a wheel barrow when you were here. The unknown potential for disaster staggers the imagination. Hang in there it has got to get better.<BR>BCR
Tex, I'd say your timing couldn't be much worse-right before hunting season! Good luck on the rest of this deal.
Damn, Tex; Sorry to hear about your dilemma. My wife tells me that guys my age need to knock off the kid stuff or we'll get hurt; getting older or some BS.... Go kart, hmmm... maybe there's something to what she says.... Now about the exploding foot; If you think this could happen, have you considered wearing a digital "kneecam" in order to post footage for the benefit of the rest of us? You know that we are with you in this, even if only in the position of appreciative observers. BTW, are daily prostate checks really part of being hospitalized, or is my wife trying to scare me out of inflicting major injuries to myself???
8ball: Why do the night nurses all use rectal thermometers? Even oraly?? Too fricking weird dude.<P>Tex<P>PS I'll work on the knee cam idea.
[img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <P>Hey guys, I spoke with the cyborg, (er - Tex) this evening. It really is worth calling him, even just for the answering machine message (meow). He says he's gonna be fine as long as they don't run out of orange juice, and he's pretty sure that he can get to the bathroom one foot, at least until after the meds take effect....But hey they make those doggy pooper scoopers right?<P>Anyway - Give him a shout, he's going buggy and ready to start walking just to get to that nitro cooled computer (can you say mad scientist) or at least to a set up reloading bench. So we need to take relays at keeping his wandering mind focused on keeping off that foot!
Yo, Tex; do the nurses use them on you too? Do they all have bad breath? What the hell was that place, a hospital, or an HMO trial lab??? [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] Hope you're up and able to retaliate soon.
I will continue to pray for you, texas_hunter. Best of luck.
Tex, Pat told me about your "adventure" and I figured I'd rejoin the living long enought to post my condolences. Hospitals SUCK, man. I know. But nurses come in all flavors so don't consider them ALL to be Satan. The ones that are, however, probably work for my ex. [img]images/icons/blush.gif" border="0[/img]<BR>Best of luck to ya' and I'll try to keep Pat out of trouble. <BR>But with your example to follow, I think I'll have to take that Eye-talian 'cycle away from him to keep him out of trouble. Don't worry, I'll take good care of it. [img]images/icons/laugh.gif" border="0[/img]<BR>Talker
Tex, are you still going to try and show up at Tom's Slam? We'd keep you off that foot, even if we'd have to hobble you, and tie you to a chair! Heck, with the high elevation, and those pain pills, you'd feel no pain. If driving is a problem, I know one of us poor soles would be more than willing to pick you up. You,(grin) could ride the ATV around camp, from tent to tent, and to the latrine. I've finished my miniature block & tackle, we could easily lift you on, and off. If you promise not to do it again!<BR>Friendship, good food, and a riffle would take your mind off that hurt. Heck, how offten would you get a chance to hunt from the prone position, at the edge of camp, laying in a chase lounge, beer in hand. Just give us the correct password, to get back in ourselves. [img]images/icons/laugh.gif" border="0[/img] <P>In all seriousness, take care of that leg, and get well soon.<P>Phil
Grey: Sorry dude but I am out of action for a long time it looks like. There is no cast. I can't have the foot touch the ground at all. Pins/screws holding it in a external frame.<P>It's very difficult moving around the house in a wheelchair, using the bathroom etc.. Lots of pain still right now, although they say it will get better in the next few weeks. <P>Basicaly my legs F*cked. I have a tough next year with rehab and more operations to MAYBE be ready for next year. No one is promising me next year will be OK. No one knows. I am determined to follow Doc's orders and kick ass to get back to where I was three weeks agon in the next year.<P>30 seconds of stupidity and a year of pain to pay me back. I can't believe I have done this. I have never been hurt and I'm 45. Played all sports. Never grew up, and only had a chipped toothe until now.<P>A very sobbering wake up call I would say. Does seem like my punishment was extreme for the crime (grin) but then again it could of been much uglier then this. Believe it or not I was lucky to of just crushed my leg out of this deal. Does not seem to have nerve damage etc.. but remeber it's not not a break either. I crushed my lower leg and there are a bunch of pieces still "floating" around at this point. Thats why I know I have one maybe two more surgeries in the next 4 months or so. <P>Cross your fingers and say a prayer for next year for me dude. I will be cranked up big time for next year. If I work hard and don't do anything stupid, (and the Slam this year would rank as very stupid) then I reckon next year is a reasonable goal!<P>You guys Rock On at the Slam this year and give Old Tex a toast after you get the first Elk OK?<P>Cheers<P>Tex
Tex, man I didn't realize you were that bad off. I appoligize if I offended. I know what you mean about the 30 seconds to disaster. But hey, anybody that say's s--t doesn't happen is a fool. After 4 years in the Army, 97 Airborne jumps, driving off a 100' cliff and never touching the side then landing on the roof upside down(this when I was 24), and over 20 years of moving heavy machinery. In 1994 I sliped, and fell on a railroad jack, having to have back surgery. Never seriously injured before that. And just about two weeks ago, while remoting the crane, while doing K-Rail. I swung the boom of the crane around right into a 12,000 volt power line. Just bumped it, got lucky, didn't knock it down, and nobody got hurt. But hey, s--t doe's happen. Unless you just stop doing everything, and stay home watching TV for the rest of your life, you just got to put up with it. It's part of life! Don't blame your self, and just keep having fun, it's worth it.<P>You'll have all my prayors, and hope you make that fast recovery.<P>Phil
my theory has always been,that there is MUCH more that can go wrong,than can go right. <P>It is a wonder,that anybody(that does anything),lives to see their 21st B-Day. I'm still scratching my head,on how I made it. <P>Keep your outlook bright and do as the Doctor asks. Just remember,it could of always been worse..........
Grey: I was not the least offended?? I didn't take it that way and know you would not of said it in any derogatory fashion. Your a good man Grey.<P>Attitude wise I guess I am yo-yoing right now. Good somedays and depressed as hell others. I still jerk awake at night seeing the last 4 seconds before impact. Just replaying it over and over. The leg looks so bad with the pins coming out right now I can't even look at it yet. I could look or clean it out etc if it was someone ELSES leg but it is rather disturbing to look down at the pins/screws just coming out of my leg.. Very cyborg looking. I almost puke seeing it in my leg.<P>Bored to tears. Just counting another day flushed right now. Can stay upright maybe an hour a day total right now.<P>If you guys get bored CALL ME, cause this is the sh*ts dude. <P>Send books. Or broken computers?? I'll fix or build computers for nothing just to have something to do......<P>So if I cut up too much on the board here in the next few months remember that I am fricking going nuts. (like tahts a stretch of the old imagination huh?) LooneyTunes crazy. Certified by seceral independent laboratories. <P>And I probably just needed to "release" a little. And you guys get the brunt of it. I mean I can't take it out on Robin? She's taken care of me, that sweetheart of a gal I've got. You guys on the otherhand can't even hit me or nuthin ..... (grin)<P>Tex<P>P.S. Sticks and Stones may break my bones but Whips and Chains excite me????
Tex,<P>A buddy of mine had a great BRAINSTORM and ended up shooting himself in the foot. He had run chainsaws for his entire life and needed surgery,to correct problems in both hands. Figuring it made the most sense,to get ALL over at once,he opted to have both hands done at the same time(see where this is going?!?).<P>Wellll,like most theories,that SOUNDED great. But he soon sees the error of his ways,as he was bandaged to the elbows on both sides and remained unable to wipe his own hiney,for the LONGEST while. He too had a great Wife and she pulled him through and took care of the hiney(THAT Gentlemen,is LOVE!). He still laughs about his brainstorm(as time does heal all wounds).<P>Life is full of ups and downs,sometimes self-inflicted,other times just poor luck. Attitude is everything,but sometimes that is difficult to remember. I've worked with many guys,who suffer permanent disabilities. The type of stuff that NEVER gets better. You may be down,but you are not out. <P>Think how fortunate you are,to have Robin. Things aren't always as bad as they seem. This will pass and will someday make a grand story,for your Grandkids. Did you specify grease fittings,in your knee? I know I sure could use some.<P>I'll get off of here and call your lame ass(grin) and hook you up with some reading material......
I just yacked at the lad. He's intently watching the Cowboys play and sounded pretty good to me,given his tough luck.<P>You boys ought to give him a ring,I believe it means a lot...........
Tex, very sorry to hear about your mishap. Hang in there, buddy. A friend of mine did the same thing to his left arm at work a few years ago. I know it looks (and hurts) like he**, but hang in there, it gets better. I'll be keeping you in prayer.<BR>7mm
Tex,<P>I forgot to ask in my first post: What exactly happened? Are we talking a design defect here (manufacturer liability) or negligence of another motorist? I mean, obviously this thing can't be your fault because then we don't have anyone to pin (sorry about the pun) it on. Your pain and suffering is going to be worth a fortune once we identify and stick it to the schmuck that did this to you! Ladies and gentlemen, I submit to you that the defendant must take responsibility for his/her/its actions! My client, poor Mr. Tex simply desires justice. Today that justice will come at a price; a price that will be decided by YOU, a jury of his peers!<P>Oh it'll be great! I'll wear my power suit (black with pinstripes) and my blood red tie. Does Robin look good in black? She's female so we already know that she can cry at the drop of a hat. Keep a daily journal of all your pain and inconveniences. ALL of them. Follow your doctor's orders to the letter. Juries generally expect the victim to make every effort to get better, but will reward you handsomely when you don't.<P> [img]images/icons/laugh.gif" border="0[/img] Sorry, I couldn't help myself. But...I would like to hear the whole story! And yes, I have added you to my list of people that I pray for. Call me with any specific requests (360) 736-1301. You have time, read your Bible and tell me what you think.<P>You're the man!<P>Wade
Waders: Appreciate the thoughts. If I pray for better pain pills does it still count?<P>This would be a chance for you to really shine at your craft! I would have to sue myself for gross stupidity, above and beyond the call of duty. You can play both the prosecuting attorney and the defense attorney? A unique chance to showcase your talents???<P>Cheers<P>Tex
Hmmm, if you have homeowner's you might be able to sue your insurance company to cover your bills. After all it was the dumbazz homeowner's fault. <P>Hope you are feeling better as soon as possible. <P>BTW, why don't you get that go cart fixed and you can wheel around in it? Just have to change the peddle arrangement a bit and make sure that Robin has your life insurance paid up. LOL
Tex, was wondering where you had been, terribly sorry to hear about your mishap. Did you happen to say just before "hey ya'll watch this" [img]images/icons/laugh.gif" border="0[/img] ?? biff
Hey Tex... I can appreciate what Waders is trying to do, but c'mon... if this went to trial, it could involve a jury of your peers... Man alive, WE ARE YOUR PEERS! Are you really willing to risk that? Even as good as Wade is, this level of character reference could get you sued by the go kart! Hope the new color of pills helps the pain. Man, I cringe every time I think about you. ( I cringe when I think about your leg too! [img]images/icons/laugh.gif" border="0[/img] ) Keep your chin up Dude, you've got a lot of people praying for you and hoping for a pronto recovery.
Biff: last words were along the lines of "oh Sh*t !!!" I'm sure.<P>8ball: truly a sobering thought to realize you guys ARE a real jury of my pears? Wait a dad gum minute here! I think I'll put this beer back in the Fridge till it gets closer to noon OK? (grin).<P>Waders could play a schitzo lawyer, leading a double life, which would allow him to be both prosecutor and defense judge!! You guys could all be the jury. YEAH THATS THE TICKET YEAH!!! Tex sues himself. Of course I will take the classic "temporary insanity" defense. (grin) Thats one not like its a stretch for me to convince YOU GUYS right? Unless they fight me on the "temporary" part?<P>Can you guys tell I'm like really bored today?<P>Remember send pills, broken computers to work on, or your favorite book. I need something to do guys. I'm going nuts.<P>I set the cat on fire yesterday. Fire CAN be your friend! (BOSEG)<P>HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP<P>T-Rex Ugh... I mean "tex"
Tex-<P>Just off the phone with my wife and we have decided to send you a little care package. Please post or email me your mailing address. Wade@CentraliaLaw.com <P>What kind of books do you read?<BR>Do you build laptops?<BR>What kind of movies do you like?<BR>Do you do crosswords? search-a-word? jigsaw puzzles?<BR>Do you like brain-teasers? (I'll get you one that's on your level. i.e. What is the next number in this series: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, ___?)<BR>Do you/Can you play computer games?<P><BR>Give me your answers and other suggestions before 5pm Pacific Time today. <P>Later,<P>Wade
Waders: Your the man dude ! (grin)<P>Mark Withers<BR>1113 Garden Isle<BR>Irving TX 75060<P>Answers to your questions <P>Books... I was looking for anything outdoors kinda just cus I'm stuck inside... Robin is a voracious reader of mysteries. Grisham etc.. Our home library is better stocked then the local public library?<P>puters: I can FIX a laptop but not build one from scratch. But anybody wanting to build or upgrade a computer.... This is a great oppurtunity to have it custom built to your specs for nothing. Just pay for parts. The price of motherboards, cpu's and memory has NEVER been lower. Will also just fix your screwed up PC. They usually don't need parts. Just scratching and reloading Windows. PAy shipping and it's done ! (grin)<P>Pamela Lee is my favorite actress..... (grin) Just kidding. Any movies are cool. Bonus if its something my daughter can watch for family time.<P>Not much on jigsaw puzzles etc.. Or computer games. When I can set up longer at the puter I will start working again and building a website etc... Just no money right now for new parts or anything to jack with the puters in the Lab at he house. In fact I can't get the wheelchair into the lab by myself.... So we will end up with 4 computers in the den before long..... Robin just loves it when I spread my crap out everywhere? (grin)<P>Biggest problem is it will be a couple weeks before I can spend much time sitting up without the leg aching yet.... MSSGN sent me some books. I started reading a paperback Capstick book called Death in the Tall Grass or something?? Like his style of writing. <P>Big Stick sent a home movie out yesterday with a book on bear guides in Alaska. Should be cool. I love fly fishing. When I can sit up longer I will make toons hubby come up from Houston and build me a reloading bench. I have all the crap and this would be a great time to learn how..<P>You guys are great. It's just nice knowing you guys are here to yak it when I get up and hurt or get discouraged.<P>I, I, I, I love you man.<P>Tex
Posted By: BW Re: Tex+Go Kart=Carnage!!!!!!!!!!!! - 09/10/01
Tex,<P>Dude, your killin' me! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]<P>Are you sure ya want Toons-Hubby building your reloading bench? Those engineer types go <B>way</B> overboard sometimes! Might started drilling down to your foundation just to get a good steady footing! The good news with Toons-Hubby is, that if the saw breaks, he can snap those 4x4's off by hand! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]<P>Ain't the backdeck to the lake wheelchair accesible? Seems like a good time to go fishing to me.<P>If your reading Capstick, then it's game over. JJHack need only watch for your deposit check around next April. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]<P>By the way, your signature line, about heading to the mountains <I>"as fast as I can"</I>, might need some editing! [img]images/icons/laugh.gif" border="0[/img]<P>Have you read Gen. Boddingtons "Safari Rifles"? I got it in softcover and you can <B>borrow</B> it.<P>Say hi to Robin and the daughter, from all us here.
BW: ANYTHING on guns/rifles will be read, fondled lightly and returned in good condition. Promise. (grin) Heck lets make it a "Cub Scout Promise" !!!<P>Tex<P>Note: I was kicked out of the cub scouts at age 8 for eating Brownies....... Remember Brownies??? They had never had someone so young swim the lake at night to get to the little girls camp ????
Tex, what kind of computer parts do you want to fool with. I just rented a storage garage to get some of my old stock out of the office. All new, but pretty outdated, motherboards, AMD K6-2 500 processors, cases, speakers, memory, and the likes, thank there's even a couple of new Epson 440 printers in there. Also have Window's 98, Window's NT-4, and Office 98 Business Edition. I've got some Windows 98, and Windows 2000 Professional Resource kits, if you would like to get into some serious tweaking. I've got a couple of computer drafting programs, with lots of books and manuals. That can really eat up some time trying to learn. If you have some interested kid who needs a computer, or. Just let me know what you need.<P>Phil<P>Send me, an E-mail with an address, or hell just a phone number, and I'll call.<P>[email protected]
A slight joke to cheer you up Tex. If anyone thinks this is to fowl mouthed for Tex's virgin ears, or improper. Just let me know and I'll delete it.<P>Phil<P>_________________________________________________________________________<P>Company Memo<P>As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of our younger people, who represent our future. Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, is deemed necessary, and will be placed into effect immediately.<P>This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company. SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management. This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination). Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.<P>If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump-sum Assistance Payment) unless he/she already has AIDS (Additional Income from Dependents or Spouse). As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.<P>Management wishes to assure the younger employee's who remain on board, that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our Special High Intensity Training (****) program. We take pride in the amount of **** our employees receive. We have given our employees more **** than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough **** on the job, see your immediate supervisor. Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the **** you can stand.<P>And, once again, thanks for all your years of service with us. And through our continued corroboration and high ended programs. We hope to share a great and prosperous future.<P>The Management,<P>_______________________________________________________________<P>E-mailed to me by my Brother-in-Law, while I slightly cleaned up, and edited for this site.<P>Phil [img]images/icons/laugh.gif" border="0[/img]
Grey I just meant I would fix or build computers for others while I was bored. This is what I do for a living when I work (grin) so I have a ton of software and stuff also. I can build anything with windows or unix, networking, intranets etc... But if someone was broke and needed a upgrade this is the best deal you will ever get. It's free. Just pay for parts and shipping depending on what you want.<P>I gotta go lay down again. Legs killing me tonight.<P>Tex
How's it going Tex? Email me when you get bored. Mike.
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