Well, I just got caught, quarantine in county, corvid test three day ahead.

I hate that test!!!!

What ?

The coloscopy, the perpetration, corvid test, quarentine in county for 6 days. I pick up the kit in the next county.

Get it done, Wabi.

The prep is the thing.

The prep isn't nearly as bad now as it used to be. You got to prep for the prep!

I found the last prep to be a lot easier than 10 years ago. Just get it done.

The worst part is the prep
Do it-- you do not want any surprises

This is my fourth one.

If I understand your cryptic first post, you have a colonoscopy scheduled, and as a result of the national nuttiness you have to self quarantine and be tested for the Commie Cold beforehand?

They should use more adjectives in the warning label like
Flaming Starfish Jet Spray Diarrhea

Yes Rock, it don't make a heap o sense

On my last test I asked if I could take communion, the lady said she'd never been asked that before.

Low on TP?

No point in moving off the toilet!

And!, there'll be none of this pictures, or it didn't happen.

I did bump the procedure off, Jake is going to on a short vacation .

I get one every 3-5 years, depending on what the doctor advises. Have had 2 pre-cancerous ones removed in the past, and there is a family history of colon cancer. I hate the prep, as there is nothing they've ever come up with that makes it easy. Good luck Richard.

Just a little remembrance. Laugh thru it.

Colonoscopy Journal:
I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!' I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water.. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon. The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet. After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough. At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house. When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere.

I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.

'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like. I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

me too , i go on liquid diet a few days before the prep.

I did the deed 10 years ago...wasn't that bad having liquid explosively leaving my anus....I guess.

I've had 4. They are getting better with the prep.

My 1st was a nightmare. They needed to get mine done by the end of a month for insurance purposes. If not I'd have had to pay a big deductible. They told me to be there at 7 AM and they would work me in on the last day of that month. They gave me something around 9 to relax me, didn't go back until almost noon. Whatever they gave me had worn off by then and I was fully awake during the procedure.

I didn't need to sleep it off and by the time I got done was starving. I got dressed and drove home stopping to eat on the way. The next two times I was out and not coherent for hours after. But they used Propofol the last time. You're out in seconds after getting the drug and fully awake and well rested when you come off just a few minutes after the procedure.

Your posting from the toilet........Ewwwwwww!

Do you know how tough it is to get a desktop in there?

I'm in a high risk group for butt cancer. I have one every year. The prep sucks. There MUST be a better way. Maybe swallow a pill, chase it with 1/2 gallon of water, roll aroud in the yard to mix it all up. Why wouldn't that work. Heck, I just as soon just not eat for 3-days.

I fondly remember my first one. My wife and I were discussing the timing of the “ procedure”.

My son (about 10 at the time) persisted In knowing what procedure.

I finally gave in and told him, “Bill, I’m going to have a complete stranger put a camera up my butt and have a look around”.

He laughed for 15 minutes; so there is that!

.............That was my experience as well a couple years ago versus the one before that. The colonoscopy seemed easier and there was none of that after pain. I was told they inflate your innards with something else now but I forgot what it was; ( Nitrogen maybe ?)

Might as well get an endoscopy also while you are prepped and in the room where they do both. That way you will be good for another 10 years.

Make sure they clean the scope first. 😁

I like that boy, LMAO!

Eggzackly right. The prep isn’t near as bad as before.....FIDO.

Forget it and Drive On

Wonder if they could use a bore scope?

So actually, I had a colonoscopy scheduled for last Wednesday. Had my Suprep Kit for about two weeks before. I too, have had several of these things, history of colon cancer in the family and all. So Tuesday afternoon, promptly at 4, I drink the "poop elixir" down, followed by two large, cold glasses of water. My gut feels like a football for a while, then the first rumbling. I think I may have "assended" to the throne about 4:30 or so, maybe a little later.

One time I know for certain: 4:42pm, because that's when the scheduling lady called me from the GIs office, and told me that the lab they contract with should have contacted me a week ago for a Covid 19 test, so now they are going to have to reschedule. I gave the phone to the wife, telling the lady to talk to her, as I was not fit to talk to her at the moment. As I was unencumbering myself, I heard her mention to the wife (in the next room, but on speaker) "please don't shoot the messenger, I've had to contact three days worth of patients to reschedule because of this lab" I heard that and blew the hell up (figuratively and literally). Did it occur to her to call the ones that would be starting their prep oh, like 45 minutes ago, maybe to call them FIRST?!?!
She was in tears on the phone with the wife, and I probably shouldn't have, but I yelled "go ahead and cry, I'm crying out my ass right now, thanks a bunch!"
I have an appointment with another GIs PA tomorrow for a consult.

Think....baby wipes 😮

We have 100,000 colon cancer deaths per year. There would be a lot more without colonoscopies.
We have 170,000 Covid-19 deaths this year. There would probably be the same number without school lock downs.

The perp they gave was not better, just cost more. It did really move things though. Preperation H, I, J, K helps. I had polyps so get to go back every 3 years.
The later asteroidectomy wasnt as bad as stated--it hurts like hell, but it is going to be over

Wyo. I like your prose. reminded me a bit of Pat McManus

Been there three times and I’m due for another in six months. Not fun but better than colon cancer.

I’m due also, can’t wait!!

I had my first a couple of years ago and actually felt great after the cleansing. My nurse struggled with getting the juice feed in me, the most painful thing during and after. In a blink of an eye I was awake, up and ready to go. They removed a few and wanted me back in five years.

I’m kinda fond of him too.

If you're on Medicare, and have a good supplement, they know how to game the system.

They must hurting after being shut down. Those doctors live higher on the hog the us peasants.

Local hospital doesn’t have a pathologist?
Or is it that specialized, I wonder.

My doc (my nephrologist) was concerned about the prep meds, maybe there is magnesium or what in there they didnt want me to have.



She told me I could do 1/2 gallon of my favorite gatorade flavor and 4 ounces of Miralax and get the same result.


I still took the magic jug from the butt doctor, after they reassured me that it wouldnt hurt anything.



Advice....if you have a septic tank, you may want to deposit all of your wipings into a small trash can with a liner. I know that sounds gross, but it may end up saving you tank a surge of cellulose.

And you’ve done 16 years of training for your job too!

Wabi,
I’ve had four . Dr. told me after the last one that I wouldn’t need another.....a good thing to hear. Probably because I’m so damn old.

This^^

I took it easy about 2 days before. Only ate one meal a day. Grill cheese sandwich, sipped sweet tea to sustain thyself. Coors light for dinner.

I recommend it.

I get mine tomorrow. My guy said to use 64 ounces of Gatorade and 8 ounce of Miralax. Way better than the stuff I had to drink 10 year ago.

I just had one two months ago. Years ago I had one, and the prep was to small 4oz bottles of grape/salt flavored liquid, not pleasant, but really no big deal. This time, had to pick up the big thirst buster gallon jug, mix lemon flavored packet with gallon of water. I never got the whole thing down, halfway thru, if I took another swig, I knew I was going to hurl....it's that bad. Evidently, half was enough, doc said I was clean and pink?
Like the other fellow mentioned, this is the 21st century, you'd think they would have a little pill you wash down with a glass of water and call it good?

Thirst buster, lol

My older Brother, 76, was diagnosed with colon cancer about a year and a half ago.
He had never had a colonoscopy.
He managed to survive but trust me, you don't want to go through what he did.
Get the test.

last colonoscopy they knocked me out so good that I didn't even remember the doctor coming in afterwards to discuss the results with me although the wife assured me that he did and had even left pictures for me.

I have had a couple colonoscopy procedures and in each test it was determined I was a perfect arsehole.

Good luck with it, I've never had a colonoscopy and not sure if I ever will. I'm not against getting cut on but can't see where I'd be interested in chemo or radiation treatments. The thought of someone probing around my butt gives me the red azz.

Refusing a colonoscopy is a sure sign of stubborness. The fact is you don't feel a thing because they put you out with some rather pleasant drugs and you wake up feeling like you got a good night's sleep- with a hooker probing your a$$hole... the procedure is pretty simple, the prep is actually much easier than everyone is making it seem . If they do catch colon cancer in time the survival rate these days is almost 100%... if they don't, it's a long, painful way to go and your loved ones have to endure it with you....

I'm due for my third one this year because they found some polyps last time and I'm now on the five year schedule thing.... no big thing and now that I'm on Medicare it's just about 100% taken care of....


Bob

It's really no big deal.I had my second one last month.The prep was even better than last time.The worse part of the whole deal was the needle in the arm.They put you out in about ten seconds,you wake up after they are done and you feel like nothing has ever happened.I think years ago things may have been done differently,but really,don't worry about it,it's nothing.

Use as colorless gatorblade as you can get.

Be hilarious if they found a Hot Wheels Pinto up in there.