My girlfriends son (who for all intents and purposes is my son I have raised him since he was two and is going on 14) dad just died. He was a junky and the biggest piece of garbage you can imagine. I have had the luck of never meeting the guy and for the most part neither has Colin with the exception of a time or two when he was five and that dad's only Interest was getting back together with my girlfriend. This scumbag got his daughter who was going for a nursing degree hooked on heroin and she overdosed and died. He then attempted to gain custody of her daughter to collect welfare on her to feed his habit. Finally the pos died and I plan on having a heart to heart talk with him about what he's feeling now. I never forced the issue but the only time I am referred to as dad is at school and doctors appointments

Give it time.

He’ll grow up fast in the next few years and begin to see you for what you are.

Discuss it with your wife and get her read on it.

Sounds like he and she both fell into a good thing with you.

To me, "Father" has always held the connotation of someone aloof and somewhat cold, whereas "Dad" denotes someone with whom a person has a warmer and closer relationship.

Be steady, be calm, continue being the best man you can be for him and your time together is an advantage for both of you. Don't try to press this - if he is a good kid he will figure it all out on the basis of what you do and are with him. Wishing you the best.

P.S. - never had a son - we have four daughters and they are beyond precious even now in their 50s. Three call me dad, but #2 has always called me Daddy. On a shelf above my reloading bench is a little framed piece of woven work she created when she was about 12, and gave it to me on a special day..
The script reads "Any man can be a father, but it takes a very special man to be a Daddy". I'll have it always.

Father is a biological term.

Dad is earned.



P

I had a stepdad who for all intents and purpose was my dad from about the age of 4 until his death when I was nearly 50. My blood father passed away due to cancer before I was 2.
Anyway I went nearly all that time referring to him as either Bob or in later years Pop! BUT, don’t ever believe we didn’t have a very deep and loving relationship. He was a hell of a good man and stepped up to raise me and my sisters and provided for us as best as he possibly could.
Don’t worry about the “Title” Just do what’s right and be a good dad and role model. The love and respect will be there.

I couldn’t answer that, only saw him a couple times.

Dad to me connotates a much deeper meaning than father.

Agreed.

It would hurt my feelings if my kids called me Father. I am their Daddy.

Neither, i believe geography and net worth are the reasons both are used.

I called my Dad pop more.

This is what my kids and 4 grand kids call me because of it.

I think you are doing good don't quit.

Mama and Daddy.

Never held a title I was more proud of.

Them that call their dad's by name I have never cottoned to. Never will.

It's an arm's length kinda relationship I don't understand.

I always call mine pop or dad. Sometimes, "the old man"
I have more respect for him than any other man I've ever met. I'm extremely fortunate to have the parents I have.

Wife's family is very arm's length type. Said her grandmother and mother never said "I love you" or ever hugged her. Snotty as hell. I quit going to her family functions for almost 10 years til I realized how much fun it could be to go along and make them uncomfortable as hell. [bleep] douchebags.

Well put. I’m a stepdad, got there when he was six. His biological father was pond scum, never met him, long gone when I showed up.

Growing up he always called me Michael like his mom did. I never questioned it one way or another. He did refer to me to his friends as “my dad”. He’s 35 now.

Six years ago when I rode my bicycle to NY State there was a group text going on following my progress he referred to me with the term “my father” which was surprising and heartwarming all at once.

The clincher tho came maybe two years back. He had left his cell phone at his grandmother’s house So I called it to find out if it was his phone.

It was, my number came up as “Dad” 😎 I coulda cried.

Yup.

I'll guarantee you that he will know who did what when he gets a little older and his appreciation will glow. give it time and be patient, you're ding the right thing, you know it and in a short amount of time he will too.

Met a nice gal some years back, she had a couple little girls. Little brats latched on so hard I had to marry mom. Girls have a father, he is local, they never see him. His fault. I get introduced as their dad. Both are grown, have good jobs, can stand on their own two feet. I still get hugs when I see them, and had one former boyfriend of the younger one tell me that any time he told her something that went against what I had told her, he was wrong, and that was that. Made me feel good that I had made such an impression. Fatherhood can be fallen into by the basest of men. Being dad requires intentional and competent work over time, by a good man. Someone calls you dad, it says a lot of things in one little word.

Have a 30 yr old son that's doing a start over with us now. He has not used the term mom or dad since returning. Just seems bitter about everything. Classic X-box in the bedroom case.