So, there two men are standing in the ally talking.

My dog died.

That's to bad, how did he die?

He ate my tape measure.

Ouch! That must have been a slow agonizing death by inches.

Well, actually, he rallied a bit, and crawled over, and died by the yard.

(Stolen from a reprint of the 1897 Wabigoon Star newspaper)

My girlfriend's dog died. So to cheer her up I bought her another one just like it.

She wanted know, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

Let's see someone try to tell that one with that stupid metric system.

What has four legs and flies?

A dead dog.

The dog rallied again, and crawled over to the hydro pole, and died by the meter.

They had tape measures in 1897?

Likely those old folding kinds.

Wow. Looks like they were invented in1829!