Anyone know a for sure way to guarantee I can get one of my turds to fossilize for the future edification of whatever type of being "Mankind" becomes?

Maybe find a highly mineralized spring and plant one in the sediments close enough to get a good dose of silicates and such, but not so close as to get soft and mushy and dissolve?

I'm doing this for the benefit of the Universe, Science and all that after all. I eat well, not a lot of processed food. There could be some important info passed down, as it seems there is so much consumption of junk food future scientists might think that was all this cohort of human life existed on. At least in developed countries.

I've got an abundance of material to work with. Some folks say I'm full of it.

I've left specimens all over the country and in parts of Baja, maybe Canada even. And not just in septic and sewage systems. Camping and hunting has allowed me to inoculate many areas of the country. Mostly in rural/wild areas, but sometimes due to emergency conditions maybe in a more urban setting, say the side of a highway. But my problem is I don't think any will survive for posterity.

Not only for the scientists of the future (Human, ALIEN, or some combination thereof), we have to consider the slumlords and renegades of the future, out in the plowed fields and on the hillsides, looking for artifacts. Can you imagine their surprise and happiness at finding a genuine 21st century petrified turd!

Be like jumping up and down in the field............"I found a turd, a fossilized dookie! Fugg them arrowheads and scrapers, how many of these does ol' Jonesy down the road have in his collection. I'm making a special shadowbox for this one, blue velvet for the background. Take it to the county fair and everything".

I need some help here folks. Anyone with experience in fossilizing stuff that can be transferred to "butthole Baby Ruths"?

The future will expect good results.

A lunch box and a gallon of epoxy ought to do it. Bury that sucker and it'll still be in good shape a 1000 years from now.


Toss in a dog turd just to confuse 'em.

Nice line of thought.

Polymer or metal lunchbox?

Old "Thermos" style, or a square one with the "A Team" pictures on it?

🤦‍♂️

I do not know what that little emoji goodie is. It doesn't show up well on my Compac computer screen.

I was examining some sotol fibre sandals from the Shumla cave site out on the Pecos that were conserved by the Texas Archaeological Research Labratories out at the Jake Pickle center in North Austin. They brought one out for me in it’s special container and they were holding back giggles of laughter. When I picked it up the exploded in guffaws. This sandal was known as "The Pooh Sandal".

Yes, the prior owner had stepped right in a big steamer!!!

Approximate age. Probably somewhere around 800-1200 y o.

Old man, I can send you one in the morning.

A masterpiece

Dude, that is cooler than finding parts of old leather harnesses and handmade nails in an old Spanish ranch house in the backcountry of SoCal.

We never did find the outhouse pit. Never know what you'll find in one of them.

That would be epic! But, just go bury it somewhere for the slummies of the future to find.

Tin. Personally I would try to source the classic Grizzly Adams lunch box that was shaped like a log cabin.

https://www.ebay.com/itm/3734170071...ZleVsv2CkADBQR1FQ30NXFYm7R4aAjHqEALw_wcB

Dayum

They want bank for that Thundercats box

Don't give them future turd collectors a rosy picture of us by leaving them a bunch of digested carrot sticks. Show em the realistic diet. Pound down about 15 dollars worth of Taco Bell, toss in a few Twinkies, and wash it down with a 2 liter of fake Mountain Dew from Walmart.

You would probably need a five gallon bucket instead of a lunch box though.

Thundercats........ Hoooo!!!!

Mountain Lightnin’

hell yeah


67cents to get your tweak on

No can do, mostly organical here. Them futurists will have plenty of junk food stools to play with. All the preservative, artificial colors and flavors. It's a wonder the sewage treatment plants of America can even deal with that stuff.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fatberg

If you have plenty to work with...
Why not try something more significant?
Perhaps packing Pelosi in it would work?
She is practically a fossil already...

TFF!!!

You can't plan out a coprolite.

Sh*t just happens.

It’s a face palm emoticon.

V2.0 of this.

Dry the turd out and soak it in sodium silicate, aka waterglass.

If you want to get educated on coprolite look here:

https://forum.rocktumblinghobby.com/thread/92117/got-coprolite

Perhaps someone along those lines would act as a catalyst to petrification?

I like the V1.O better.

Someone I know has one of them fancy iPhones that makes "memojis".

I hate them too.

Coolio, thanks for the link.

Studied them in Archaeology class some.

I would base your research on the scientific knowledge of Twinkies.

Maybe you could eat a whole lot of Twinkies beforehand?

Maybe the space-age celaphone of a Twinkie wrapper might help?

Possibly proximity to 11 adjoining Twinkies in a 12-pack would provide camaraderie for longevity?

Good luck to us all.

I thought this was going to be a thread about Joe Biden or Nancy Pelosi. Those are the best examples of fossilized turds I've seen.

Coprolite production:

Cover turd with 3,000 feet of mud.
Allow to cure for 50 million years, checking for doneness every million or so.