Freddy? Freddy the freeloader. I knew it was coming. The question was when. Wife, his sister knew it too.
He's been married 5 times, a 100 live ins, that's usually him living with them. After months another sister runs him off cause she can no longer afford him. His wealthier brother puts him up time after time, but not happy with it, just sibling love. Not sure if the guy don't get it , or is just a freeloader. I gave him a weekly price to stay several years ago after I had had enough of him. He was gone in 2 days.
Then he was back back this year. Fed him good. Let him park a big enclosed trailer in the yard. Listened to his pipe dreams for 2 weeks, he's 65. Thinking over the top dreams gotta stop after 20 years of talking chit about them, I could go on about his crazy chit but you wouldn't believe me. And, I don't want to type that long.
WHY? did I let him come back again? One more chance....& wife,,,,, his sister/my wife owns half this house.
Well, yesterday I tell him $125 a week after 3rd week, he gets pissed & goes outside... Wife says unfair, so I follow him out & tell him that, so it's a $100 a week. Then he starts chit, even acts like he's gonna come at me a couple times. That's when I tell him it's now $500 a week, pay it or gtfo.
That happened. Of course wife is mad at me, but is relieved he's gone, just won't admit it. I feel sorry for the dumb SOB at times as it seems he just cant face modern times & reality, somebodies always out to get him. But I have to survive myself, as well as my wife. We're both retired & living meager.
Question is not that I'm an azzhole, I've admitted to this at times, but was the hard line with a moocher halfway sensible?
My son just booted out his best friend from Montana that's been sleeping on an air mattress in his dining room for nearly two weeks. Nice guy and all, it's just intrusive on son's young family after a few days of a live-in house guest. Especially when the ring camera at his front door goes off at 1 am when he rolls in.
The guy makes damn good money and can afford a hotel room.
When wife and I are houseguests with friends I try to limit it to 2 nights. 3 tops. After that you wear out your welcome IMHO.
ps - I've put up a lot of houseguests over the years. Some are great, some are not. Once kicked out my own Father in law.
i wouldn't care if the house was half hers, i'd tell her he has to gtfo asap. he could find a campground nearby and stop by occasionally for a meal. and then leave. if he's 65 and hasn't gotten his schit together, it ain't happening.
Dammit guys, not sure I'd get back up on the matter. Having a guilt trip all day. Maybe a bit softer than I thought I was. I usually take the hard/cold line & catch chit for it from some.
Logic,,,, not a bad thing IMO. Some can't deal with it.
Dammit guys, not sure I'd get back up on the matter. Having a guilt trip all day. Maybe a bit softer than I thought I was. I usually take the hard/cold line & catch chit for it from some.
Logic,,,, not a bad thing IMO. Some can't deal with it.
Appreciate the thoughts,,, big time.
You were being too nice, especially if he has a history mooching. Hell find another victim to manipulate shortly.
Life's about helping others. If he needs help, help him. If he's taking advantage, that's another issue. If rent is out of the question, create work for him to do.
If someone is trying I will be one of the first people to help them anyway I can. I refuse though to allow some to turn a safety net into a hammock. You made the right call. GreggH
Freddy? Freddy the freeloader. I knew it was coming. The question was when. Wife, his sister knew it too.
He's been married 5 times, a 100 live ins, that's usually him living with them. After months another sister runs him off cause she can no longer afford him. His wealthier brother puts him up time after time, but not happy with it, just sibling love. Not sure if the guy don't get it , or is just a freeloader. I gave him a weekly price to stay several years ago after I had had enough of him. He was gone in 2 days.
Then he was back back this year. Fed him good. Let him park a big enclosed trailer in the yard. Listened to his pipe dreams for 2 weeks, he's 65. Thinking over the top dreams gotta stop after 20 years of talking chit about them, I could go on about his crazy chit but you wouldn't believe me. And, I don't want to type that long.
WHY? did I let him come back again? One more chance....& wife,,,,, his sister/my wife owns half this house.
Well, yesterday I tell him $125 a week after 3rd week, he gets pissed & goes outside... Wife says unfair, so I follow him out & tell him that, so it's a $100 a week. Then he starts chit, even acts like he's gonna come at me a couple times. That's when I tell him it's now $500 a week, pay it or gtfo.
That happened. Of course wife is mad at me, but is relieved he's gone, just won't admit it. I feel sorry for the dumb SOB at times as it seems he just cant face modern times & reality, somebodies always out to get him. But I have to survive myself, as well as my wife. We're both retired & living meager.
Question is not that I'm an azzhole, I've admitted to this at times, but was the hard line with a moocher halfway sensible?
Freddy? Freddy the freeloader. I knew it was coming. The question was when. Wife, his sister knew it too.
He's been married 5 times, a 100 live ins, that's usually him living with them. After months another sister runs him off cause she can no longer afford him. His wealthier brother puts him up time after time, but not happy with it, just sibling love. Not sure if the guy don't get it , or is just a freeloader. I gave him a weekly price to stay several years ago after I had had enough of him. He was gone in 2 days.
Then he was back back this year. Fed him good. Let him park a big enclosed trailer in the yard. Listened to his pipe dreams for 2 weeks, he's 65. Thinking over the top dreams gotta stop after 20 years of talking chit about them, I could go on about his crazy chit but you wouldn't believe me. And, I don't want to type that long.
WHY? did I let him come back again? One more chance....& wife,,,,, his sister/my wife owns half this house.
Well, yesterday I tell him $125 a week after 3rd week, he gets pissed & goes outside... Wife says unfair, so I follow him out & tell him that, so it's a $100 a week. Then he starts chit, even acts like he's gonna come at me a couple times. That's when I tell him it's now $500 a week, pay it or gtfo.
That happened. Of course wife is mad at me, but is relieved he's gone, just won't admit it. I feel sorry for the dumb SOB at times as it seems he just cant face modern times & reality, somebodies always out to get him. But I have to survive myself, as well as my wife. We're both retired & living meager.
Question is not that I'm an azzhole, I've admitted to this at times, but was the hard line with a moocher halfway sensible?
Life's about helping others. If he needs help, help him. If he's taking advantage, that's another issue. If rent is out of the question, create work for him to do.
Damn good thoughts man, but you'll just have to trust me on the fact that he's been offered a lot of help & opportunities. He just can't get a grip. A few years ago finding work for him was fruitless, & now that he's got his disability check, he thinks he's got a handle on it all.
The more I scan all this, the more I realize just how useless he is. Even though he has a likeable personality. Those are the worst aren't they.
Honestly, your wife and her siblings should be ashamed of themselves, enabling him all these years, he is now 65 and doesn't have enough time to change into a better life. Maybe he never would have but they will never know as he was always coddled and taken care of by his siblings.
At this point they should take care of him as he's never been taught to take care of himself.
It's tough to say no to family but at times it needs to be done.
If it's any consolation you're not alone, My BIL is a worthless piece of schit as well. My wife jumped on board with me when he stole from us, his mother kept enabling him even as he robbed her blind. He'll never change but at least his mother finally did at my daughters urging.
Freddy? Freddy the freeloader. I knew it was coming. The question was when. Wife, his sister knew it too.
He's been married 5 times, a 100 live ins, that's usually him living with them. After months another sister runs him off cause she can no longer afford him. His wealthier brother puts him up time after time, but not happy with it, just sibling love. Not sure if the guy don't get it , or is just a freeloader. I gave him a weekly price to stay several years ago after I had had enough of him. He was gone in 2 days.
Then he was back back this year. Fed him good. Let him park a big enclosed trailer in the yard. Listened to his pipe dreams for 2 weeks, he's 65. Thinking over the top dreams gotta stop after 20 years of talking chit about them, I could go on about his crazy chit but you wouldn't believe me. And, I don't want to type that long.
WHY? did I let him come back again? One more chance....& wife,,,,, his sister/my wife owns half this house.
Well, yesterday I tell him $125 a week after 3rd week, he gets pissed & goes outside... Wife says unfair, so I follow him out & tell him that, so it's a $100 a week. Then he starts chit, even acts like he's gonna come at me a couple times. That's when I tell him it's now $500 a week, pay it or gtfo.
That happened. Of course wife is mad at me, but is relieved he's gone, just won't admit it. I feel sorry for the dumb SOB at times as it seems he just cant face modern times & reality, somebodies always out to get him. But I have to survive myself, as well as my wife. We're both retired & living meager.
Question is not that I'm an azzhole, I've admitted to this at times, but was the hard line with a moocher halfway sensible?
Freddy? Freddy the freeloader. I knew it was coming. The question was when. Wife, his sister knew it too.
He's been married 5 times, a 100 live ins, that's usually him living with them. After months another sister runs him off cause she can no longer afford him. His wealthier brother puts him up time after time, but not happy with it, just sibling love. Not sure if the guy don't get it , or is just a freeloader. I gave him a weekly price to stay several years ago after I had had enough of him. He was gone in 2 days.
Then he was back back this year. Fed him good. Let him park a big enclosed trailer in the yard. Listened to his pipe dreams for 2 weeks, he's 65. Thinking over the top dreams gotta stop after 20 years of talking chit about them, I could go on about his crazy chit but you wouldn't believe me. And, I don't want to type that long.
WHY? did I let him come back again? One more chance....& wife,,,,, his sister/my wife owns half this house.
Well, yesterday I tell him $125 a week after 3rd week, he gets pissed & goes outside... Wife says unfair, so I follow him out & tell him that, so it's a $100 a week. Then he starts chit, even acts like he's gonna come at me a couple times. That's when I tell him it's now $500 a week, pay it or gtfo.
That happened. Of course wife is mad at me, but is relieved he's gone, just won't admit it. I feel sorry for the dumb SOB at times as it seems he just cant face modern times & reality, somebodies always out to get him. But I have to survive myself, as well as my wife. We're both retired & living meager.
Question is not that I'm an azzhole, I've admitted to this at times, but was the hard line with a moocher halfway sensible?
Don't let a manipulator ruin your marriage or your life by bringing uncalled for stress into your house
Dammit guys, not sure I'd get back up on the matter. Having a guilt trip all day. Maybe a bit softer than I thought I was. I usually take the hard/cold line & catch chit for it from some.
Logic,,,, not a bad thing IMO. Some can't deal with it.
Appreciate the thoughts,,, big time.
He acts the way he does because of people like you and your wife
Dammit guys, not sure I'd get back up on the matter. Having a guilt trip all day. Maybe a bit softer than I thought I was. I usually take the hard/cold line & catch chit for it from some.
Logic,,,, not a bad thing IMO. Some can't deal with it.
Appreciate the thoughts,,, big time.
He acts the way he does because of people like you and your wife
If your types didn’t exist he’d be a success.
This.
I don't know about a "success" per say but he sure would have found a way to fend for himself without all the handouts.
Honestly, your wife and her siblings should be ashamed of themselves, enabling him all these years, he is now 65 and doesn't have enough time to change into a better life. Maybe he never would have but they will never know as he was always coddled and taken care of by his siblings.
At this point they should take care of him as he's never been taught to take care of himself.
It's tough to say no to family but at times it needs to be done.
If it's any consolation you're not alone, My BIL is a worthless piece of schit as well. My wife jumped on board with me when he stole from us, his mother kept enabling him even as he robbed her blind. He'll never change but at least his mother finally did at my daughters urging.
You are not responsible for the survival of anyone else except your offspring and even then only until they've reached maturity. We really need to get back to the "what can you bring to the table" mentality in this country.
I ve been married twice and i ve never had a decent brother in law,hell i never had a girlfriend that had a decent brother even,not a shooter or hunter in the bunch,just alot of mamas boys bums. My wife and i found out after her mother died,that her mom had been writing $200.00 a month checks to her brother for years.P.O.S. ,had been living off of a sick,deaf old lady for years. Now he s living off of dead moms life insurance,,,his 1/3,,, when that runs out... he s f...ed.Not our problem,when my wife and her sister found out he d been living off her..........all hell broke loose."I was gonna pay it all back!!!" B.S. Once a P.O.S always a P.O.S. a leopard never chages his spots.
Well, he's a big sucker, about 6'4", got a hell of a reach, not to mention he's younger. I'd probably would have wound up adding injury to insult if I had to go a round with him. Plus, if I was getting hurt too bad I'd be the one in trouble as I'm gettin too old for that chit & equalizers could come into play.
The hell of it all for him, he's not a druggie, & drinks very little. Has owned 2 or 3 decent pieces of property. Constantly complaining about neighbors. I've told him he needed to work harder so he could buy in a better neighborhood. But talking to the wife's cat produces more results.
Hindsight is always so clear. Looking back, I could have stopped all this some years ago, or at least this time around. Just trying to get along, bit me. I try to get along with wife, but I've got one person I have to get along with, & that's me. I feel physically sick when I try to swallow something that's just not right with me. My lesson has been learned.
I ve been married twice and i ve never had a decent brother in law,hell i never had a girlfriend that had a decent brother even,not a shooter or hunter in the bunch,just alot of mamas boys bums. My wife and i found out after her mother died,that her mom had been writing $200.00 a month checks to her brother for years.P.O.S. ,had been living off of a sick,deaf old lady for years. Now he s living off of dead moms life insurance,,,his 1/3,,, when that runs out... he s f...ed.Not our problem,when my wife and her sister found out he d been living off her..........all hell broke loose."I was gonna pay it all back!!!" B.S. Once a P.O.S always a P.O.S. a leopard never chages his spots.
learned after my mother died, she had been paying our youngest brother's bills for years. my other two brothers and I were not happy, then he came to my house and let himself into my dads apt and stole stuff of my moms out of my dad's safe, told him 7 yrs ago unless he apologized to our father and returned the stuff he took, I'd kill him if he came around. Have not seen or heard from him since.
Former neighbor had a late teens stepson from a previous marriage like that come live with her and her family for a summer once. He not only took advantage of her and family, he used any and everyone that would let him. After a few months she sat him down and asked him why he continually used people like he did and his reply was, "If they are dumb enough to let me use them, I'm going to us them", with no indication of, regret, remorse or conscientious.
Former neighbor had a late teens stepson from a previous marriage like that come live with her and her family for a summer once. He not only took advantage of her and family, he used any and everyone that would let him. After a few months she sat him down and asked him why he continually used people like he did and his reply was, "If they are dumb enough to let me use them, I'm going to us them", with no indication of, regret, remorse or conscientious.
