She onna roll. LOL

She pulled the "deaf old lady with a walker" routine on the judge and he let her walk. Said there was no way this sweet old lady throat punched that bouncer. The last time was just an anomaly. Ha! He never saw her making us eat mac and cheese after she caught us throwing it under the table! Ah, to be 87!

And other whoppers....

Sorry to hear about your mom.

Let it go.

Mom never hit her 3 sons with her hand but was down right terrifying with a fly swatter. She could clip an earlobe no matter how fast you tried to run past her.

George

Changla...

OK, very well. Very coherent post. Now, just relax, I am going to ask you the three questions we had to ask when I was a paramedic, when, we were on an ambulance call and we suspected the patient had lost his mind.
Hang in there, if you are not insane these are easy.

1. What is your name? Should be simple, if your answer is Julius Caesar, there is a problem.

2. Where are you? If you said "State of Georgia" or "Baldwin County Georgia" that was A-OK. If you said "I am in Bimini Bahamas" that would be a problem.

3. What year is this? If you said, "2021" you are good to go. If you said "1865 and that man just shot President Lincoln" that is a big problem.

Oriented to person, time, and place. If you miss one of these questions, it is off to the State Mental Institution for 72 hours for review and possible admission.

So go ahead and answer these 3 questions, fireball, let us see if you need 72 hours in the State Insititution.

Dad never raised a hand to any of his 5 children because he believed that a man is too big to lay a hand on a woman or child. His approval was what kept us in line because we all respected and (strangely) feared him. Mom on the other hand WAS the disciplinarian but we deserved everything we got. Mom, despite wielding a yardstick like a samurai, was the epitome of love and fairness. Mom broke enough wooden yardsticks over my ass that she finally decided to get a metal yardstick. When mom slid that thing from between the furnace and duct sounded similar to what I imagine Excalibur sounded like when it was being unsheathed in battle.

I’d take every whooping I got as a boy right now for one more day with mom.

Yardstick and fly swatter!

Dad used a belt. Calm, cool.

Mom,
well, I'll just say my Mom loved me more than yardsticks and fly swatters.

Dad spanked me only once in my life. Mother, on the other hand, would grab anything that was in her reach and beating would commence.

in my case was a belt or ironing cord.
he was wailing on my back in the front yard one day, really ripped into me and i deserved it.
somebody called the police. he called me out and i said i don't know what they are talking about.
after they left, my dad said you must finally be getting smart, they would have put me in jail, but
i would get out, and the licking i would get would be special.

Only 72 hours?

1) Reginald Denny

2) I'm scuba diving at the moment.

3)

Well, I never felt the belt or yardstick, but did feel the cat-o-nine-tails, ........ finally had enough and it somehow disappeared in the garden!!

Good morning Roy!

How’s the headache this morning?

Such drama.

Good morning friend! Believe it or not I never made it to that cold beer (or anything else) last night.

😁

Mom, and her wooden spoons.
Wore out a belt (literally) on my azz. (deservedly)

Once, a few years before she died, stated that she always knew I'd be the world's best at something.
But, she never realized it would be serving as a bad example!
That started a lively conversation at the Thanksgiving dinner! Involved all 7 of us children - me the eldest and prime example of what NOT to do - and why!

My Mom used an OCedar angler broom. Broke quite a few over my back.,

My mother never laid a hand on us, but my grandmother had a switch that came off the fig tree in her back yard. Fig limbs are are like a fiberglass fishing rod. That SOB hurt.

Switches sucked