Me?…Cremation then dust the mountains, rivers, and prairie with my ash.

🦫

Same here
Have friends meet at a bar, buy em all a round or 3 then start spreading me wherever.

Cremation.

Ideally on a raft made of logs, the whole thing doused in oil. That or conventional crematorium then shot out of a cannon like Hunter Thompson.

FYI it takes 6 hours to cremate a body in a modern oven. Make sure the crematorium has enough capacity!

Told my wife to fry my azz

Burn me.

SAME ,

future generations will dig up grave sites and haul them off to the dump .

Seen it a hunnerd times

Light me up and put me between my wife’s boobs when she goes.lol. Ed

I’ll bite….And how’d you come by this snippet of information?

Assuming you were talking about an LG type oven
😬🦫

Remove any working, usable parts, cremate n spread per wishes !

Pine box.

Cheap as possible.

My BIL is scattered around the base of a huge pine tree that he had a deer stand in for quite a while...............

His younger brother, his sisters and myself, friends all 'get it'....... his momma doesn't like it!

Dad says scatter him in the swamp where he hunted, or 'pour me on the deck of the airboat and go running up and down the Chassahowitzka River 'til I'm gone'........... we'll do that pop.

Wife and I will be cremated, our girls can pour us out somewhere in AK during the paid for cruise.

Truth be known the folks that are left to 'deal' with me after the fact can do as they please and I, likely, will not care much one way or the other.........

Trolling for Happy Glamour to give his 3000 word explanation on how cremation is the deevil’s way of a send off.

🦫

Done to a crisp, here. I think that viewing a corpse is too tough on loved ones.

Cremation.
The less I can financially impact my family the better.
I'll have my best dog next to me in the family plot.

Love the practicality of this…

🦫

Light me up! Spread me on my hunting grounds here in Utah, Nevada and Wyoming

Whatever my bride decides. Idgaf.

Same,well done please

Cremate.
Per a approved Roman Catholic service on the list here at St Micheals in Clarksville
So they get their cut and I dont burn in Hell like that APOSTATE Happy Camper.

Cremation for sure... Take my ashes into the mountains

Cremation then use the leaf blower to spread the ashes! Family knows half go to the mountains, half to the ocean. Unless they just flush and save the time!

Make me ashes and scatter em with the ashes of my favorite dog. Rangely lake would work. A lot of great memories from there. But, those who survive me could choose the where if they chose.

I mentioned on a previous post that “The Old Man’s” last words to my brother and I was “I’ll see you boys on the Big Rock”.
The Big Rock sticks outta the mountain near the top in the state game lands near home. We always hunted up there, so now every year in Buck Season, I go up there and leave a beer and a cigarette for Dad.
I told Ben when I kick off, I want cremated and he’s supposed to take me up there in a mason jar and give it a chuck.
It’s been a while since he’s made the trip with me, so he’ll probably have to hunt it, but the Rock and “The Old Man” are always there.
7mm

Nobody for the Hans Solo or Ted Williams superfreeze?

Revive in the year 2525

I'm not taking up any unnecessary space in the ground so it's cremation for me and my wife can do whatever she wants with my remains, as long as she doesn't flush me down the toilet.

Ash's for me, dump at least part of them in my hunting woods.

upload image

I'd like to be cremated and shot out into the galaxy on a small space probe with a Trump bumper sticker on it - Jeff Bezos, will you sponsor my request??

Cremation. Buy ammo with cost savings LOL

Cremate me and spread my ashes over the mountains. Just, please, don't let The Dude and Walter do it.

This. Explicitly written for both of us in our trust.

I have always told the kids, When I am done with it, it will be an empty vessel. Treat it as such.

I sure as hell ain't going to be looking over their shoulder to see what they do, nor would I care.

We have found a local place that does a great job of cremation including transport of the deceased to their facility. Just prior to Covid, they took care of the Mother in Law. $800 out the door.

25 percent of the cost for the same service at three different local funeral homes.

There is a live drainage ditch through our old family farm. I told the kids they could dump the ashes there. That would keep the ashes out of the septic tank.

BBQ my ass. I will be dead, no sense in wasting money on a.funeral.
Told my wife to take the money for a funeral and go on a singles cruise after I croak.
Wife's family has a memorial set up at the house on Lake of the Ozarks where
everyone's ashes are dumped into a pit.

Cremation. Most spread into the Gulf Stream, with the rest mixed with some special epoxy and made into heads for a few offshore trolling lures. Those lures will be given to a few younger sportfish captains who worked with me over the years, so they can keep fishing with me and winning blue marlin tournaments long after I’m gone.

Fish ON!!!

I've told my wife and kids to cremate me and dump my ashes in our familys pet cemetery. I'd rather spend eternity next to my old dogs rather than any place else. Its on our family homestead behind our house and just past a BBQ ramada that weve spent a lot of time at. That way every time theyre BBQing and drinking beer together they can come over a pour a little out for me. Hoping they dont decide to take a pee on me though.

Whatever is cheapest, won't matter to me.

Something cool about a guy wanting to be with his best dogs, rather than his women. I’ve heard it a lot.

Figure some of us have spent a lifetime with our spouse, just rather have an enjoyable afterlife hunting with our dogs than listening to an endless list of “Honey Do Chores” from her.

Laffin

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Same here, I hope they enjoy the dispersal locations as much as I did.


mike r

I told my wife and kids to cremate me and dump my ashes in the Llano river. Dump them upstream near Mason and then head to Castell and drink a beer as I float on past.

Burn my sorry ass and toss me in the ocean.

...but make sure I be ded first 'mkay?

I don't much care. I told my wife to drag the carcass out into the woods and prop it up against a tree. Wait six months or so then report me missing. Park my old truck on the other side of the valley and let 'em look. If I have advance notice, I have the place of my demise and subsequent decomposition all picked out. I hope the ravens have a feast. GD

I don't care, just make sure I'm actually dead before proceeding.

Yessir.
Immediate take away, use any and all that can be, cremate remainder, no obituary, no funeral, memorial service if family wants it, spread ashes as requested.

I wish I could be taped to the bottom of a reentry capsule and burn off that. But for now, I want to be torched, a third in the Middle Fork, a third in the St Mary River and the last third in either the Beaverhead or Teton.

I have my camo ash bucket on top of the gun safe.Everything is already paid for,The boy can do what ever with us he wants.The wife and dog are on the mantel waiting.

Throw me on a rock pile out at the farm and let the animals pick away at me. Don’t care what happens when I’m dead

Whatever's cheapest and easiest for whoever has to deal with it.

GF and I just had a conversation about this the other day. I told her I want cremated and my ashes spread between here where I hunt, Pymatuning lake and lake Erie.

Cremation for my wife and I. Kids can do whatever, whenever afterwards.


Had an uncle pass a few years ago, he wanted his ashes spread on some private land he had history with. The new owners said no to the request. A family friend offered to take his plane out for a little crop dusting, our whole family watched from roadside.

Wife and I are organ donors. After they harvest any organs, our wills state we are to be cremated and specifies where we would like ashes spread.

I’m going the Timothy Treadwell route. I figure I’ll let the bears eat me and spread my remains

The important part is for those who survive you to have closure. The dead person won't care, but those still alive will.

My hunting and fishing mentor died in 1985, and was cremated. His daughter never picked up his ashes, never held any kind of a ceremony. I picked up his ashes and took them to the place where we hunted for years. I put him in the river we loved to hunt near and fish. I did the same with my dog, who also loved that place. I'm considering having the same thing done with my remains. I better make up my mind soon as I will be 75 in a month.

Mom had a company who sold the body for scientific use then back to the company for cremation. We were sent the ashes. All for free. Wish I remembered the company's name. Be Well, RZ.

Quite a few of my relatives have donated their bodies to medical research, primarily at the University of South Alabama School of Medicine. Dad wanted to go that way as well. All we had to pay for was delivery from the hospital to the med school. They kept him for about a year, cremated the remains and mailed his ashes home. I like to think he was still helping out after he was gone. I'll do the same.

Roll me up and smoke me when I die.

^^^This^^^

A noted and wealthy old Rancher from a Pioneer Family from this area had his nephews haul his plain pine box to the Cemetery on his Ranch in a horse drawn wagon.
At graveside, his nephews each drove a nail into the lid of the coffin. Then they placed his well worn and battered Stetson hat on top of the coffin before lowering it into the ground.
Neat funeral.

Nowadays, lots of permits and paperwork required if you want to be buried on private land.
So some have the body cremated and then bury the ashes on the Ranch.

My will specifies that I be fed to a wood chipper.

There is another alternative. In our town we now have a section of our newest cemetery that is designated a green burial site. The green burial is simple and very inexpensive. You buy the grave site and have a responsible person or a funeral home if you chose to place your non embalmed body into a biodegradable burial container and it is placed into our site. No casket and no vault. The body and site are free to return to nature without the traditional grave markers associated with cemeteries. The body enclosed in a biodegradable burial container is placed at the bottom of a 4 to 5 foot grave lined with pine bows, wood chips and anything that will quickly decompose. The earth is placed back onto the site and allowed to form a hump on top of the grave which will in time settle as the body decomposes. The cost for the grave site complete with a deed is less than a grand and there is only the excavation charges that the family would have to pay for. No granite markers and a simple wooden cross or other biodegradable marker is allowed. Most so far have had a funeral home to coordinate but it isn't necessary. I am a cemetery commissioner here in town and we feel that the green burial concept will be similar to when cremation came on the scene offering a cheaper alternative to traditional burial which has gone way up in cost. Presently cremations are probably more popular than traditional but have gone up in price over time. Our cemetery was the first in Vermont to offer this service but others have now gone this way. I suspect in most ares of the country other cemeteries are also making this service available. Body back to nature is the concept.

No obituary? I didn’t realize you are that embarrassed of yourself.

I’ve pre-paid for my cremation. Two friends know the locations where I’d like my ashes spread on the mountain.

Set it up a couple months ago to be torched. Boys won't have to do a thing. Done paid for and all. Why take up space?

cremation for me. If I know that I am about to die, I am going to eat a whole bag of unpopped popcorn. Y'all get the butter because it is going to epic

Cremation for sure. Just like my father.

Whatever is cheaper............

Cremated and buried at sea. I was honor guard for scores of them in the Navy. Lest they can do is chuck me off the fantail with 3 volley's.

Looking into claims about historical events.

Beaver10;
Good afternoon to you sir, I hope the day's been a good one for you.

For sure it's a personal choice, but honestly I've never gone to visit the gravesites of either of my parents.

I remember Dad in places he liked - up in the mountains especially.

I've told the kids to pick a place with a good view and if it's fall and season's open, grab a rifle and the license and tag are on me!

This is one spot I've recommended to our eldest daughter who is my usual hunting partner.



Can't begin to count the number of wonderful mornings we've had there together. Either that or the place she knocked down her biggest mulie so far - there's fantastic view there too.

We're very open to spreading ashes in BC - anywhere on public lands or waters is fine.

All the best.

Dwayne

Prop me up against the jukebox when I die……lol.

I’ll take a hole in the ground thank you.

My wife has this weird thing about being buried alive.
She wants cremated.
Always had a thing about that.
Kinda still do.

But.

I know how bad the Funeral Homes screw people on expense.
And it would haunt me to be screwed over that bad at the end.
Thing is, around here cremation is a couple grand.
So even in that,
They be running one up your cold dead ass.

Pretty cool, what a neat option.

I’m gonna be cremated, be cheapest for those left behind, they can leave the ashes where they want, long as it’s outside.

I'm supposed to be burnt, then dumped in the Licking river. Take a ride, see some Ky. scenery on the way to the Ohio, then stop a some boat clubs, have a beer or 2 & on to the Mississippi & attend a party or 5 in New Awlins.

Cremation

A good friend died more’n ten years back, as per her request she was cremated and no service held for six months. By that time the keen edge of loss had dulled a bit and it was more a celebration of her life.

Her ashes were apportioned to family and friends. A portion given to me were left at her favorite place in Upstate NY, some more left in a place I know she would have liked in the Sacramento Mts in NM. She had been to Costa Rica and loved the sound of howler monkeys, when I was there I left some in a grove of trees first place I heard them.

All in all the best funeral service I’ve seen.

Will covtards still be wearing masks in 2525? If so, push my thaw date out another 500 years.

Burn me, scatter me out where the pigs root.

Not sure if cremation is Biblical. So my wife and I will be six feet down with head stone.

Sponson 8 is now open!! haha

My son is going to load a pinch of my ashes in 45-70 rounds and take me out shooting one last time!

It depends if I die before or after my wife.

I qualify for Arlington under the current rules (which get tighter every year as space disappears) but have decided that my survivors need not apply.

If my local golf course turns a blind eye, I'd like my ashes to be spread there. Not strictly legal, but I never was, either LOL! Failing that, any local lake will do quite nicely.

Is Soylent Green an option?

Cremation and sprinkle next to Granite creek up in the Pacific Northwest Cascades. That is where my mom and dad are .

Mine are in Heaven.

I have 12 family members in a little cemetery in PA. There’s one more spot left.

I think I want one of those little benches that has “Sit with me a while” on it”. That, or a tombstone that says, “I told you I was sick!”

How will I know or care?

About 100 years ago, my great grandfather sold 2 acres of his homestead to the county for a cemetery. It's county cemetery but maybe half of the residents are relatives. Years ago, my mother bought a block of 5 plots for $75 each. If urns are buried, they will allow 4 urns/plot. We can squeeze a bunch of family members in there. My father, brother, and wife are all there and there's plenty of room left for the rest of my generation.

A humorous side note: When my dad died, my 1st wife had terminal cancer. We were at the cemetery burying Dad and she looked at the plot assigned to us, knowing that within months she'd be there. She said "You're young enough that you'll probably get remarried. There's plenty of room for 3 of us in there."

The Cremation of Sam McGee
BY ROBERT W. SERVICE
There are strange things done in the midnight sun
By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.

Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee, where the cotton blooms and blows.
Why he left his home in the South to roam 'round the Pole, God only knows.
He was always cold, but the land of gold seemed to hold him like a spell;
Though he'd often say in his homely way that "he'd sooner live in hell."

On a Christmas Day we were mushing our way over the Dawson trail.
Talk of your cold! through the parka's fold it stabbed like a driven nail.
If our eyes we'd close, then the lashes froze till sometimes we couldn't see;
It wasn't much fun, but the only one to whimper was Sam McGee.

And that very night, as we lay packed tight in our robes beneath the snow,
And the dogs were fed, and the stars o'erhead were dancing heel and toe,
He turned to me, and "Cap," says he, "I'll cash in this trip, I guess;
And if I do, I'm asking that you won't refuse my last request."

Well, he seemed so low that I couldn't say no; then he says with a sort of moan:
"It's the cursèd cold, and it's got right hold till I'm chilled clean through to the bone.
Yet 'tain't being dead—it's my awful dread of the icy grave that pains;
So I want you to swear that, foul or fair, you'll cremate my last remains."

A pal's last need is a thing to heed, so I swore I would not fail;
And we started on at the streak of dawn; but God! he looked ghastly pale.
He crouched on the sleigh, and he raved all day of his home in Tennessee;
And before nightfall a corpse was all that was left of Sam McGee.

There wasn't a breath in that land of death, and I hurried, horror-driven,
With a corpse half hid that I couldn't get rid, because of a promise given;
It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say: "You may tax your brawn and brains,
But you promised true, and it's up to you to cremate those last remains."

Now a promise made is a debt unpaid, and the trail has its own stern code.
In the days to come, though my lips were dumb, in my heart how I cursed that load.
In the long, long night, by the lone firelight, while the huskies, round in a ring,
Howled out their woes to the homeless snows— O God! how I loathed the thing.

And every day that quiet clay seemed to heavy and heavier grow;
And on I went, though the dogs were spent and the grub was getting low;
The trail was bad, and I felt half mad, but I swore I would not give in;
And I'd often sing to the hateful thing, and it hearkened with a grin.

Till I came to the marge of Lake Lebarge, and a derelict there lay;
It was jammed in the ice, but I saw in a trice it was called the "Alice May."
And I looked at it, and I thought a bit, and I looked at my frozen chum;
Then "Here," said I, with a sudden cry, "is my cre-ma-tor-eum."

Some planks I tore from the cabin floor, and I lit the boiler fire;
Some coal I found that was lying around, and I heaped the fuel higher;
The flames just soared, and the furnace roared—such a blaze you seldom see;
And I burrowed a hole in the glowing coal, and I stuffed in Sam McGee.

Then I made a hike, for I didn't like to hear him sizzle so;
And the heavens scowled, and the huskies howled, and the wind began to blow.
It was icy cold, but the hot sweat rolled down my cheeks, and I don't know why;
And the greasy smoke in an inky cloak went streaking down the sky.

I do not know how long in the snow I wrestled with grisly fear;
But the stars came out and they danced about ere again I ventured near;
I was sick with dread, but I bravely said: "I'll just take a peep inside.
I guess he's cooked, and it's time I looked"; ... then the door I opened wide.

And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm, in the heart of the furnace roar;
And he wore a smile you could see a mile, and he said: "Please close that door.
It's fine in here, but I greatly fear you'll let in the cold and storm—
Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee, it's the first time I've been warm."

Cremated and buried at sea by the USN. The only logical resting place for a Navy Chief.

Creamation.No one around except my wife to care.I asked my wife to take my ashes to the mountains. She said she would most likely throw them in the garden and I sure wouldn't know the difference nor care

Leave me for the vultures for all I care. I'll be dead. My ashes going to fish and hunt in the mountains or something? Somebody wants to plant me like a tomato, fine. Use me for a bonfire? Ok. Put me out in the back pasture and shoot coyotes and ravens off me? Sure. Of all the decisions I have to make, this one is the least important.

I have requested my retched corpse be bound in a canvas sack and then kicked out of a Cessna at 12K ft. AGL over the Bob.
My wife however keeps mumbling something about laws or some nonsense whenever I bring it up so questionable whether my last wishes will be granted.


....would be something though, especially during hunting season while some wayward elk hunter try's to put the sneak on a nice 6 pt. bull. near the impact zone.

Dirt, no cemetery needed.

Nearest trash can if I die on pavement. Leave me in the woods if I die there. Who cares. If my wife and/or son want to waste money on something different, I won't be in any position to argue, so, again, I don't care.

So have "they" been formally instructed to do so?

My plan is to be cremated. When we’re both gone my boys can dump my wife and I into the same container and then spread us out in a few favorite spots.

I wish to be torn apart by wild dogs while my friends sit around and drink beer.

Cremation, Then the boy is going to load up some 12 ga with my ashes and take me out for one last round of trap.

Really enjoyed the poem. Thanks Doc.
7mm

You can make a profit on this dying business by selling your corpse to the local medical college.

Who cares, guaranteed you will not remember it

Thinking strongly about going the cremation route. Why not ? It's a lot cheaper and less hassle. Just need to get it all pre-planned and a final decision made on where the ashes wind up; got several spots in mind. Already have the ashes of my favorite dog here and they can go with mine.

For years I told my sons I wanted to be cremated and have them slip into the park at Gettysburg and fire me out of one of the brass cannons. Since that would likely be viewed now as some kind of terrorist act, I’ve rescinded that order. Don’t want them jailed for turning Dad into a WMD.

I want to be used by 1st year med students to perform really gross practical jokes. What's left over I want mulched into large chunks and used for erosion control.

If that all can't be arranged, I'd just as soon be left out for the turkey buzzards in a sky burial.

Cremate me, If I know I am going to die, I am going to eat a bag of un popped popcorn, y'all bring the butter, it is going to be epic.....

Ever since I first saw her in a Law & Order episode I've had a fascination with Angie Harmon. Since non of my nefarious plots have resulted in the desired
"Weekend with Angie" I humbly request that upon my death I am cremated and my ashes placed in Angie Harmons douche bag. It seems that is the avenue of last resort to achieve my goal.

This topic came up some time back. I have given it some thought and have decided that I will be cremated. The kicker is that I will have instructions on various places for my kids to scatter me. Some on Elis Island followed by a steak in the Oak Room. Some At the Grand Canyon. Some back home in the Driftless. etc. The Idea is to force my kids to see and experience this great land. No need to fill up land that could otherwise be used or purchase an expensive head stone no one will visit. I know that some on this forum have deep family history, I couldn't even tell you the full name of all my grand parents. In 100 yrs. no one will ever know I existed.

Drag me down into the pasture and let the coyotes and buzzards feast.

I don't think I'll have much to do about it!

Kidding, no shake, an' bake in our family yet.

Last week i was in town, got there early, waiting for the bank to open, stopped at the Funeral home, and spent a hour checking out what it would cost to be cremated ?? and the details?? i had already made up my mind and talked to my son about what i wanted and put it all in my will, any way i paid for my cremation, e-mailed all the paper work to my son, Texas, makes it easy, no bullchitt. Rio7

More like a super spreader event :-) . I meant, how much more " spreaded" could a guy get?

Given this some thought over the years.

Provided they find the body before the scavengers:
Taxidermy is too expensive so cheapest cremation possible
Told the wife (and she agreed) cheapest cremation possible, use a coupon or whatever.
Told the boys to light me up in a a row boat in the pool - Viking style
That or spread my remains over Disneyland - not cremated (wood chipper style)

Jeez, I'm way behind the curve.

When did the Holy Roman Catholic Church ( the real Church ) approve cremations?

I was always taught that was a no-no.

That would be about perfect.

The canvas bag would keep the smushed up parts in one place mostly, then rot or be torn into by the critters with claws.

I like your thinking.

And especially the part about the elk hunter getting to enjoy your "final act"

A tip of the hat to you!

I personally don't GAS what happens to my remains; I'm fine with cremation. The cost of the whole burial thing has always seemed ridiculous to me.
My wife seems to want to be buried so maybe I'll get burned and buried with her in her casket. If she goes first it'll be anyone's guess.

I'm going to join with the burial at sea folks, only no cremation first.

Chains and weighted down, slide me over the side. Let the hagfish investigate every orifice to get the process started, then maybe a six gill will find me.

Those giant isopods can then finish up whatever scraps are left on the carcass and let the marine worms or whatever bores into bones break the rest of me down.

If that can't be arranged, then burn me and put my ashes in the ocean, preferably off Trinidad Head where a few of our dogs are. Plant some under a redwood tree first perhaps.

RE: the legality of spreading ashes in some parks and such................HA HA.

My best school friend from 9 years of age was scattered at the Dwyerville Giant in Humboldt Redwoods State Park. I stop and say hello whenever I'm in the area:

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